The Wish-Granting Game

Granted. Hitler communicates with us and brainwashes us to become mindless racist violent assholes and we commit a bunch of crimes and are caught and imprisoned.

I wish for a wheel of cheese with a wedge cut out of it (to complete me).

 

Granted. It's parmesan (or whatever kind of cheese you aren't).

I wish I wasn't lazy.

 

I wish I wasn't lazy.

Granted. You're not lazy, you just have every cancer known to man.

I wish I was immune to every type of illness, disease, or general misfortune to ever befall man, or any other animal for that matter, as well as all cancers in existence.

 

wish not granted. you can't be immune to yourself.

I wish I had boobs.

 

lace, igots & everyone who grants cancer: You fail oh so very much.[/offtopic]

Granted. You now have a pair of large breasts. You suffer from severe back pains, are percieved as a freak and lose all your money, so you have to give boobjobs to ugly guys for a living.

I wish Pac-Man was real.

 

lace, igots & everyone who grants cancer: You fail oh so very much.[/offtopic]

Granted. You now have a pair of large breasts. You suffer from severe back pains, are percieved as a freak and lose all your money, so you have to give boobjobs to ugly guys for a living.

I wish Pac-Man was real.

Pac-Man is real, he's just on your television screen.

I wish I was Chuck Norris.

 

Granted, your name is now Chuck Norris. Expect having your ass kicked by a certain someone for stealing his name.

I wish I had the power to control other people.

 

I wish I had the power to control other people.

Granted. You can now give gays hard-ons.

I wish I had Billy Mays's beard.

 

You control me, you can give all the money you want.

I wish for better grades without commitment on my part.

 

Granted. You can now give gays hard-ons.

I wish I had Billy Mays's beard.

Billy Mays's beard causes you to yell all your sentences and type in caps forever. Eventually you're beaten to death by a pack of librarians.

I wish for better grades without commitment on my part.

Wish granted, I now have better grades you didn't have to lift a finger (except to type that sentence).

I wish giving gays hard-ons wasn't considered a bad thing. (AHEM, IGOTSTHEPOWER9000)

 

I wish giving gays hard-ons wasn't considered a bad thing. (AHEM, IGOTSTHEPOWER9000)

Poof.
For you, giving gays hard-ons is now FABULOUSSSSSSSSSSSS!
It is no longer considered a bad thig, and never really WAS in the first place.

(Sorry... )

I wish Captain Fabulous would forgive me.

 

Only after you run through a honey farm naked will I forgive you. And I will be shooting the honeycomb trays with a rifle.

I wish my food wasn't problematic.

 

Only after you run through a honey farm naked will I forgive you. And I will be shooting the honeycomb trays with a rifle.

I wish my food wasn't problematic.

Wish granted. You will never eat again.



I wish humans would hibernate for the winter.

 

Wish granted. The north and south hemispheres never communicate because one is always asleep, leading to extremely delayed video game releases in Australia.

I wish AIDS stood for Androgynous Irish Drinking Society instead of Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome.

 

Granted. Now every time you have sex, there's a risk of becoming an Irish drunk.

I wish I were as fabulous as you are.

 

I wish AIDS stood for Androgynous Irish Drinking Society instead of Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome.

-Poof-
It does now.

Now every drop of Irish alcohol turns you into a androgynous drunkard, and causes the original disease AIDS. With the new inability to classify this disease, there is no way to treat it, or even know if you have it. Mass hysteria FTW.

I wish I could spawn a blizzard over any town I wanted too.

 

Granted.
You spawned Blizzard Berlin, Frankfurt, Hannover, Karlsruhe and München.
Original Blizzard had to close due the high costs.

I wish for more orgsam.

 

I wish I were as fabulous as you are.

granted, but you're also as annoying as me.

I wish for more orgasm

you now orgasm whenever you sneeze.

I wish for less of igots stealing other peoples wishes FIVE MINUTES after they post.

 

Granted. He now steals them THREE MINUTES after they post.

I wish for a gold bar to appear in front of me on the table in such a way that will not cause harm to me or anyone else and will not cause me any troubles.

 

Granted. The gold bar appearing doesn't cause you any harm, but the thief who suddenly comes into your house, tries to steal it, and, in his efforts to fend off your efforts to reclaim the gold, kills you by throwing the gold at your head repeatedly, does cause you harm.

I wish for bacon.

edit @lace: rofl, thx for noticing (and I'm already at least as annoying as you so it doesn't matter).