The Wish-Granting Game

Granted. it now makes 0.0000000000000000000000000000001 percent more sense.

I wish for Minecraft. This minecraft; http://minecraft.net/

 

Granted, however, the game broke 'cause you looked at it, and all the Minecraft fans, (including me) kill you.

I wish I had infinite lives.

 

Granted. Is that a chainsaw in you?

I wish for Lavacraft to work.

 

granted!
too bad i don't know what that is so i just gave you lava in your house.
have fun with that.

i wish l4d2 bots weren't so damn retarded

 

Granted, in thier place, is you. Enjoy being the retard now.

I wish I had L4D2.

 

Granted!
But your computer broke because of all those other games you downloaded, stop caring about, and forgot to uninstall... And Ellis steals all your crap before it broke.
Congrats!

I wish I had something better to do than granting wishes.

 

Granted!
But your computer broke because of all those other games you downloaded, stop caring about, and forgot to uninstall... And Ellis steals all your crap before it broke.
Congrats!

I wish I had something better to do than granting wishes.

WTF?
I stole all his crap?
anyway, Granted.
You fall off of a cliff and die.

I wish for Merlinoboy to stop making alternate accounts for just a damn week and realize he can come back when he's more mature.

 

Granted. There was like a two-week delay between Parent with Power and Take 2, so your wish had already been granted.

I wish I didn't have so much fun all of the time.

 

Granted!
All the bugs were fixed and failure isn't a possible option!
Enjoy the new "fun" gameplay.

I wish I could be a zombie!

And Ellis from l4d2 in-game is what I meant.

 

If this was granted it would cause a TIME PARADOX
...
...

And merlinoboy was unbanned..
oops.

I wish for something small that couldn't cause any harm... Like a mouse.

 

You get a completely harmless, small pile of shit. In your lap.

I wish my hair shot lasers.

 

Granted!
You shot yourself in the face.
Ouch!

I wish I knew the cure for zombiism.

 

You now know exactly how to become a normal human being again, but it requires you to stand up and use both hands.

I wish I could make a boulder so heavy God could not lift it.

 

You did. God couldn't lift it no matter how hard he tried.

I wish all the gravity in the universe would suddenly reverse.

 

(dammit)
granted!
Here you go... oops, accidentally dropped it on you... And it's also too heavy for you, just so you know.

I wish I had limbs so I can do the cure... And didn't have zombie cancer.

And for wooden rat: granted!
Too bad my magic is limited to the people who made the wish now that I'm a weak zombie genie.

 

You did. God couldn't lift it no matter how hard he tried.

I wish all the gravity in the universe would suddenly reverse.

But... that's what I wished for. Thanks, I guess.
Anyway, your wish is granted. All the planets disintegrate and eventually the whole universe is filled with a fine, even dust. Everyone gets the sniffles.

I wish I had limbs so I can do the cure... And didn't have zombie cancer..

You now have 9010 limbs and Parkinson's disease. But not zombie cancer.

I wish I had a sandwich made of carcinogens.

 

I grant this, if you have cancer.

I wish for the Matrix.

 

Granted, you get the matrix on the PC.

I wish I had a PS3.

 

i would grant this wish if i wanted to, and then add negative cnequences, but if the matrix existed without leo, it would cause a TIME PARADOX
so i'll just give you my zombie cancer :eek:

i wish for a cure for all these 9006 other limbs and that parkinsons disease... also wouldn't zombie cancer be the reason for zombiism?

 

Granted. Unfortunately, you are trapped in purgatory until you correctly calculate the determinant of the matrix in question, which is a 1337x1337 matrix, and you have to do it using pencil and paper and your mind only; no calculators or computers.

I wish I could instantaneously correctly calculate the determinant of any 1337x1337 matrix in my head.

EDIT: oh damn I'm stupid. I completely missed the last two posts.