The Wish-Granting Game

Granted, but it only updates your Twitter, nothing else.

I wish my girlfriend wasn't in so many after school activities.

 

Granted. she now spends her time screwing another guy.

I have no wish... only a curse...

 

Granted; she's no longer in any after school activities, but, ironically, you are now in all of the activities that she used to be in.

I wish someone would recommend a good Mac virtual machine for Windows to me.

EDIT: ninja'd by whyme, but it doesn't matter since she didn't wish for anything...

 

Granted.
You can use:
Sun (freeware and confusing)
Q (freeware and confusing)
Windows parallels (expensive and simple).

@Whyme: lol

I wish for it to be impossible for me to get bad songs stuck in my head.

 

wish granted, however you loose the ability to hear good music at all. have a nice day.

i wish for world peace. (i wanna see how twisted you can make this.)

 

Granted. The twisted plot that the main protagonist is fighting against in my upcoming mod, "The Paradise Project" comes to pass. You'll have to wait until I release the mod to find out what that plot is, though.

I wish I were a POSSUM, so I could just climb the FUCK up a brick wall, WHENEVER THE FUCK I WANTED!!!

(this is actually a real quote from a drunk guy I drove home from a party a few nights ago)

 

Granted. You are a FUCKING possum and you are also utterly FUCKING hammered whenever the FUCK you drink.

I wish for the person that responds to this to make a wish.

 

Granted. I wish the person who posted before me hadn't wished that I would make a wish.

 

Granted. Now everyone thinks you're a dumbass for talking about something that never even happened.

I wish the Lord would reveal Himself to me.

 

Granted. Now everyone thinks you're a dumbass for talking about something that never even happened.

I wish the Lord would reveal Himself to me.

Granted.
You are teleported to England in the mid 1700s, and have to spend all your time with Lord North, who is a colassal butthead.

I wish my AP US History homework would complete itself, with an A level of effort and answers.

 

wish granted, however it takes so long to do so that it's utterly worthless by the time it's ready

i wish i had a real sword, enchanted so it couldn't accidentally hurt anyone

 

Granted. However, the enchantment also makes it so that it can't intentionally hurt someone, unless that someone is you, and it does so without the physical presence of the one trying to hurt you. In other words, anyone who dislikes you at all can telekinetically make the sword attack you. Have fun.

I wish there weren't so many utterly pointless and ridiculous social norms.

 

Wish granted, you become King of the internet.

I wish I was ded

 

Granted. You are half of king Dedede. You die.

Ded|ede

I wish i had mor monee

 

Granted, however the price was much greater - for each dollar you spend, a random person dies somewhere on Earth.

I wish for my wish to be skipped this time.

 

Granted. You now have mor monee, but nobody recognizes monee, only money, so it's worthless.

I wish online people finders would allow more freedom for leaving fields blank if you don't know certain information about whoever you're looking for.

 

wish granted, however in exchange for allowing you to leave as other many fields as you want blank, there are two required ones. they are the person's zodiac sign and their mother's maiden name

i wish for more guns

 

Granted. There are now more guns... in the hands of the angry mob that is currently attacking you.

I wish to gtfo.

 

Not granted.

I wish all carbon atoms suddenly disapeared.

 

Granted. Way to end all life on earth bro...

I wish I didn't keep missing new pages in threads with new posts.