The Wish-Granting Game

Gwantid.
It does, but it almost immediately gets dissipated by artificially seeding the eye of the storm and breaking it up, causing minimal damage. This instead results in a storm band that floods New Orleans, while the low-pressure system moves north and re-forms into a hurricane again, eventually hitting and devastating New York.
I wonder if anybody else saw that documentary...

I wish Florida would get hit by a meteor >_>

 

I wish Florida would get hit by a meteor >_>

Granted. It kills off all life on a planetwide scale.

I wish that this wish will not be granted in any way or form.

 

Granted.
This could have been the wish to stop the invading China forces.
God job fucking up earth.

I wish for page 14

 

Granted. You shall receive page 14 sometime in the future.

I wish to have awesome cooking skills.

 

Granted. You now have two awesome cooking skills: the skill to cook yourself alive, and the skill to cook food that will give everyone within a 5 mile radius cancer.

I wish for a billion dollars.

 

Granted. Good luck finding it.

I wish my car had legs.

 

Granted. Your legs have just been removed from your body and attached to your car.

I wish for you to get off my lawn.

 

Granted. You now have no lawn.

I wish to be able to read other people's thoughts in such way that won't harm me ar anyone else.

 

Granted.
Good Luck on hearing out a single thought of the whole world population.
It drives you insane.

I wish for Doom 5.

 

Granted.
Doom 5 is a hyper-realistic simulator virtual reality game. You become trapped inside when a power surge hits, and the safety protocols are removed. You die to a Cyberdemon v6.9.

I wish this thread would die immediately following the next post.

 

Woosh. Granted.
But some one will revive it.

 

No wish?

well then.
I wish my need to urinate wasn't slowly overpowering my laziness.

 

Granted, your laziness wins out and you piss yourself.

I wish for world peace.

 

Granted.
The world is purged of its carbon unit infestation.
(+69 points if you know what movie "carbon unit infestation" is from.)

I wish the planet Earth would crash into the sun.

 

I would grant your wish, but no matter how fast the earth travels at the sun, some other demn evil genie made it travel away just as fast.

I wish for a keyboard with the "R" in lowercase.

 

A keyboard.

I wish for round.

 

Granted, but it's square.

I wish to know whether God exists.

 

He does; it's you. Thanks for that earthquake in Haiti, by the way.

I wish I was under the sea, in an octopus's garden, in the shade.

 

Granted.
You drowned happy.

I wish for less C0²

 

Granted. Unfortunately, a significant sum of the universe's carbon dioxide is taken and plants on Earth can't make glucose. After a time, all of the oxygen left in the Earth's atmosphere is taken through our own respiration and we all quickly suffocate.

I wish for the Krakken to appear somewhere on the Earth.