Bombchu Link said:
So I just played the latest demo, which was also my first time playing this mod. Nice job, I enjoyed it. At times I felt that the story was a bit shaky,
A bit shaky?
Would you be willing to explain in greater detail on this?
It seems far-fetched as a whole that Sue would be wielding a gun and being able to hold her own against enemies like she does, but I guess you have to take liberties like that if you don't want to stretch the Cave Story engine too much, so I guess I can't blame you for that. After analyzing it a bit more, it wasn't so much the storyline itself that bothered me as it was your representation of the characters.
In my opinion, Kazuma was a little out of character. In Cave Story he seems more formal and less banterful than in this mod, but then again you could argue that people sometimes act differently around family members than with colleagues and friends, and that such is the case with Kazuma.
I also felt that Booster seemed a bit out of character in the opening. "Hurry up and go help your brother." doesn't seem like how he'd phrase his sentence. Under those circumstances, I think he'd say something more like "You'd best be helping Kazuma right now."
Misery seemed out of character. Given that you had Balrog say huzzah, I'm guessing you're trying to portray all the characters as they are in the AGTP translation. The Misery in the AGTP translation is calm, collective, elitist, and only angered by extreme circumstances. The vibe I got from Misery in the first scene in your mod with her was a much more easily flustered, less wise, and less magically skilled witch who easily gets on the defensive or feels vulnerable. Granted, if you were trying to mimic the NICALiS Misery, then you'd be closer to home, but if you were trying to do AGTP Misery, which I think you were, then I think your representation of Misery was off.
Bombchu Link said:
and I didn't care much for your meshing the Cave Story universe with the Sonic universe,
And shadow is more or less something I added for the fun of it.
It kind of annoys me when people go overboard on doing stuff like that "for the fun of it" in a mod that's supposed to be serious. The impression I'm getting is that Sue's Story is supposed to be a serious mod. But if it does stuff like break the fourth wall with Sue acknowledging the fanfare when getting the last box, or shadow going on at long length about his universe if you let him, shows that the mod doesn't take itself very seriously. And supposedly serious mods that don't take themselves seriously break immersion for me. Granted, I'm not against doing something like this to a small degree in possibly a super secret area, but doing what you've done makes it hard for me to take this mod seriously. That's just me, though.
Bombchu Link said:
There's some room for improvement on the level design.
I know, I plan to re-do the flower cavern, but I don't understand what is wrong with the mushroom cavern?
The mushroom cavern was pretty good. Maybe the map could be a bit smaller so it's easier to navigate, but I don't have any major complaints. I'm glad to hear that the flower cavern is going to get redone. The cave that you go through after jumping off the Balcony wasn't the best design, but I guess it was acceptable. The waterway could definitely have some rough edges smoothed, so to speak. Some of the parts that are supposed to look like rough gravel look blocky.
Bombchu Link said:
- Momorin's angry/crying face picture looked kinda weird.
Really? How should I change it then?
Sorry, weird is the wrong word. Rather, unfitting for the situation. That face picture mostly expresses sadness and depression. But the circumstances under which you used it had her expressing both overwhelming grief and anger at the Doctor. You should change her face picture so that she looks more like she's crying and shouting hysterically, rather than quietly sulking.
Bombchu Link said:
The lighter and darker parts of the cave effect was really cool. Although in my opinion there's room for improvement on the transition between lighter rock and darker rock tiles.
I really don't want to go back over it again, I spent 6 hours on it already. if you want to though, then knock yourself out.
Noted.
Bombchu Link said:
I felt it was awkward that you answered for Quote when Sue asked him if he saved her. I think you should handle it differently.
How do I change the text without changing the text then?
There are two different ways of going about this that I would recommend:
1). Handle it the way Curly mode in the NICALiS ports does with a face pictureless text box with the text "....." representing Quote's lines. Then continue the conversation as though Quote had given her an answer.
2). Have Quote's answer actually shown. The main reason Quote's lines aren't shown in Cave Story is because the story is told from his perspective. In this story, it's told from Sue's perspective, and therefore it may be justifiable to have Quote's lines actually shown. After all, Quote's lines are shown in Curly mode when you feed him the mushroom. Although NICALiS is inconsistent with this train of thought, seeing as how up until then, his lines are implied rather than shown, like in option 1.
Those are my two suggestions. If I were you, I'd do option 2. But that's just me.
