Negativity Thread.

.em morf selim dnasuoht a devil semitemos taht tenretni eht no elpoep hguorht 3 dah ev'I ,efil laer ni wenk I elpoep htiw spihsnoitaler 5 ekil dah ev'I .yltsenoh em htiw gnorw si tahw wonk t'nod I


'fI tahW' fo noitseuq eht htiw tfel eb syawla lliw I os toidi na ma I dna enoemos htiw er'yeht ecnis detiuqernu eb reverof lliw ti tey tsrow ,tenretni eht revo enoemos rof gnillaf flesym dnif I ,llits teY .keew a ecno tsael ta sdneirf ym htiw tuo og I ,yad lla elpoep dnuora ma I erehw boj a krow I

-hgis-

 

(hguoht yllaer ton) daer ot drah saw taht hsog

I don't really have anything to add to this thread since I don't like being personal, at least not on a public forum like this.

 

Why though? This maybe a public forum where anyone can read what you post, but at the same time this is a small community.

Also, people who don't really care about you most likely won't even bother to read a post you make in a personal thread, that goes double if you post it in reverse and the person has to work a little to understand it.



Thanks for the cares, GIR. <3

 

Paranoia.

Well I guess in respect to this thread, I wish I could be a little less paranoid. Then maybe I could open up to people easier.

And any time, meta. I'm here if you need me.

 

@mihpareSateM
Hmm...
It is your life to live. Your time is precious, and you shouldn't let things be up in the air for too long. Be safe first and foremost, but know when to take chances. If you REALLY want something or someone. You can't be passive for too long. Just waiting or letting things happen will rarely lead you to your desires.

If you have close friends, then you should be close enough to some of them to tell them such troubles. To not feel bad about asking weird things, or being upset or moody when looking for courage or what path to take.


@GIR - It also adds to the mystery of each person to keep quiet

Though still... Nothing wrong with throwing an occasional bone to test the waters and see the ripples? Just make sure that the bone isn't too heavy so you won't get wet or sharp in case it gets thrown back at you! D:

@topic
On the negativity side of things for me :
While I like to believe I can always come up with the "right" thing to do. In reality, I am floating in a world of images, and distant sounds. I ask myself if I'm awake or dreaming. There's no one else around besides my creator. But still I do not move...
Ages and time pass. I see a world that becomes unfamiliar. No one will ever come...
That's what I think as I close my eyes...

It's not so bad, floating along in this way. I may disappear one day, but until then I keep going. As the visions pass over me, I leave hope, that one day that I will stop in my tracks, and my vision will be filled with the warmth of a single person.
...
And just like that,
a world I had never truly seen,
yet was always there,
was shared together...
...
Even if just a dream, it is a pleasant one.

"How long will you live on in the memory of what once was...
When will you start looking at what and who is right in front of you.

Let imagination be the fuel for a brighter tomorrow, rather than a darkness that blinds (binds) you."

....
*hypnotically waves hand* You are getting sleepy... you are forgetting what I wrote...
Zzz

 

Dunc's singing oh god

 

.em morf selim dnasuoht a devil semitemos taht tenretni eht no elpoep hguorht 3 dah ev'I ,efil laer ni wenk I elpoep htiw spihsnoitaler 5 ekil dah ev'I .yltsenoh em htiw gnorw si tahw wonk t'nod I


'fI tahW' fo noitseuq eht htiw tfel eb syawla lliw I os toidi na ma I dna enoemos htiw er'yeht ecnis detiuqernu eb reverof lliw ti tey tsrow ,tenretni eht revo enoemos rof gnillaf flesym dnif I ,llits teY .keew a ecno tsael ta sdneirf ym htiw tuo og I ,yad lla elpoep dnuora ma I erehw boj a krow I

-hgis-

I'm here for you, Meta. <3 find me

 

*hypnotically waves hand* You are getting sleepy... you are forgetting what I wrote...
Zzz

... Actually, I'm not getting sleepy. On the contrary, I'm getting energetic.

Anyway, quadruple negativity.

[1] I keep getting 403 errors when trying to access forums that use the "MyBB" forum software.

[2] I probably have a cold or something, but inhaling/exhaling hurts.

[3] Some imbecile hacked my e-mail address and now I can't access it anymore.

[4] Possible power cuts in the future that will happen every day for twelve hours (meaning I'll be unable to access any site or do just about anything that requires electricity). If what the news says is true, it's going to be country-wide.

 

All theses cares, I can't hold them all. Thanks y'all, I love you. <3

 

I just dropped out of uni. I thought I was passionate about art but apparently not enough to get up and work on it every day.

I really don't know where my life is headed right now.

 

While reading this post, it will make more sense if you listen to this song...

www.youtube.com/watch?v=LxLtXdCn8-U

A couple days ago I was in one of my random bouts of depression and wrote something while listening to the song above...

Spoiler

This song reminds me so much of time gone by, time I will never get back. Time where I had so many friends, even though they did not know who I truly was. Time spent playing a game and having fun... Pretending to be someone completely made up.
That entire time in my life was based around lies, lies that came about my wanting to escape reality. A reality where every day brought me closer to death. School never helped, sure I had friends there but I never really saw them after school, I was never invited anywhere.
One of the only things that kept me from taking that last step towards death’s cold embrace was MapleStory. This game allowed me to meet a lot of people who helped me through rough times in my life. But most importantly, they allowed me to escape reality and become someone else. Someone who wasn’t completely depressed and looking for death to take him/her.
Through most of highschool I played this game in order to escape. People didn’t want me to play it all the time, but they could have never understood. I could feel my grip on life slipping away every moment. Sure you could say that it was all in my head, but no one can really know that for sure. Even to this day I suffer from random bouts of depression, that seem to come from that time in my life just to say, “Hey remember me, I’m what almost caused you to kill yourself.”
Sure I’ve moved on since then, made new friends, gotten a fiance. But I still remember the time I spent living a completely different and false life. This song reminds me of a time gone by, a time in which I would go to the area of MapleStory in which this played, and just sit there listening to this song to make me feel better.
I’m always tempted to return to that false life to escape this one. But I’m always afraid that once I go back, I’ll never come back. I rarely ever cry, so when I do, it’s serious. Right now I am crying as I write this, crying to try and rid myself of my past. But, I know that that can never happen, I can still hope though.
I just hope that I don’t end up in the same place as last time...

Spoiler

I'm back to listening to that song again, it brings back such good yet bittersweet memories. I'm not sure whether to hate myself for that time in my life or if I should be grateful. I just don't know anymore, it's all so confusing.

Even though I have gotten past that time in my life, part of me still beckons death to come and take me.

I know to most people this will all seem like a joke or a cry for attention or a call out for pity. It's not, unless you have been through what I have you will have no idea how it feels. I don't need any fucking attention and I DON'T WANT YOUR PITY, NOR DO I NEED IT!!!!!!!!

You people can all think of me what you will, but I have lost all faith in humanity. I have just lost the ability to care really, people have shown me that they don't care. The only one who I ever actually felt any real love that wasn't just a facade was from my mother and my fiance. Even then I have to be away from my fiance, in this god awful place, and even when I'm done here; I ship off for the Army a few weeks after that.

FUCK MY LIFE, I CAN'T STAND IT ANY LONGER!!! EVERY MOMENT I LIVE IS LIKE LIVING IN TORTURE!!! WHENEVER SOMETHING GOOD HAPPENS, IT IMMEDIATELY TURNS BAD AND I ALWAYS END UP EXTREMELY HURT!!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY LONGER!!!

Someone please just tell me the constant struggle is worth it...

 

@Sexpy Well, we all have those moments. I'm sure you'll find something you're really passionate about and be able to make a career out of it.

@Spirit Uh man chilling in ellin forest is probably not a good way to help your depression
I mean sunlight is a good thing
Also, you think your life is bad? No one understands? How about you calm down and think about others for a second? Do you really think that everyone else has a perfect life and that they get through life just fine? Jesus Christ, I despise this type of self-loathing. Instead of trying to survive through life and escaping through your meaningless fantasies and roleplay on forums how about you make the most of the world and find a path for yourself?
God damn I need to sleep I'm not a very good person when I'm like this.
And maybe I'm being a little over the top considering this is a negativity thread but I don't know.

 

Actually Doors, you are completely right. I felt that I needed to post that last post, ALL of it, really to help myself move on.

This may sound strange, but I tend to listen to people I've met through the internet more than I do people IRL. I know this is a really bad thing to do and I plan on changing this.

Thank you doors for slapping me in the face telling me to get over myself. I actually feel a lot better now that you have done that. I thank you from the deepest part of my soul. You are a wonderful person and I am glad to have met you.

I am not being sarcastic either, thank you Doors, thank you so much.

P.S. That picture of PROGRESS is my new comp background

 

Holy shit did that actually help you I'm so glad
I kind of hoped you would feel better but I didn't know if it would help or not.
Good to see that you've moved on then!

 

It did actually help, I am in your debt good sir/madam.

It's good to know that there are people like you still out there in the world

 

An odd moment of happeh on the negativity thread. ^_^

 

-additional pointless blanket remark that serves no true purpose-

 

An odd moment of happeh on the negativity thread. ^_^

Right, right. Sorry.

 

I just dropped out of uni. I thought I was passionate about art but apparently not enough to get up and work on it every day.

I really don't know where my life is headed right now.

Maybe you need to be surrounded by friends who challenge and encourage you and are passionate about art.

Unfortunately my uni experience involved auditoriums full of strangers who had their laptops open to games, people talking back/making fun of the professor, and having professors with very difficult to understand accents. Needless to say, I wasn't very into the classes.

You've got time to figure out what you want to do though, do as much as you can

 

god damn calibar how old /are/ you