Epic Adventure

Lace · Jul 6, 2009

3: Both of the above.
Fail, quote gets mad at you and teleports you into a dungeon mini game!

What class are you?
Warrior:

You enter the dungeon and find 3 very ominous looking doors and one pretty pink one, which do you choose?
Ominous Door A:

You open it and spikes fall from the ceiling, dismembering you.

Ominous Door B:

You open it, and are transformed into a ballerina. Naturally, you go back and enter the pink door, only to be eaten by an angry looking nerd.

Ominous Door C:

You open the door and fall down a really big pit. In front of you are two doors and two bored looking guards. One only tells the truth, and one only tells lies, what do you do?
Kill Them:

Mission Successful. Which door do you enter?
Left:

Inside, you find a sumo wrestler, who says:

Sumo Wrestler said:
Two hydrogen atoms bumped into each other.
One said: "Why do you look so sad?"
The other responded: "I lost an electron."
Concerned, One asked: "Are you sure?"
The other replied: "I'm positive"

You die from stupidity.

Right:

Inside, you find a llama, who says:

Llama said:
Ya know, priests and stock predicters are a lot alike, both try to understand a force beyond human comprehension, and both fail miserably.

You die from hilarity.

Dance Joyously:

Jolly old saint killalot was right again! A third door opens, and you are whisked outside, and become the princess of a dainty old castle. Do you:
1: Kill Everyone on the premises.
2: Go find a prince and get married.
3: Run away with no clothes on.
4: Run away in a bridal gown.
5: Steal everything and Run away.

Take the left door:

Inside, you find a sumo wrestler, who says:

Sumo Wrestler said:
Two hydrogen atoms bumped into each other.
One said: "Why do you look so sad?"
The other responded: "I lost an electron."
Concerned, One asked: "Are you sure?"
The other replied: "I'm positive"

You die from stupidity.

Take the right door:

Inside, you find a llama, who starts up a dialogue with himself, saying:

Llama said:
"Being a teacher is important! In Valaka, there is a god of teachers!"
"In Valaka, there is also a god of atheists."

You die from hilarity.

Pretty Pink Door:

Too tall to enter. Fail.

Nerd:

You enter the dungeon and find 3 very ominous looking doors and one pretty pink one, which do you choose?
Ominous Door A:

Death and Decay.

Ominous Door B:

Explosions.

Ominous Door C:

Boiling Blood.

Pretty Pink Door:

The door opens, and you find a room full of tellytubbies! They scare you so much that you sprint out of the dungeon, only to become the princess of a dainty old castle. Do you:
1: Kill Everyone on the premises.
2: Go find a prince and get married.
3: Run away with no clothes on.
4: Run away in a bridal gown.
5: Steal everything and Run away.

.

(It wouldn't fit in my siggy)

TheForgottenOne · Jul 6, 2009

Lace said:
3: Both of the above.
Fail, quote gets mad at you and teleports you into a dungeon mini game!

What class are you?
Warrior:

You enter the dungeon and find 3 very ominous looking doors and one pretty pink one, which do you choose?
Ominous Door A:

You open it and spikes fall from the ceiling, dismembering you.

Ominous Door B:

You open it, and are transformed into a ballerina. Naturally, you go back and enter the pink door, only to be eaten by an angry looking nerd.

Ominous Door C:

You open the door and fall down a really big pit. In front of you are two doors and two bored looking guards. One only tells the truth, and one only tells lies, what do you do?
Kill Them:

Mission Successful. Which door do you enter?
Left:

Inside, you find a sumo wrestler, who says:
You die from stupidity.

Right:

Inside, you find a llama, who says:
You die from hilarity.

Dance Joyously:

Jolly old saint killalot was right again! A third door opens, and you are whisked outside, and become the princess of a dainty old castle. Do you:
1: Kill Everyone on the premises.
2: Go find a prince and get married.
3: Run away with no clothes on.
4: Run away in a bridal gown.
5: Steal everything and Run away.

Take the left door:

Inside, you find a sumo wrestler, who says:
You die from stupidity.

Take the right door:

Inside, you find a llama, who starts up a dialogue with himself, saying:
You die from hilarity.

Pretty Pink Door:

Too tall to enter. Fail.

Nerd:

You enter the dungeon and find 3 very ominous looking doors and one pretty pink one, which do you choose?
Ominous Door A:

Death and Decay.

Ominous Door B:

Explosions.

Ominous Door C:

Boiling Blood.

Pretty Pink Door:

The door opens, and you find a room full of tellytubbies! They scare you so much that you sprint out of the dungeon, only to become the princess of a dainty old castle. Do you:
1: Kill Everyone on the premises.
2: Go find a prince and get married.
3: Run away with no clothes on.
4: Run away in a bridal gown.
5: Steal everything and Run away.

.

(It wouldn't fit in my siggy)

...
It better not fit.
>_>

5: Steal everything and run away.

While escaping, you bump into Chuck Norris. Do you:
1.) Run, hoping he doesn't kill you.
2.) Die to his chin-fist.
3.) Die to a roundhouse kick from 200 years ago.
4.) Just die.

Lace · Jul 6, 2009

1: Run Hoping he doesn't kill you.

Miraculously, you don't die, because mister chuck was aiming for the axe murderer standing behind you. Win. Do you:
1: Jump
2: Duck
3: Quack
4: Become an apprentice to the axe murderer
5: Become an apprentice to chuck norris
6: Wish them both a happy fifth and run away.
7: Become an apprentice to Jet Li
Also, were you the nerd or the warrior? I was half way done with the warrior when I got annoyed and pretty much stopped working on it.

TheForgottenOne · Jul 6, 2009

Nerd, and 7. Become apprentice to Jet Li.

After many decades of training under Jet Li, you emerge from the temple. You are ambushed by 9,001 monkey ninja butler killbot wizard fish. Do you:
1.) Walk away.
2.) Hadoken!
3.) Walk away while doing hadoken.
4.) Stare at them until their collective mind explodes (Kage only)
5.) Skullf**k each one.
6.) Throw a rock.

RHF64 · Jul 6, 2009

Mark: Warrior and 7: Join Rebuilt Quote (RQ), who looks much better now.

RQ doesn't know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult. You join RQ anyway.

A maze! Some guy wants you two to move a couch into said maze.

NOTE: You must choose one command per person now.

Commands for Mark:

1: Go through the maze.
2: Go around the maze.
3: Move the couch into the maze.

Commands for RQ:

4: Go over the maze.
5: Dig under the maze.
6: Shoot the guy and go around the maze.

Commands for Nerd:

7: Get back to where YOU were.
8: Go back to your nerdy life, thus rendering these commands useless.
9: Find something do help you go the next 100 pages.

Commands for All

10: Go onto GameFaqs and find a walkthrough.

Uncy Dave · Jul 6, 2009

You have a certain keeness to join up with quote.............

2, 5 and 9.

You have passed the maze. You got bruised along your detour and Quote gets a bit muddy. But for cheating, the man from the start get's mad he transforms into a giant crab.

1: Jump on Quote and Yell Huzzah!
2: Jump on the Crab and Yell Huzzah!
3: Bend the fabric of space and time to jump on your self and Yell Huzzah!
4: Shoop da Whoop

RHF64 · Jul 6, 2009

2: Balrog: Jump on the crab and yell "HUZZAH!"

Balrog wishes to join you, but only if you have a quality walkthrough incase you get stuck.

1: Go on GameFaqs.
2: Go on GameSpot.
3: Go on ScrewAttack.
4: Reject Balrog's offer.

VoidMage_Lowell · Jul 6, 2009

Hmm

4: Reject Balrog's offer. Who needs a walking toaster?

Balrog is surprised and insulted by this action, and prepares for battle.
Whaddya do?

1) Pull out a Polar Star and fight Balrog
2) Have Quote fight Balrog
3) Insult the talking suitcase
4) Walk away, jumping and pausing temporarily to dodge Balrog's attacks
5) Call up Misery

RHF64 · Jul 7, 2009

6: Take him down RPG style.

He is surprised as he was given a command by the player earlier in the game. However, he starts the battle.

1: Solo Attack
2: Team Attack
3: Use an Item
4: Run (Both)

whyme · Jul 7, 2009

1: Solo Attack

On who?

1. Quote
2. Balrog
3. Yourself

whyme · Jul 7, 2009

4. /Thread

What the hell is this?

whyme · Jul 7, 2009

Restart from last save point?

Yes/No

Captain Fabulous · Jul 7, 2009

No. Your thread has died of dysentery.

whyme · Jul 7, 2009

Captain Fabulous said:
dysentery.

What is that?

TheForgottenOne · Jul 7, 2009

A disease caused by unsanitary conditions. eg. a cesspit of catshit and vodka bottles.
[/rantaboutfilthyneighbour]

Afterlife begins.

You awaken in front of a small pedastal, a book open on it. There are two contracts, one on each page. You name is printed below the signature line of each, and a quill and inkpot stand ready. A quick scan of the contracts reveals that one is an agreement to do Good, and the other is an agreement to do Well. A few yards behind the pedastal is an ornate doorway freestanding and surrounded by a warm glow. Do you:

1.) Sign the agreement to do Good and then leave.
2.) Sign the agreement to do Well and then leave.
3.) Sign both then leave.
4.) Sign neither then leave.
5.) Wait around for some instructions.
6.) Rip up the book then piss on the scraps.
7.) Throw the book at the door, then draw on yourself.
8.) Flip through the book looking for porn.
9.) Flip through the book looking for a contract to do Evil.
10.) Take the book with you.

whyme · Jul 7, 2009

5.) Wait around for some instructions.

TheForgottenOne · Jul 7, 2009

A voice from nowhere booms out and is joined by many more:
Like this

1.) Sign the agreement to do Good and then leave.
2.) Sign the agreement to do Well and then leave.
3.) Sign both then leave.
4.) Sign neither then leave.
~~5.) Wait around for some instructions.~~
6.) Rip up the book then piss on the scraps.
7.) Throw the book at the door, then draw on yourself.
8.) Flip through the book looking for porn.
9.) Flip through the book looking for a contract to do Evil.
10.) Take the book with you.

Orangedawg · Jul 7, 2009

9.) Flip through the book looking for a contract to do Evil.
instead you sign the contract to do evil
you are reincarnated on earth as aakid what do you do???
1. join backwater forum on the internet and get banned several times
2. become pope, then make announcement on how your religion of evil is better than everyone else's
3. start career of loitering and petty theft
4. put out the signups for a cult worshipping you
5. get some clothes on

Captain Fabulous · Jul 7, 2009

6: Become an hero. You have quit life once again, and the Hindu gods are kinda pissed that you squandered the opportunity they gave you so quickly.
1) Ask for forgiveness and another chance at life.
2) Ask for forgiveness and another chance at the afterlife.
3) Tell all the gods they can go shove a lightning bolt up their asses.
4) Do a barrel roll.
5) ???
6) PROFIT!

VoidMage_Lowell · Jul 7, 2009

Ruined

Jeeze guys, can't you read the rules?

Uncy Dave said:
Then I'm gonna make some options.

1: Curl up in a ball
2: Run away
3: Use a gun

So the next person chooses an option.
3: Use a gun.

No where does it say you make up your own option. That's like giving yourself an extra free-throw in Basketball.
If you can't play by the rules, then don't play at all.
You're ruining the game.
Go create your own thread if you want to play like that...

{This isn't directed solely at you Captain, as others have done it several times already}