The Wish-Granting Game

Granted, but you freeze.

I wish for a freshly baked cake. Non-poisoned, please.

 

Granted, but you now have cancer.

I wish for an 8 dollar bill.

 

Granted. It's illegal to possess it and after an unfortunately corrupt trial, you are incarcerated (sent to jail) for life (Really 150 years).

I wish for a two dollar bill. (Yes, they exist, at least in the US http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_two-dollar_bill)

 

Granted. Did i mention that the two dollar bill is a mimic.

 

...

I wish obama's face was on the 8 dollar bill.

 

Granted, but only one is made.
I wish for a story.

 

Granted, it was read to you by a hungry polar bear.

I wish for a rocket launcher.

 

Granted. It gets clogged and literally blows up in your face.

I wish for a rocket.

 

Granted, it blows up.

I wish for illogical answers.

 

Granted. But because the dinosaur in your basement ate peanut butter, your nose fell off.

I wish for logical answers.

 

Granted, the sheer weight of such knowledge blows your head away.

I wish for my life to have a commentary.

 

Granted but it is turned into a comedy. You die of misery.

I wish for a banana phone. I currently have that crappy song stuck in my head. Wait why am I wishing for a banana phone? Oh well...

 

Granted, it never stops ringing and drives you insane.

I wish for a portal gun.

 

Granted, but you accidentally shoot one of the portals into a black hole and you suck up the earth and you die. Plus you have cancer.

I wish I knew how to program.

 

cancer

Please imagine me punching you in the brain right now. If it helps, ask a friend or enemy to assist with a physical demonstration.

 

Granted, you can now program your VHS.

I wish for a library with all the top 500 best movies in history, in DVD format and a fully functional DVD player.

 

Granted, you can now program your VHS.

I wish for a library with all the top 500 best movies in history, in DVD format and a fully functional DVD player.

Granted. However, all the DVDs are cracked into multiple pieces.

I wish I knew what I wanted to wish for.

 

granted you now wish for a painful and slow death.

I wish i didn't have a thing for well drawn gloved toon babes.

 

Granted. But you now have a thing for well drawn gloved toon guys.

I wish the person who grants this wish dies.

 

Granted, I die of cancer.

I wish for Cave Story 4DS