My birthday is later this month, and it'll be three years until I'm an adult.
I feel like I'm having an existential crisis.
I still suck at most things, and the only thing I'm good at is music, more specifically chiptune.
I'm going to have to force myself to get off my ass in order to have even a slight chance of being successful when I'm an adult.
But it's not like it's gonna change the fact that I'll probably be even more miserable by then because I'll have to deal with taxes, having a job that I most definitely won't enjoy just so I can get money , bills, not being homeless, and many other things that will leave me with little to no time to do anything I want to do.
It's only going to get worse from here on out, so I'll need to try to get better at shit with the little time I have left.
It's a private special education school made specifically for people on the autism spectrum.
Nonetheless, it's still overwhelming.
The expectation I feel like their putting on me is that when I'm an adult, I'll get an average job somewhere with resumes and all, with average work hours, maybe part time.
However, I want to do something different to make money. Something that I'd actually enjoy.
I'm thinking about maybe doing music commissions since that's something I'm good at, digital chiptune music at least.
But the thing I want to do when I'm an adult is be an indie game developer.
I've had an idea for a Cave Story inspired indie game since 2018, and it's continued to take shape within my mind.
I want to have time to make that game, as well as work on it at my own pace, and having complete freedom, which is why I want to be indie.
The main reason I need to get better at a lot of the things I mentioned in a previous profile post, is to make that game.
I need to make sure it's good. If it sucks, It's over.
If games I made before that game suck, then it wouldn't be as bad, but this game needs to be good.
If people are really enjoying the game, that's what I consider success.
I don't really care about it becoming Undertale levels of popular, and I don't expect it to.
What I consider success is if the majority of people who do end up playing it enjoy it.
It's my dream, I daydream about this game everyday.
Another thing I fear as that I won't be able to make/complete it on top of it ending up sucking.
Now, I'm not going to reveal anything about this game until years from now, until enough of the game has been developed.
I need become more skilled first.
But I swear, when I make this game, I'll do whatever it takes to make this game the best it possibly can be.