The Wish-Granting Game

Granted, it's full of bugs and glitches and horrible spelling and has one fatal error in the TSC that causes the game to be unwinnable.

I wish I had more jerky.

 

Granted. It's whyme jerky and gives you AIDS.

I wish I knew why my site sounded so good. Link to what I mean~

 

it sounds awesome cuz it is awesome

I wish nameisnotname had a better sense of humor (no offense man)

 

Granted. He now has my sense of humor.

I wish Lace would give me an update. Granted by a coincidence. |P

I wish Wedge of Cheese would bring me some good news.

 

Granted. The good news is that some time there is in fact a small chance that some time within the next year I might have some free time which I might use for working on the music for your mod.

I wish to be the guy.

 

you are now the guy, and then realize that you did not, actually, want to be the guy, because it has resulted in you dying far to many times.

I wish somebody would tell me three reasons slavery persisted in america in the antebellum period

 

Granted. Chuck Norris shows up at your house and tells you three such reasons just before killing you.

I wish Chuck Norris actually were a history expert.

 

okay, he is. unfortunately, he got this information by tentacle raping your mind. you now have no maths skill, and can never find the xkcd website ever again.

I wish that whoever grants this wish will tell me one reason (that is not economy or racism) slavery persisted in america during the antebellum period.

 

Granted. The reason was t-shirts.

I wish my t-shirt was highly offensive.

 

Granted. Whatever people read on it insults them deeply. They all kill you.

I wish I had a wish that meant something.

 

Granted. Your wish means the world to a seagull that promptly gets sucked into a jet engine.

I wish the second law of thermodynamics applied to cancer.

(2nd law is: Entropy cannot decrease with time, only increase)

 

Granted. Now every living creature suffers from the same amount of cancer per cubic meter of their body.

I wish to gain and lose absolutely nothing.

 

You gain and lose absolutely nothing; nothing happens.

I wish for a key lime rubber bouncy ball 9 centimeters in diameter to suddenly appear at the coordinates 41° 54' 39" N / 12° 27' 7" E, on earth, and then disappear exactly 92 seconds later.

 

Granted. The ball disappears in an explosion large enough to take out the nearby state of Vatican. The investigators discover a small metal box, which ultimately leads them to you. Oh, and you'll live for all the 927 years of prison you get for, y'know, killing the Pope and all that.

I wish I had a rubber ball.

 

Granted, it's so bouncy it bounced away.

I wish I had more compelling answers to others' wishes.

 

Granted. You're enrolled in wish-granted school for the next quadrillion years.

I wish Captain Fabulous's nazi halo would save him this time.

 

Granted. He figures out how to use it to save him from any possible danger in the world, and uses this newfound ability to take over the world and become this dickwad tyrant.

I wish I knew what you were talking about.

 

Granted.


Song is punishment enough.

I wish I could watch YouTube videos.

 

Granted, but they take so long to load that you give up anyway, and throw your keyboard into the screen.

I wish I hadn't missed a lot of wishes.

 

Granted, but they take so long to load that you give up anyway, and throw your keyboard into the screen.

I wish I hadn't missed a lot of wishes.

I'm at that point anyway. >:[

Ang granted. You are now forced to read all previous posts, and commit them to memory.

I wish I were an Oscar Meyer wiener.