The Wish-Granting Game

granted enjoy your moldy cheese(not mold cheese.)

I wish for a better Internet connection speed

 

Granted, But at that moment your ISP goes bankrupt and closes down.

I Wish for a fried egg

 

Granted, they get stuck on teh ceiling and fall on yoru face, crutally scarring you.
You have no face.

I wish I could fire mah laaazoooooooor.

 

Granted, but it's into a mirror and you kill yourself.

I wish to be able to make this facial expression:

 

Granted, but your jaw breaks because of the extensive strain.

I wish for a chat.

 

grated but the one you chat with is a complete loon so after 5 lines of chatter your spirit was broken and you kill yourself.

I wish for immorality

 

Granted. You realize that immorality is actually

immorality [ˌɪməˈrælɪtɪ]
n pl -ties
1. the quality, character, or state of being immoral
2. immoral behaviour, esp in sexual matters; licentiousness; profligacy or promiscuity
3. an immoral act

I wish for freedom.

 

Granted, but the price is that a person dies for each day of your iternal life.

I wish for love.

EDIT: I WAS LATE FUCK.

Wish granted. You are free. Finally.

 

Granted, but love killed you by drilling through your heart.

I wish for Freddie Mercury to RISE FROM HIS GRAVE.

 

Granted. You of course realize that he is a zombie and kills you.

I wish for a printer that worked.

 

Granted, It does nothing but print pictures of Ronald reagan

I wish I was A Wish

 

Granted. Now I will use you.

I wish for happiness.

 

Granted, but you end up laughing yourself to death.

I wish for batman to exist outside of fiction.

 

granted but you now are the joker and unlike the fictional one he had no trouble killing you.

I wish for toon character to walk in the real world.

 

Granted. This should go without saying by now but, you of course realize that he kills you.

I wish for a glass of water.

 

Granted, but before you could drink it you tripped and spilled it onto a pot of magic beans. They grow fast and you get tangled in the vines. So when they are done growing, you are trapped so high up that you die trough lack of oxygen.

I wishh I culd speel beetr.

 

*face palms* not this wish again.

Granted, boot dis meenz everiwon speels wurs.

I wish for the sun to have a boxing match with the moon.
And the moon wins by a knockout.

 

Granted. The sun crushes you.

I wish that I was a better musician.

 

Done, you're still not very good though.

I wish for chocolate rain.

 

Granted. You drown in it.

I wish for snow.