The Wish-Granting Game

Granted. Ryuuoutan has to get good grades for you to get into a university.

I wish for rape.

 

Granted. You are raped in prison.

I wish Fabulous would be let out of prison.

 

Granted. I immediately go to your house and rape you.

I wish you weren't so rapeable.

 

Granted. Wedge sprouts 18-inch metal spikes... In the midst of you raping him.

I wish I had a nickle for every time I've heard "That's what he said!" in my life.

 

You get 152 European woodpeckers. I dunno what you'll do with those.

I wish I had more woodpeckers than DragonBoots.

 

Granted. They peck your brains out, you bird nut, you.

I wish China would be abducted by aliens.

 

Granted. They are alien woodpeckers that eventually invade your country and peck your brains out.

I wish that I could grant and put into effect any amount of wishes for any person or creature, including myself.

 

I wish China would be abducted by aliens.

Granted. They peck your eyes out.

HAHAHA!
nennyways, andwhy can grant wishes, as long as they involve both hot females and starcraft II.

 

Lace, is your wish for Kerrigan to be real?

If so, GRANTED.

N. E. waise, I wish for a jar of disease-free human blood.

 

sure, but it's areally, really, really little jar.

I wish for a hot girl to appear to my right side with only the best intentions.

 

Her intentions are to give you fresh-baked cookies, since meaningless sex at your age will corrupt you forever.

I wish for a hot girl to appear to my left side with the intention of having intercourse with me.

 

I always wanted a plate of cookies.

The hot girl to your left side having intercourse with you is your sister.
perv.


I wish for a plate of cookies.

 

Granted. But it's whyme.

I wish Captain would come back to IRC 'cause Ryetune is b&.

 

haha boots.

NEW8S, cap goez bak 2 de ERKH, just in Tiem 4 u 2 leeve!
lolololol!
pwnt!!!!!

 

The hot girl to your left side having intercourse with you is your sister.

That's pretty great, considering I just found my long-lost sister, although having sex with her is almost a downside.

Granted. But it's whyme.

Don't be silly, hot girls don't spend all day on the computer.

Anyway, wish granted, but it's only for 19.2 seconds.

I wish you'd ACTUALLY ban Ricearoni for good.

 

I did.

Wish I'd remember to make a wish and supply a satisfactory response.

 

I wish I had granted your wish.

 

That was a woeful attempt at a paradox, man. You granted my wish.

I wish my dumb elimination game thread would be at five stars instead of four.

 

Granted, but your elimination thread is still incredibly dumb.

I wish I had more hairs.

 

You have a thousand hairs growing from an unfortunat mole on your left bottock now.

also, you fail at granting wishes, as you didn't raise that thread above four stars.

I wish that the xkcd guy would become my best friend.