The Wish-Granting Game

I wish the Flan Princess would give me a pink tail

So do I!
*creepy stalker grin*

I wish these tickets weren't so expensive.

 

Granted. Scientists determine their tensile strength within a tolerance of +/- 2.4kN

2,400 Newtons of tensile strength?
Also, wouldn't this involve putting gays on a rack and stretching them until they break?

Granted. Now everyone you hate can, and does, buy them.

I wish I had a copy of SBURB.

 

wish granted, but it's a broken copy while also the last copy in existance.

i wish i had superpowers

 

Granted. You can grow your incredibly fragile fingernails.
I wish I could do Kirby's and Prince Fluff's end stage dance.

 

Granted. However, you can only do it naked in front of your school.

I wish for moar dakka

 

Okay...
DAKKADAKKADAKKADAKKADAKKA
I wish that I had more Mountain Dew.

 

Granted. You now have more condensation taken from mountains.

I wish for the truth.

 

Granted, but YOU CAN'T HANDLE IT!
I wish that I had a touch-screen computer.

 

granted, but it's made of jello.

i wish for jello.

 

Granted, but QXC beats you up for stealing his computer.

I wish you would CALM THE FUCK DOWN!!!!!

 

OKAY! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! I'LL FUCKING CALM THE FUCK DOWN! GODDAMNIT!

i wish for peace.

 

Granted. All the cells in your body are now at peace (i.e. dead)

I wish the water in my dorm didn't taste like shit.

 

Granted. It tastes like piss.

I wish I was made of antimatter.

 

Granted. But I don't know what antimatter is so you rot instantly.

I wish iI had a billion post counts.

 

Granted. However in order to do that you must transcend time and space thus tearing your body into trillions of little bits

I wish for Soaprun to be back

 

Granted. You are now being chased by massive blocks of soap.

I wanna be a billionaire
So Fuckin bad...

 

Granted. 100,000,000,000 pennies suddenly fall from hundreds of feet over your head, knocking you out and burying you.

I wish my hair would be more cooperative.

 

Granted. Your hair is now sentient, and you go backpacking across bavaria amazing villagers in exchange for room and board. Eventually gypsies capture you and try to force the secrets of your voodoo hair out of you, with little success since gypsies don't understand what you mean when you say "forum genie". Eventually, they decide that you're trying to trick them and have you put to death and you are ravenously devoured by their pack of mongrel dogs.

I wish the english language was more efficient.

 

Granted

I wish people would stop using "was" when "were" is appropriate.


Also, 'grats on making your wish grant actually interesting

 

Okay, but "are" and "is" will be used more insensibly now. ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!

I wish everyone would WAKE THE FUCK UP!!!