The Wish-Granting Game

wish granted. however, due to the lack of an actual wish to grant, i randomly decide to kill your family. have a nice effing day.

i wish Cultr1 had wished.

 

Wish granted. Cultr1's wish was that for every member of his family you kill, you die once. Oh yeah you get to die more than once. And of course you'll still be alive after dying, but the pain of death is still there. Oh and you can't stop yourself from killing his family too.


I wish I could get back into gaming.

 

Granted, you are now a neckbeard living in your parent's basement.

I wish I had 1,000,000 dollars.

 

Granted, but you become a lobbyist.

I wish Fire1052 was Fire.

 

Granted, but he burns down the forums.

I wish my ovaries were made of bacon.

 

Granted. A hungry pitbull rips them out and devours them.

I wish this thread will remain inactive from the time this post is posted until 6 months have elapsed.

 

Granted, but you failed to specify when the 6 month period begins; you only specified when the period of inactivity begins.

I wish my bacon were made of ovaries.

 

Granted, but you have to stare at the sun all the time now to make it work. You end up going blind.

[Edit]:
What page was I looking at?

Granted, but it still is unhealthy for you to eat it.


I wish I could make an AI that could LEARN how to play tetris, and not suck at it.

 

Granted, but your AI frustrates people who try to outdo it so much that they kill you.

I wish I had started my essay draft that's due in a half hour instead of reading through this thread.

 

Granted. You started it. You never finished it, however, due to it and every school supply you own disappearing into an alternate dimension.

I wish for the next person to translate this:

:eek:

 

Granted.

whyme: Heeeeeyyy, sixtysexysec, what are YOU doin' tonight?

sixty: NOT YOU DAMMIT, STOP STALKING ME!!!

whyme: Ha! You gulliable idiot, you actually thought I was interested in you?

ryuuton: Oh, you weren't interested in me? My bad.

everyone: WTF!?!?


I wish thine were that special face; the face which fills my dreaming.

 

Granted. My face haunts your dreams for weeks.

I wish for you to translate THIS:

 

sixtyseconds: NA-NANA-BOO-BOO!! YOU CAN'T GET ME!!

Kanpachi impersonator: Dude, I'm Kanpachi, of course I can get you.

sixtyseconds: Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you at first. I'm actually a really big fan of yours!

*real Kanpachi pile-drives the impersonator into the Earth's core*


I wish every hand would join every hand, and together mold our destiny. That's when we'll be free.

 

Granted, but since everyones hands are joined with anothers and they can't let go, that means they are still imprisoned.

I wish I had covered all my tracks, completely.

 

I would grant it but it means I can't find you, creating an infinite time loop. Whoops.

I wish that I had the perfect sandwich.

 

Granted, however, the heavy weapons guy tackles you and sits on you while he eats it.

I wish juice packets were accepted as a food.

 

Granted, however, the heavy weapons guy tackles you and sits on you while he eats it.

I wish juice packets were accepted as a food.

Wish Granted, but food is no longer legal, as juice packets have replaced them. Enjoy breaking the law/starving.

 

Granted! Space and time have now imploded!

I wish I broke mirrors, instead of promises, 'cause all I see, is a shattered conscience staring right back at me.

 

granted, however your conscience is a mirror, and so you smash it by breaking promises anyway.

i wish i could eat these mini-tacos forever

 

Granted, but you get terrible diarrhea.

I wish everyone would just chill the fuck out. /loltypical