Love

I want you all to know this thread is making me die inside
but it's not like I can hold anyone accountable for their 'feelings' so I've just got to sort of accept these things.

Okay that's all I'll rain on your parade for now. Continue on.

 

Whys it making you die inside?

 

Mostly because I believe love is not sexuality, so seeing them lumped together as such kind of makes me sad.

 

Well they do go hand in hand.

I changed the thread title

 

They might go hand and hand, but love shouldn't define sex and vice versa.

You can have sex with a 100 people and not feel a single thing for them, and you can love 100 people and never have sex with them. It doesn't mean the sex was any less without love, or the love was any less without sex.

Now, I am a big sucker for lovely-dovey make most people wanna throw up type of stuff, and I think it is kind of sweet how you wanna please her to show your love for her in a sickening kind of way by which I mean I rather not hear about it. But, there are better ways to show your love than sticking your head between her legs.

You're acting like a horny teenager (Which you are), real love is more mature than just sex related things. Sex with someone you love a lot can be great and wonderful, but you need to stop thinking of it has a super defining point of love (Which is how you're acting).

Sex is a defining point of a relationship, and love is a defining point of a relationship, but they aren't so much defining points of each other like you've been making them out to be.

I guess after you wouldn't shut up about it, I gained a greater appreciation for the mucus and pus that leaks out of your baby hole.

Not like the penis/scrotum is going to go home with any gold medals. Nothin more I hate than a man with hair on his scrotum, that is just sickening.

 

They might go hand and hand, but love shouldn't define sex and vice versa.

You can have sex with a 100 people and not feel a single thing for them, and you can love 100 people and never have sex with them. It doesn't mean the sex was any less without love, or the love was any less without sex.

Now, I am a big sucker for lovely-dovey make most people wanna throw up type of stuff, and I think it is kind of sweet how you wanna please her to show your love for her in a sickening kind of way by which I mean I rather not hear about it. But, there are better ways to show your love than sticking your head between her legs.

You're acting like a horny teenager (Which you are), real love is more mature than just sex related things. Sex with someone you love a lot can be great and wonderful, but you need to stop thinking of it has a super defining point of love (Which is how you're acting).

Sex is a defining point of a relationship, and love is a defining point of a relationship, but they aren't so much defining points of each other like you've been making them out to be.



Not like the penis/scrotum is going to go home with any gold medals. Nothin more I hate than a man with hair on his scrotum, that is just sickening.

^^^
You should listen to my mother. Seriously. Stop being so horny.


Also..I forget...have you even talked to this girl? Are you even acquainted with her? Because this still sounds like a creepy stalker deal.

 

There's something no one's brought up yet, so I guess imma cover that. Yeah love is about the emotional connections you have with them, as well as the physical intimacy you have with them, but the one thing a lot of people forget is that your lover should also be your best friend, or at least a really close one. You have to think to yourself "if this person had absolutely no feeling for me, and I had none for them, would I still be their friend?"
Some people who get bogged down with the concept of sex or with the passionate emotions in a relationship often forget how necessary compatibility is. For example, say it turns out sinophile's love interest is an avid subscriber to white supremacy. It's easy to say "oh it wouldn't matter I'd love her anyway," but in reality, after a few weeks, you'd realize how untrue that was.
Sharing something intellectually is also extremely important. I know it sounds douchey to say "don't be in a relationship with someone if they're dumber than you," but sadly, being significantly less or more intelligent can ruin a relationship after a few months.

Anyway, I could go on for a while, but bottom line is this: even after someone you love agrees to be in a relationship with you, there are still a few hurdles to jump after that. That's why first dates are more like going out with friends, because the goal is to get to know each other better.

 

As for clinginess, Ive talked to a guy from another forum and identified that as a pothole im likely to step in. So I set up a few restrictions for myself. Sure, I can enjoy our time together, but she has to be down with it too. No constant phonecalls and SMSs and stuff (actually I dont have a mobile phone so this isnt a problem :/). I will not commit emotional blackmail and tell her how disraught i'd be if she left me.

Well how are you going to know when it's okay to say something? Do you want to spend your whole time with her guessing and second-guessing what to say and when? I assume you know what this is like, and I have no idea why you think it'll be tolerable.

I wouldn't really mind reading a wall of text, but if it makes you cringe after writing it then whatever.

If I start rambling, I will definitely sound crazy.

Overall, I genuinely don't think your comments apply to me. I thank you for sharing your experience, but I say you should realise im not neccesarily walking down a similar road to you. I think maybe you've been burned by a girl in the past, and you're trying to steer me away from a similar situation. Seriously, thanks for that.

I'm not projecting, I'm just saying that moving on is easier than you think, and it would probably be for the better at this point. Not that you will, but I can always say I told you so.

Im fairly, well, 'monogamous' and I don't have eyes for any other girls at the moment. This isn't really going to change unless she rejects me or we stay in the relationship for so long I start to get sick of her.

Because fuck marriage? I know it's good to think long-term as well, but try to be a little more optimistic about your optimism.
Anyway, I didn't say you should try to meet someone now. I said you will, and... well, why don't you just read what I said.

I don't think she's perfect. Initially I did, but I warned myself not to do this and to keep a realistic image of her.

Perfect enough, mah boi. Perfect enough.

If she wants to remain friends, I'm cool with that. We can enjoy our friendship together until I slowly got over my loss and found a different girl.

No. You aren't cool with that at all. You will not enjoy your friendship until you get over your loss, and that is much harder to do when you're still friends. The friend zone is a ter...
Wait, remain friends? She hardly knows you. Do me a favor: if you aim for a relationship and miss, don't land in the friend zone. Land in the "fuck that, there are other women" zone because it's so much better in this case. "But I'd still be happy to be her friend" you say. Well, can't really say the same for her, can you? A massively asymmetrical friendship is not exactly an upgrade.

If she rejects me I'm not going to let myself get all heartbroken and start whining and listen to "Alice->Dere" on repeat all day. It will be tough but I'll try my best to take responsibility and get over it.

It all sounds straightforward on paper, doesn't it? Why don't you find something else to live for sooner rather than later, to avoid... you know.

Not like the penis/scrotum is going to go home with any gold medals. Nothin more I hate than a man with hair on his scrotum, that is just sickening.

I understand completely and I was not trying to compete with our genitals. However, we can shave that.

 

I was in something with a girl, I'm gonna call it love since I don't know any better.

I could never imagine you being in love lmao. But I guess everything's possible.

Anyways sino I'm gonna use an old lithuanian saying: "Let's be rough but right". Can you fucking write something specific instead of ambiguous emotional terms with no actual objects or events involved? Really you seem like a swell dude but this is getting out of hand. Like that newb Fab said a few pages back "this isnt facebook".

 

I could never imagine you being in love lmao. But I guess everything's possible.

Just 'cause you don't know me very well doesn't mean that's all there is to me.

 

We never quite open up, you know?

 

Some people who get bogged down with the concept of sex or with the passionate emotions in a relationship often forget how necessary compatibility is. For example, say it turns out sinophile's love interest is an avid subscriber to white supremacy. It's easy to say "oh it wouldn't matter I'd love her anyway," but in reality, after a few weeks, you'd realize how untrue that was.

You're saying that if a girl is a perfect match for you, you'd happen to be good friends if there wasn't any sexual attraction involved, yeah?

Also, heh, the second point forms a funny mental image in my head. The girl I like is very kind hearted.


At Captain Fabulous, Ive got a few things to say. First, its pretty easy to know when you're starting to encroach on someone's private time, just don't, yknow, overdo it? Second, I dunno about you but finding a major goal and the motivation to work towards it isn't something I can conjure up from thin air. Third, I've decided to take this risk and im not going to half ass it or withdraw from it. I don't want to give up on this shit just because the going gets tough. I'll see if I can get her, and if I fail THEN I'll consider other girls, and I don't give a fuck how much being rejected might hurt because I took damn responsibility over this risk.

 

Well then, best of luck ruining your damn life.

 

Well then, best of luck ruining your damn life.

Why do you think I am ruining my life?

How old are you?

 

Cult. Bro. I fucking love you.
No homo.

Yes. i forgot to agree with cult, because he brought up an amazing point.



And sinophile, please calm down.

 

And sinophile, please calm down.

He is calm >_>

Anyway, sino, I think what cultr is saying is that a romantic relationship shouldn't be dependent upon sex, though sex can obviously add a lot to a relationship. Basically, suppose the girl you love had some physical disability which prevented her from having sex; would you still love her and want to be with her? If the answer is yes (as I strongly suspect it is), then kudos to you.

 

Kudos to me, I guess.

Hm I wonder what kudos is. Reminds me of a kind of chip brand. So everything someone says 'kudos to you', I imagine them handing an open packet of chips to me.

 

Kudos to me, I guess.

Hm I wonder what kudos is. Reminds me of a kind of chip brand. So everything someone says 'kudos to you', I imagine them handing an open packet of chips to me.

It reminds me of those chocolate covered granola bars.
Mmm. Those were good.

 

Once I used in all seriousness one of Johnny`s pick up lines (I was a jerk and very inexperienced back then lol) to get a girl. With not much success :eek:
Guess which one I used:


Solution:

Spoiler

"You look like the kind of girl who could use two"

 

I think you just won the thread.