The Wish-Granting Game

He is. While he is standing behind you attempting to kill you.

THAT MEANS YOU DIE TOO

I wish I was able to see through girls' clothing.

 

Granted.

He survived

I wish that I had an in real life Polar Star from Cave Story

 

He is. While he is standing behind you attempting to kill you.

THAT MEANS YOU DIE TOO

I wish I was able to see through girls' clothing.

Granted. Your X-Ray vision causes acute skin cancer following 1/1000th of a second exposure.

Granted.

He survived

I wish that I had an in real life Polar Star from Cave Story

Granted. It's the one from Pants Story, though.

I wish I had a burger.

 

Granted. No other complications.
It's a punishment in itself.

I wish for Jacob to come back. and annoy Dragonboots. and that he won't harm me, and that I won't get cancer, or any other reprecussions that shall end up harming me or my mother.
And that you won't sex-change my father and make jokes like that.

 

Granted. Except you failed to realize Jacob and I are the best of friends. That, and you're arrested on charges of software piracy and locked up safe and sound in an 8 x 10 cell for 15 years. The second thing is unrelated.

I wish more people played TA.

 

Granted, when you cant tell me what that stand for. Oh, and I'm not posting in this thread for a LONG, LONG time.Its getting boring. (or at least not until two days from now, I have to go to an amusement park for my sister's birthday.)

 

Arrogant Newb...

I wish more people played TA.

Granted, but the IP trick you learned backfires, and now you're back to square one with crappy WarZone...

I wish less newbs/noobs played Starcraft.

 

Granted. You can now speak Korean.

I wish people would realise that Starcraft was based off of WH40K, and play that (or DOW) instead.(or at least aknowledge taht fact.)
Oh, and that refrence I made earlier? It's from I Have No Mouth, And I must Scream.

 

Don't play the game if you're going to play badly...

Granted, but after Games Workshop successfully sues Blizzard to hell, millions of mostly-Korean fanboys murder you in your sleep. {Me, included}
{Before anyone tries anything more about this, both games are not unique in their races, they've admit so themselves. Neither of them could have ripped off the other if they copied off other things in the first place}

I wish certain people would start making real wishes... for a Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster‎. {And no "Granted, but I don't know what it is." answers. Let me Google it for you}

 

Granted. It's currently located in a small, isolated pocket of instant-horrific-death high above the Sea of Serenity (moon location, for those who don't know).

I wish StarCraft: Ghost was uncancelled.

@Lowell: It's not a trick, it's the proper way to do things. Declaring your IP as the 'host' IP which others can connect to. The part that fails is when trying to use the 'Search' option, which sets it to (if you're behind a router like myself) your internal LAN IP. Or so I've discovered. Noxid and I have had several games in this manner. Also, WarZone isn't crappy - it gives good, stable connections and stuff, and in a lot of ways is like BNet. The part that sucks is that most modern routers and firewalls can't open suffecient ports or block them all together, respectively, to use WarZone - It requires about 1000 ports, where as TA itself only requires 2 per player you're playing with (inbound and outbound).

tl;dr: It works.

 

Nonsensical Title

Granted.
It's simply put on "indefinite hold"

I wish the cake wasn't a lie...

Spoiler

@Lowell: It's not a trick, it's the proper way to do things. Declaring your IP as the 'host' IP which others can connect to. The part that fails is when trying to use the 'Search' option, which sets it to (if you're behind a router like myself) your internal LAN IP. Or so I've discovered. Noxid and I have had several games in this manner. Also, WarZone isn't crappy - it gives good, stable connections and stuff, and in a lot of ways is like BNet. The part that sucks is that most modern routers and firewalls can't open suffecient ports or block them all together, respectively, to use WarZone - It requires about 1000 ports, where as TA itself only requires 2 per player you're playing with (inbound and outbound).

tl;dr: It works.

I wasn't saying it didn't, but the wish had to have some backfire to it, right?
Plus, I never got WarZone to fully work in the first place...

 

Re: Nonsensical Title

Granted.
It's simply put on "indefinite hold"

I wish the cake wasn't a lie...

Spoiler

I wasn't saying it didn't, but the wish had to have some backfire to it, right?
Plus, I never got WarZone to fully work in the first place...

Spoiler

I guess.
But you coulda just spawned moar n00bs.

Granted. The cake is the only truth. Your existance is a lie.

I wish Blizzard would buy out Gaspowered Games and re-make Supreme Commander so it doen't suck as much.

 

Granted. It sucks infintesmally less.

I wish I could go to sleep whenever I wanted to.

 

Okay, you can go to sleep whenever you want to, but you can't wake up and you keep having nightmares. (WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! MOMMEEEEEEE!!!!!)



I wish that there were no jack@$$es...

...like THAT'S possible.

 

Just say jackass.

...Okay, granted.
There are no more donkeys named Jack in the world.

I wish I had three bicycles.

 

Granted. Unfortunately a certain meme involving a certain minority occurs three seperate times.

I wish the UN would outlaw the previously mentioned meme.

 

Granted. Since there's really no way to outlaw a social movement or thought, they simply outlawed the previously mentioned minority and waited for the successive generations to forget about it.

I wish my Steam games would download faster.

 

Granted. They download 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 milliseconds faster.

I wish for pizza.

 

Granted. They download 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 milliseconds faster.

I wish for pizza.

Granted, you get a pizza with no cheese and no tomato sauce.

I wish to be able to soulsteal that loaf of bread without becoming delicious for a week.

 

Granted. All Blizzard staff drop what they are doing and work on it. WoW servers massively go down. About eleven million people try to kill you.
Diablo fans, too.
And yes, the races in Starcraft were based off WH40K. go look it up.
Terrans: Space Marines...
Zerg: Tyranids...
Protoss: T'au.
The storyline, however, was original. I like that, at least.

I wish someone besides me could come up with a very clever Valve refrance.