The Wish-Granting Game

Granted, the peas are concious while you are eating them, and scream horrible things about you and your family while you eat them. You are haunted and depressed for the rest of your life, which is a week, because you are found dead, apparently, you choked on some peas.

I wish for a life.

 

You'll need more than 1 if you want to beat the game, though.


I wish to beat Satan at the end of the game.

 

Granted, but the fact that you encountered Satan at all implies that you died and went to Hell.

I wish I could encounter Satan without dying or going to Hell.

 

Granted. You meet Satan at the end of the game.

Good luck beating him though, he is a tough bastard.


I wish I could play some puyo puyo now.

 

Granted. But then your hydro gets cut.

I wish for pretzels.

 

wish granted, but they're too salty to eat.

i wish sugar

 

Granted. Diabetes.

I wish to go to Canada

 

Granted. You go to Yellowknife.

I wish I wasn't lying when I said "I am going to bed right now"

 

(Is that the place you live? Or that place you told me with the Natives in eastbumfuck nowhere?)

Granted. You sleep foreverr

I wish I wouldn't have to deal with the butt-baby of Carrot-top and Shrek

 

Granted. You don't have to deal with it, but you still have to cut the deck for the dealer.

I wish for diamonds to be trump.

 

Granted, but you are DEALT NO DIAMONDS! (what are you playing, anyways?)

I wish dogma.

 

Not granted.

I wish everyone on these forums suddenly got 6pack abs.

 

Granted, to deal with such a massive distortion in the universe, everything that wasn't fat is now fat.

I wish The Game hadn't made me lose.

 

wish not granted because by wishing for it, you must lose The Game again.

I wish i were less bored

 

Granted. Being chased by a raptor may be many bad things, but boring, it is not.

I wish that I won't acquire Randall Munroe's unhealthy obsession with raptors.

 

wish granted, instead you're obsessed with Tyrannosaurs Rexs. have fun with that.

i wish stuff.

 

Your wish grant.

You weren't very specific so I replaced all your stuff with chinfish that want to kill you.


I wish for everyone on these forums to get mauled by a chinfish.

 

Granted. You're first.

I wish for inspiration

 

Granted. You become CEO of a company you've never heard of and know nothing about, and you fail so horribly that the shareholders all come and rape you in the ass. Then again, knowing you, that might not be a bad thing .

I wish to take you to a GAY BAR!

 

not granted, i was already there.

i wish everyone in the world was bisexual