The Wish-Granting Game

Granted. It was for you to explode. It doesn't end well for you.

I wish I was immune to illness.

 

Granted, when you would have caught an illness, you instead died a very slow, painful death.

I wish a tuna sandwich would appear in front of me for exactly 0.003458934570670436703426723635278523586235890437689043256433268768467246893467423425432566246525423695687635835638564876583765829056298423325453462455254252
seconds.

 

OK.
The sandwich molecules occupy the same space as the air molecules, creating an explosion big enough to vaporize the inner planets and destabilize the Sun's fusion reaction, causing it to go nova.
Then Kanpachi punches you in the balls for being a dolt.
I wish my hands were made of monkeys.

 

Granted, but your spleen explodes from the excitement.

I wish I had penises for limbs.

 

Granted but Kanpachi beats the crap out of you for making that sick and twisted wish, and I beat the crap out of you again for the same reason.

I wish WoodenRat's wish wasn't so twisted.

 

Granted. The forums become a little bit more starchy and boring and you make me sadface.

I wish Audioworm had penises for limbs so he would know not to judge people for their appearance.

 

Granted. I beat the crap out of you, then I get Kanpachi to beat the crap out of you again, then I get Balrog to HUZZAH! you, then I throw you off the edge of the floating island.

I wish I would stop getting inappropriate images stuck in my mind somehow.

 

Granted. Now all the images are appropriate and you can't jack off.

I wish that I had wings. Cool looking ones that actually work.

 

Granted. But the government gets freaked out and starts doing expirements with you.

I wish me, Noxid, and audioworm were all siamese twins.

 

Granted. We get beaten the crap out of by a REALLY burly dog.

I wish I was good at writing stories.

 

Granted, you write stories that... I dunno... somehow lead to you being assassinated..

I wish this thread would never leave page 69.
[edit] damn... nevermind

I wish this thread never LEFT page 69!

 

Granted. We get beaten the crap out of by a REALLY burly dog.

I wish I was good at writing stories.

Granted, the beginning and middles of your stories are imaginative and wonderful, but they ALL HAVE THE SAME ENDING where every time someone gets beat up by something because you are so unimaginative that you cannot think of anything else. (You've used it like 4-5 times now at least)

I wish my wish of "eating cheese" would be granted without the crap being beaten out of me.

[EDIT]: I wish Mr.Fist wouldn't Ninja-post me.

 

Granted, the beginning and middles of your stories are imaginative and wonderful, but they ALL HAVE THE SAME ENDING where every time someone gets beat up by something because you are so unimaginative that you cannot think of anything else. (You've used it like 4-5 times now at least)

I wish my wish of "eating cheese" would be granted without the crap being beaten out of me.

[EDIT]: I wish Mr.Fist wouldn't Ninja-post me.

Granted, Dragonboots does.

I wish GIRakaCHEEZER would type faster.

 

I wish my wish of "eating cheese" would be granted without the crap being beaten out of me.

Granted. The tar is beaten out of you instead.

I wish I was more imaginative.

 

Granted. You get put in an institution. You crazy person.

I wish Jacob wasn't weird.

 

Wish granted. He's head now, good job.

I wish I could bend space.

 

Granted, but you cannot bend time.

I wish I would stop getting annoyed by gnats.

 

Granted, the gnats are annoyed by you.

I wish Soviet Russia wasn't backwards.

 

Granted, but now your country is backwards.

I wish.

 

Granted. You also die.

I wish for ASFFDLDIOCHNCODSSJMONVC.