The Wish-Granting Game

Granted. Your reason to go to bed is a cheap whore who gives you AIDS.

I wish my previous post hadn't been ignored.

 

Granted. Your post has caused a massive flamewar that eventually shut down the entire forum.

I wish I could foward or back travel in time without causing paradoxes.

 

Granted, but you are killed by dinosaurs.

I wish I was better at art.

 

You create many beautiful pictures for the internet and make hundreds of dollars, but you're audited and it's discovered that you pirated your version of Fireworks. Adoe sues you for $56 000.

I wish the barrel roll meme was no longer considered funny by anyone anywhere.

 

Granted, but the memetic power vacuum generated leads to a widespread revival of Chuck Norris jokes.

I wish for a pestilent fog to spread over someplace fictional.

 

Heaven is now coated with a fog of grasshoppers that eat crops and skin.

I wish they'd make a gritty reboot of Power Rangers.

 

Granted, but it gets bad ratings and goes off the air.

I wish everyone had the same wish as me.

 

Granted. I wish everyone had the same wish as me.

 

Let's go for several pages

Granted.

I wish everyone had the same wish as me.

 

I didn't combo break, but I did break my keyboard...

Granted.

I wish everyone had the same fish as me.

(Also, this is an example of generational degradation. )

 

Re: I didn't combo break, but I did break my keyboard...

Granted, but everyone dies from allergies.


I wish posts here counted.

 

Granted. But they count to your postcount on another forum.

I wish the Olympics were over.

 

Granted, but the next is directly afterwards.


I wish I could eat stuff and gain an ability from it, like Kirby.

 

you eat a sandwich and lose all your abilities.
I wish I could be a sandwich for 30 seconds and return to life unscathed.

 

You are cannibalized as soon as you return to human form, since the deliciousness lingers. Flavor isn't scathing, is it?

I wish for ten pizzas.

 

Granted, but you get attacked by the Ninja Turtles.

I wish I could fly.

 

Poof! On your second flight, after being as fanman - saving lives and giving aid - for a short period, you decided to take a nice high-altitude cruise. And get sucked into a jet engine.

I wish everyone else has had more sex than me.

 

Yeah, I wish that too. Ahem...

Granted. The world erupts in one giant group sex session, which you are forbidden from joining.You suffer from depression and sexual frustration and commit suicide.

I wish I had perfect memory.

 

Granted.
The memories of your own conception and birth traumatize you to the point where you smash your head open with a car door to escape.

I wish I was absolutely perfect in every regard.

 

Granted. You get more nails in your anus.



I wish I had a hat.