The Wish-Granting Game

Nothing to grant. Cool.

I wish I wasn't allergic to cats anymore.

Granted. Cat's are allergic to YOU.

I wish my brother has a happy 28 birthday.

 

Your brother does have a happy 28th birthday, and is mauled by a lion the next day.

I wish I was made of lightning.

 

Granted, you are made of lightning... And cease to exist in the next instant just like lightning.

I wish the cashier at my job would stop flirting with me.

 

Wish granted. You realize that you were only imagining that she was flirting with you. To make sure this doesn't happen again, I have donated your ego to charity.

I wish I was a dinosaur soldier.

 

Granted. But you eat an avacado and become avacado soldier.

I wish I had a G&T.

 

Wish granted. You'll study Geometry & Trigonometry 24/7 for the rest of your life

Nothing to wiish for... oh, I know

I wish I could be a retarded

Retarded is really badass.

 

Granted. You are a retard that thinks he's really badass, provided his definition of "badass" is fairly clear. You are eventually shot and killed by a man robbing a convenience store because you think you're a badass and try to stop him.

I was I was dinosaur soldier again. And for every weapon.

 

Granted. You are a retard that thinks he's really badass, provided his definition of "badass" is fairly clear. You are eventually shot and killed by a man robbing a convenience store because you think you're a badass and try to stop him.

I was I was dinosaur soldier again. And for every weapon.

No wish? People, you gotta wish! Ughhh... okay, me again...

I wish, I wish I was a fish

Pick your poison

 

Granted, you are now the most sought after fish in the entire world. You eventually die of stress from evading so many fishermen, and watching your kin be hauled away.

I wish this wish made another wish work. Mainly mine.

 

I wish this wish made another wish work. Mainly mine.

Granted. Fire1052 is a dinosaur soldier with every weapon.

I wish that the wish from post #539 was never asked, let alone granted.

 

What? That way it's not funny anymore! Because of you this thread might die sooner. Okay, I finally grant you a soul and you don't get to go to hell. Happy? I'm not.

I wish to be successful with ladies

Besides, I didn't ask for nothing in that post. So, your wish was granted from the start.

Pick your poison

 

Granted. You are successful with female rodents. You sick man.

I wish to not vomit.

 

Granted. You will not vomit but you won't be able to poop, nor to pee. So, after some time your body explodes like a cannon of blood and guts, and pee, and all the stuff...

I wish to be a death scythe (Soul Eater reference)

 

Granted, however, being an inanimate killing machine strips you of your sanity, and you turn on your partner.

I wish I could create what I wanted with my mind.

 

Granted, however, you also have intense ADHD, so you can't focus on the thing you really want to make and instead make something completely different.

I wish to have a third arm to multitask with.

 

Granted. It is four inches long and grows out of your foot.
I wish to be the very best, like no one ever was.

 

Granted, you will be the best at falling down stairs, like no one ever was.

I wish to get the best grades in my school.

 

Granted, but since everybody gets F's you get F+.

(Scuse me if I get this wrong, I'm not from the USA)

I wish that catchig them is my real test, to trian them is my cause.

 

Granted. Unfortunately, "catchig" and "trian" are not nearly as badass as their "catching" and "train" counterparts.

I wish to win the 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee.

 

Granted. However, no one signs up and you misspell every word on public tv, they have no choice but to give you 1st place.

I wish to be the fastest runner in the world.