Epic Adventure

Okay.
This is sorta like a cross between 1 sentence story and Q&A.
So basically I'm gonna start off with a scenario. You are hiking alone in the woods. Suddenly, you are ambushed by some killer drop bears.

Then I'm gonna make some options.

1: Curl up in a ball
2: Run away
3: Use a gun

So the next person chooses an option.
3: Use a gun.

Then the same person will then make another scenario based on the choice they just made. Always make the situation worse!

You shoot the drop bears, but unfortunately the drop bears were coated in bullet-proof metal. You spot one up in the tree above you! It descends to kill you!

Then they will make more options for the next person to choose from

1: Dodge the bear
2: Spit venom in it's eyes
3: Shoop da Whoop

And this will repeat forever. You cannot die. The situation must continue to become worse but never be resolved. You can make anything happen and you can make as many options as you like. You could dodge the bear and fall down a pitfall trap that leads to another dimension where you must fight giant robots to protect humanity. So let's begin!

You are on a flight to Norway. There is an annoying 5 year old kid next to you crying and pelting bits of chocolate at you. What do you do?

1: Punch the little bitch.
2: Reason with it
3: Lock him in the bathroom cubicle
4: Throw him out the window

 

2: Reason with it

You are on a flight to Norway. There is an annoying 5 year old kid next to you crying and pelting bits of chocolate at you. You say something nasty! The 5 year old kid begins to cry, and now everyone including its mother is looking at you. What do you do?

1: Punch the little bitch.
2: Lock it in the bathroom cubicle
3: Throw it out the window

 

(You can make brand new options by the way)

2: Lock it in the bathroom

Yes! Your problem is solved! You return to your seat comfortably. You notice a lit fuse inside the childs bag. It's got a bomb in it! The kid wanted you to lock him in the cubicle all along for it is safer in there. What do you do?

1: Get the bag in the cubicle with the child
2: Try and put out the fire on the fuse
3: Jump out the plane
4: Jump out the plane with the child's bag to save everyone else in the plane
5: Get in the cubicle, break the kid's spine, chuck it out and lock the door.

 

4: Jump out the plane with the child's bag to save everyone else in the plane

Your mission was successful! You throw the bomb literally to another planet. You end up in a cave because of your carelessness of landing, however. You see a gauntlet of some sort. What do you do?

1: Sneak out with the gauntlet
2: Get the gauntlet and find out something
3: GTFO

 

2: Get the gauntlet and find out something.

!!! That gauntlet lifts a finger and points north. Towards the north you can see an ominous red light.

1: Follow the gauntlet's diretction
2: Go in the opposite direction
3: Stay there
4: Break the pointing finger off the gauntlet.

 

3: Stay there.

Turns out the gauntlet didn't want anything.

1: Take it.
2: Go north.
3: Go south.
4: Go Dennis.
5: Go Quote.

 

1: Go North.

The glowing red light appears to be the words EXIT illumanting the ground.

1: /thread
2: /thread
3: /thread
4: Piss on EXIT
5: Keep on moving

 

5: Keep on moving.

Turns out Quote was past the exit. He wants you to help him.

1: Yes
2: No

 

1: Yes

You say yes to quote. Suddenly, you feel dizzy, your head spins and the world fades out. You wake up hand cuffed to a giant parrot of which is asleep.

1: Pull on the chain connecting you and the parrot at the risk of waking it up.
2: Breath fire
3: Wake up the giant parrot thinking it might not kill you
4: Try to burn it with a magnifiying glass under the sun

 

2: Breathe fire.

The parrot burns to a crisp. Suddenly, someone appears from out of nowhere.

It's Quote again! He has recently bailed you out!

1: Go with him to the adventure of a lifetime.
2: Betray him only to be attacked by rabid Chris McClones.

 

2: Kick him like a bitch-ass pussy

Nice! You succesfully enter heaven! But an alarm has been sounded! Trucks full of riot police arive.

1: Quietly leave heaven
2: Hang Yourself and die again
3: Scream and try and fight the riot police by shooting lasers out of your eyes
4: Put your hands up and sit down

 

3: Scream and try and fight the riot police by shooting lasers out of your eyes.

Sweet! The riot police were all re-incarnated, leaving you alone in heaven! Unfortunately, the lasers have started melting your brain.

1: Claw your eyes out.
2: Claw your brain out.
3: Go find the devil and ask him to fix your brain
4: Go find god and ask him to fix your brain.
5: Sit down and calmly wait for your brain to melt.
6: Cast rampant growth.
7: Hang yourself.

 

6: Cast Rampant Growth.
Lush forest spring up around you, providing nourishing fruits and herbs, many of which aid in the healing of your meltybrain. Out of the jungle canopy, a Canopy Dragon appears, running down the trunk of a massive tree. Do you:

1: Hide, in hopes that it can't find you.
2: Run, hoping it doesn't catch up and trample you.
3: Cast Jump, and hope it doesn't follow you into the sky.
4: Cast Pongify, turning it into a large monkey.
5: Cast Unsummon, whisking it away.
6: Attempt to communicate with it.
7: Cast Cryptic Command on it, whisking it away and learning a new spell. Not enough mana.
8: Summon Prodigial Sorcerer (AKA Tim) to aid you!

 

4: Cast Pongify, turning it into a large monkey.

Oh noez! the spell backfired and now you are a giant monkey! Behind you, the canopy dragon approaches. Do you:

1: Hide, in hopes that it can't find you.
2: Run, hoping it doesn't catch up and trample you.
3: Attempt to communicate with it.
4: Fight it with your very slow ninjaness.
5: Pretend it's a large banana, and eat it. (warning: indigestion)

 

5: Pretend it's a large banana, and eat it.

After munching thoughtfully on the Bana- Canopy Dragon, the radiant energies of the forest swirl in your belly and cause massive indegestion... But... The forest's magic ripples through your flesh as well, causing Giant Growth! Do you:

1: Uproot trees and hurl them like spears.
2: Find a Wurm and wrestle it.
3: Run though the forest, trampling trees and critters in your wake.
4: Wonder about how your clothing managed to stay on though you grew so huge...
5: Ask Tim what to do!
6: Go drink a drop of Moonglove, thinking size will make you immune. (IT'S A TRAP!)

 

3: Run through the forest, trampling trees and critters in your wake!

You've never had so much fun! But it's all spoiled when you step on the world's largest pitfall trap ever! And it's too big to climb out of! What can you do?

1: Use ninja powers to run up the wall
2: Build a rocket
3: Sit in a corner and cut yourself

 

Heh...eh....

3: Sit in the corner and cut yourself.

Amazingly, that cured you of your Monkey-ism!
Unfortunately, you're now a regular human stuck in a giant pitfall.
Now what?

1. Attempt to climb out
2. Type in "Power Overwhelming"
3. Sit in the corner and cut yourself some more
4. Dig your way out
5. Call for help

 

2: Type in "Power Overwhelming".

Turns out you're alive! You are at a hospital. Your visitor: Quote again!

1: Go with him once you're done recovering.
2: Fight him once you're done recovering.
3: Fight him with the Mimiga Monsters on your side once you're done recovering.
4: All of the above.
5: ????
6: PROFIT!

 

2: Fight him once you're finished

He was the most boring company ever for he never spoke. You chuck him out the window. Quote was no more.

1: Stamp on his face to make sure he's dead
2: Jump out the window so you can join him in the after life (Cause you love him)
3: Screw Quote I'm off
4: Fix him up

 

5: Rebuild him to your own desired image.

Rebuilt Quote seems to talk now. And... he has his own arm cannon. He almost makes some sort of a reference to Megaman.

1: Make sure he doesn't make a full reference to said video game series.
2: Finish rebuilding him.
3: Both of the above.