The Community-driven Cave Story Fanfic

The dark king calls upon his most trusted champion to halt your charge.

A hulking beast beams his eyes from the tower spotting you. He attempts to advance...

Spoiler

but ends up falling out the window to it's death

 

The dark king calls upon his most trusted champion to halt your charge.

A hulking beast beams his eyes from the tower spotting you. He attempts to advance...

Spoiler

but ends up falling out the window to it's death

Spoiler

my reaction: https://hucario.herokuapp.com/yesISeriouslySetUpAUrlJustForMyReaction (that's not a joke, I really did)
you might have to click for it to play, browser autoplay restrictions are wierd

 

You awaken in the hospital ER feeling very light. Weightless as a matter a fact. you appear to be floating over a very convincing doppelganger sleeping in the hospital bed as several familiar people surround the bed. A few have broken down crying and the insurance agent is talking about how you weren't covered for "untimely death from deep meaning".

 

Some of them were the same girls from earlier. Your family of course couldn't be arsed to show up, but these girls did. Were you wrong about your actions? No, they did spike your drink and you did at least try to be a conqueror. You sit here, feeling powerless. You can only listen to the girls arguing with the insurance agent...

 

Upon closer inspection, the insurance agent looks familiar with his goggles, droopy ears, white fur, and his hand caressing the feet of your totally not deceased body below you (of which these bimbos either don't seem to notice, or are to freaked out to even say anything)

 

It wasn't the girls or the insurance agent, it was actually the brother of the dark lord dressed as a nurse. He smiles wickedly, knowing that you're too entrapped in yourself to do anything.

 

and then jack the ripper came out of the horse

 

The horse proceeds to redevour Jack the Ripper as everyone in the room freaks out about the man-eating horse except for you and your comatose body.

 

The dark lord's brother uses the commotion to make his escape, while the man-eating horse starts sniffing your comatose body...

 

Quote enters the hospital, and thinking that you are an accomplice of the Dark Lord, he shoots you with his Spur.

 

You awaken from your coma, then die 5 seconds later. You awaken, then realise that you still own Satan your soul for the last time you died.

 

Sitting right next to him, on the other bed, was Kaeru.
Covered of bandages, must have been quite the beat up.

 

The horse begins munching down on Kaeru's foot

 

Kareru complains. It has been the 8th time this week that a horse has tried eating him. Meanwhile, you're in Hell, and you think to yourself, how will you cheat Satan this time?

 

remembering that a while ago you got drunk and invested your life savings and your soul in a 10% share of hell, you decide to use the phone booth and make a few calls to that eccentric stock broker you met in college.

After a while ground shakes as black vans erupt from the ceiling and landing all over hell. Several repo-men step out of them and begin deconstructing bits of hell and boxing them up.

 

When suddenly batman burst from the shade

 

We don't talk about Batman.

 

so then batman fades out of existence and cried such a loud scream that it caused the universe to fucking explode