The Wish-Granting Game

Not granted. Stop invading countries you fucks, then you might have your wish granted.

I wish to chill and relax for the rest of my life.

 

Granted. You chill and relax for the rest of your life. All 10 seconds of it.

I wish for a gia-OH FUCK WHAT IN GOD'S NAME IS THAT!?!?

 

Pssht, get a load of this guy, he didn't even make a wish! What a dumbass...

I wish Sibelius would stop crashing.

 

Not granted because I have no idea what that is.

I wish I could do it.

 

Granted, you do it with a deformed toeless hobo.

I wish for popularity.

 

Not granted because you must earn popularity

I wish i could stop time

 

granted, you freeze with everyone else.


I wish to make the next nyamcat.

 

not granted it's already been done by the sheer speed of the interwebs

I wish i could move through time at will

 

Granted, you travel to the past and cause a paradox and destroy all matter and space.

I wish I am a voice actor for My Little Pony

 

Granted; you transform into a real pony. The producers can't deal with a real horse so you're fired. Now you're a pink horse with no place to live. Fuck.

I wish to have Cave Story 3DS early.

 

Granted, but that doesn't mean it actually gets -finished- before you get it. The copy you got early is incomplete.

I wish for a bracelet that turns its wearer into a mimiga when equipped.

 

Granted. However since you are now a Mimiga a furry finds you and rapes you (from behind).

I wish for $20.

 

Granted, but you don't get to turn back when you take it off.Granted, your parents die, and, in their will, they only left you $20

I wish for Mystic Robes.

 

Wait, those are bad outcomes of the wish?

Granted. They're +5 Robes of Frost Protection. They offer that bonus because they violently combust whenever you put them on, inflicting you with agonizing 3rd degree burns.

I wish I could run off two hours of sleep without feeling sleep deprived.

 

granted but just for one night.

i wish the playstation store came back up so i could take advantage of the free 30 day playstation plus subscription and get infamouis and little big planet as part of the welcome back program.

 

Wish not granted due to horrible grammar and my general dislike of anything Playstation.

I wish I was a 20th level wizard a la Dungeons and Dragons 3.5 Edition

 

Granted, but your base attribute stats are solid 8's, and you completely lack both equipment and money.

I wish my old D&D group didn't fall apart after, like, five or six meetings. Seriously, I was gonna DM the next time we met, and I spent hours setting up a campaign...

 

Not granted because there's a thousand and one others (in fact, i'm trying to get something going between me and a couple friends. I just grabbed a dicebot for IRC last night so we can use that. Also, solid base 8's are invalid stats btw.)

I wish for one hundred million tons of gold to be buried under my house, but no one but me can find it or even knows it exists

 

Granted, but since nobody else knows it exists, you can't gain anything from it. You just go to sell or trade it to someone and they can't even tell you're holding anything.

I wish my dog would shut up.

 

Granted. He shuts up because he's dead.

I wish for perfect control over the undead