The Wish-Granting Game

This reference has about everything you'd need to know.

Well not really I guess it needs numbers but it's a start.

I wish nobody ever asked me for a refund/price correction on something where the difference is less than a dollar.

 

Granted. people die.

I wish people would make a clever refrance to the game company Valve, maker of Half Life 2 and Left 4 Dead.

 

Granted. They tell you the cake you're eating is a lie. Too bad they weren't lying...

I wish I was as bad*&# as Kanpachi.

 

Granted. Your body can not handle such large amounts of badass and you explode, killing everything in a 3-mile radius.

I wish I wasn't caught in the blast.

 

Granted but you see the epic explosion and, not being able to handle its epicness, die anyway.

I wish.

 

I grant.

I wish that the Queen of England would come to my house to serve me a cup of tea, and also that neither of us die during the process or as a result thereof.

 

Granted. You both die after the process because Balrog falls and crushes you.

I wish I was Quote from Cave Story.

 

Granted. You spawn in the Sacred Grounds without a jetpack. Good luck.

I wish I was a mimiga for a day!

 

Granted. You meet a killer robot. It doesn't end well for you.

I wish I had the Booster V2.0

 

Granted, but I... really don't know how to turn it on.

I wish for a Sandvich that did not hurt me, anywone else, of give me a diseise of any kind.

 

Granted. It gives you a disease. Specifically, bone cancer.

I wish my ex girlfriend would stop stalking me and get a life. >[

 

Granted. She just died...in the most painful way.

I wish I was a fish.

 

Granted.
Have fun.


I wish i had a Sandvich, and that it would not result in pain or death of any kind to me. or disease.

 

Granted. The sandvich itself is made from nothing but disease, but is wrapped and clearly marked "do not eat," as to avoid diseasing those who come in contact. It is not inherently disease-causing, though disease-ridden.

I wish for the powers of telekinesis.

 

Granted. Using them causes your penis to shrivel.

I wish I wasn't sick.

 

Granted. You die.

I wish I had the power to create hats of all kinds, but with no physical or mental repercussions directed at myself.

 

Granted. But forming matter out of nowhere forms such intense amounts of energy, that the universe collapses.

I wish this wish wouldn't be granted.

 

It is not. Unfortunately, due to a few circumstances, it is. In reality, it is in the process of being granted yet never began and will never finish. It is neither granted nor the opposite.

I wish for a normal box of Nilla Wafers.

 

Granted. They are cancer-flavored.

I wish for everything in existence to be moved two inches to the left.

 

Everything in the universe moves exactly two inches to the left relative to their own observation, causing celestial bodies to collapse in on themselves, and people to clip through each other. You just happen to be making a sharp left turn at the time and your dick is at a slightly different angle than the rest of you, therefore moving to its left, a different left than yours.

I wish this wish would wish this wish to wish that wish this wish wish wish wish wish wish wish wish wish wish wish wish wish .............