The Wish-Granting Game

You live through a cliched story which makes you feel loved and needed. Meanwhile, you die from drug overdose.

I wish to invent a machine that will solve all of the mankind's problems without killing anybody.

 

wish granted, everybody turns into dinosaurs.
yay!

I wish for to be able to shapeshift without any negative consequences.

 

Poof!
You are able to shapeshift...
Too bad that you died before you could try it.

I wish for less jews.

 

The only time we get to be assholes to each other on purpose

There, you are now the only Jew on Earth.

I wish for a new continent. {As in, land mass}

 

You are now Lowia, the new continent formed in the Pacific ocean.

I wish to find Atlantis.

 

You have been teleported directly to Atlantis. You can only survive for three minutes without air, and you won't be conscious for all of them.

I wish to have an anvil fall from the sky and crush me.

 

It hits you really hard.
you survive.
unable to move/speak/eat for the rest of your life, while dying a slowly death.
At your funreal, Hobos piss on your grave.

I wish to be real.

 

You take the red pill and wake up.
Unfortunately, this isn't like the Matrix movie, so instead of being helped out of your pod you are liquified and used to nourish the living.

I wish I had more nails in my anus.
Granted.
I wish I had more nails in my anus.
Granted.
I wish I had more nails in my anus.
Granted.
I wish I had more nails in my anus.
Granted.
I wish I had more nails in my anus.
Granted.
I wish I had more nails in my anus.
Granted.
I wish I had more nails in my anus.
Granted.
I wish I had more nails in my anus.
Granted.
I wish I had more nails in my anus.
Granted.
I wish I had more nails in my anus.
Granted.
I wish I had more nails in my anus.
Granted.
I wish I had more nails in my anus.
Granted.
I wish I had more nails in my anus.
Granted.
I wish I had more nails in my anus.
Granted.
I wish I had more nails in my anus.
Granted.
I wish I had more nails in my anus.
Granted.
I wish I had more nails in my anus.
Granted.
I wish I had more nails in my anus.
Granted.
I wish I had more nails in my anus.
Granted.
I wish I had more nails in my anus.
Granted.

I wish I had Donald Trumps hair.

 

Granted.
Your cock got a new haircut.

I wish to be the Matrix.

 

Poof!
Granted.
Then some jerk in a flowy trenchcoat comes along and ruins you.

I wish I was a girl. ;D

 

I fail at this one.
It's breaking me.

 

Wish granted!

I wish I had the eye of the tiger.

 

You're wish is granted, but the tiger killed you because it was pissed that his eye was taken.


Now then...

I wish for all of you to release all of you're hatred upon me. Say your true feelings about me. Insult me, degrade me, emotionally scar me.

Do this well enough and I will grant all of your one true desire...

For me to leave the forums...

...I'm dead serious.

Now go.

 

wish granted. nobody feels feeling of hatred towards you and nobody scars you emotionally and you get upset that everybody likes you and you kill yourself.


I actually don't mind you too much, you're just a tad morbid sometimes.

You become the God of Hangovers. Enjoy your immortality suffering from eternal headache and vomiting. (Bonus points to whoever spots the reference.)

haha hogfather.
what an excellent book.

I wish I was the hogfather.

 

I wish I was the hogfather.

Wish granted! Now every hog in the world believes you f*cked his or her mommy.

I wish I wielded the A.S.H.P.D. and knew how to operate it, and I could make it appear into my hands at any given moment.

(Props if you know what the ASHPD is...)

 

Wish granted! Now every hog in the world believes you f*cked his or her mommy.

I wish I wielded the A.S.H.P.D. and knew how to operate it, and I could make it appear into my hands at any given moment.

(Props if you know what the ASHPD is...)

Wish granted!

Unfortunately, you touched the operational end of the device, you looked directly at the operational end of the device, and you submerged it in water. You now have 7 different type of cancers and will die in 2 weeks.

I wish for a poodle.

 

Wish granted!

Unfortunately, you touched the operational end of the device, you looked directly at the operational end of the device, and you submerged it in water. You now have 7 different type of cancers and will die in 2 weeks.

I wish for a poodle.

Wish granted!

Unfortunately, the aforementioned poodle had rabies. The poodle bit you in the crotch, and you are now movement-impaired in 3 different sections of your body. You are also very ill.

I wish I could spawn a blizzard at will.

 

You can spawn a blizzard at will, but the blizzard will be in Antarctica, and it may take some time to get up force. Also you have cancer now.

I wish I had a 9 inch wang.

 

I wish I had a 9 inch wang.

You're wish is granted, but balls are not included.

I wish for nobody to come to my house, apply blunt trama to my head and thus knocking me unconcious, and then rape me.

 

I wish I had a 9 inch wang.

Congratulations! Your wang is now 9 inches wide! You are the proud owner of a chode! You must now get all of your underwear/boxers tailored to fit your wang.

I wish I could fling any person off of Earth, sending them hurdling into the sun, and that I could fling any person off Earth that I wanted.