The Wish-Granting Game

Granted. She does appear clean and non-violent, but in reality she has herpes and a sawed off shotgun in her boot.

I wish Billy Mays was still alive.

 

Granted. He knocks you out with OrangeGlo, corrodes your skull with OxyClean and then cleans the mess up with Zorbeez.

I wish for OrangeCleanbeez.

 

Granted. You are now in possession of a damp towel covered in detergent powder.

I wish for a spaceship.

 

Granted, the ship explodes in flight.

I wish I was better at vidjimagames.

 

Granted, at the expense of the possibility of you ever having a social life.

I wish I owned a swimming pool filled with gelatin.

 

Granted, but the ghosts of the deceased pigs haunt you and you kill yourself.


I wish I could create bombs, that don't harm me.

 

I wish I could create bombs, that don't harm me.

Granted. You blew up the world and died from oxygen deprivation.

I wish that the next person would make his wish without getting of

 

Granted, your English teacher shoots you in the head for not using a period.

I wish I didn't make this wish.

 

I wish I didn't make this wish.

granted, but your ability to speak has been taken away so you can't make another wish.

i wish for this wish to not be granted

 

granted, but your ability to speak has been taken away so you can't make another wish.

i wish for this wish to not be granted

Alright, I'll make sure no one grants it!

I wish Ryu would stay on topic.

 

Granted. You catch the attention of JacobX891 and he rapes you.

I wish I could have some brain bleach.

*eyeroll*

Lukybory? :]

 

I wish for nobody to flame or troll Ryuuoutan.

(flame/troll me instead)

 

I wasn't flaming or trolling anyone nor do I intend to. So for my part your wish is granted (though I dunno about everyone else).

I wish certain people could tell the difference between flaming/trolling and constructive criticism.

 

Granted. We educated them about being nice, but they got bored and went back to being mean.

I wish that the connections to a certain server (this one) would not suck so much at certain times (like right now).

 

Granted. They now suck all of the time.

I wish this crazy looking person who just walked up to me and who I don't know would point that gun somewhere other than at my face.

 

Granted. The crazy person points it at your genitals.

I wish for some cool mods to play.

 

Granted. The crazy person points it at your genitals.

Somehow I guessed you would say that...

I wish for some cool mods to play.

Granted. One of the MiraiGamer admins makes me a moderator (so I'm now a "cool mod"). You "play" me, but you're so heartbroken when I leave you that you kill yourself.

I wish I had realized that you said "cool mods" (plural) before I had typed that response.

 

Granted. But by doing so, you have used "cool mods" in your response, so you didn't wish to have realized it before, so I couldn't have possibly granted your wish, so you haven't used "cool mods" in your response, so you wished to have realized it before, so I granted your wish, so you have used "cool mods" in your response, so you didn't wish to have realized it before, so I couldn't have possibly granted your wish, so you haven't used "cool mods" in your response, so you wished to have realized it before, so I granted your wish, so you have used "cool mods" in your response, so you didn't wish to have realized it before, so I couldn't have possibly granted your wish, so you haven't used "cool mods" in your response, so you wished to have realized it before, so I granted your wish, so you have used "cool mods" in your response...

I wish paradoxes were less confusing and more fun.

 

Granted. Unfortunately, in becoming more fun, they also become actually able to end the world, which is exactly what they do.

I wish for bullets.

 

Granted. You obtain some explosive ammo and get arrested and imprisoned accordingly. The jail you get sent to confirms all the prison myths to be true.

I wish we lived in a 6-dimensional universe.