Polaris

Polaris

Amaya 25 From Somewhere quiet with many birds
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  • Polaris
    Oh, my. As of now, I've officially been a member of Cave Story Tribute Site Forums - and the Internet as a whole - for 1 year. ...a whole, whole lot has happened this year. I've accomplished so much, both on a professional level and a personal level. Especially a personal level. ...I'm honestly very proud of myself. <img src='http://www.cavestory.org/forums/public/style_emoticons/default/grin2.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':D' /> One year ago, I was hesitant to even push the "Sign Up" button. I had never submitted anything, never left any sort of mark on the internet - I was too afraid. I was always unsure of myself, I was convinced I was some level of insane just because of one secret interest and one unseen girl. I was afraid to speak, afraid to try anything, afraid of myself, afraid of disapproval. But I clicked that Sign Up button anyway. And one year later... <img src='http://www.cavestory.org/forums/public/style_emoticons/default/chin.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':chin:' /> Obviously, I can't just slam all the credit on the forums alone. But you guys <strong class='bbc'><em class='bbc'>helped</em></strong>. Like, a ton. <img src='http://www.cavestory.org/forums/public/style_emoticons/default/debug.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':debug:' /> And I thank you all dearly for that. ¶_^ ~★ I really like being here. I really like the paths I see before me. And I hope to stay for years to come!
    Polaris
    Temporarily leaving. I have finals for the next three days, and even though I'm fairly sure I'll do well at them anyway because I'm really good at tests, it's still better to study and I haven't done that at all. I'll come on and answer the Well question when I can! (I haven't gotten one in a while, thanks ElecMaw! :3)
    Polaris
    Polaris
    Ready again. ^_^

    Hopefully I won't take too long with questions anymore.

    <span style='color: magenta'>Also, I hope I'm right about how color works. Because if I am, the stupid Post Preview page can go jump into a refreshing lake for all I care about it, it's such a jerk. </span>
    Polaris
    Polaris
    <span style='color: magenta'>Once more, to make sure... </span>
    BLink
    You're online?
    Polaris
    Polaris
    I AM ALWAYS ONLINE

    WATCHING

    <span style='font-size: 8px'>Except when I'm not, but that's FAIRLY RARELY</span>
    BLink
    BLink
    I see...

    I just got up to do some downloading myself and mess with my buggy Hard Drive.
    Polaris
    Recently, I no longer BSoD at the thought of Gardevoir's Mega evolution, so that's good...I still think they could have somehow gone with a better design, but I think given a bit of time I'll grow to like it. Lot of neatness I didn't see in the two seconds I first looked at one. ^_^
    Hina
    Hina
    She's still a bride
    Polaris
    Polaris
    Nonsense!
    Hina
    Hina
    Okay, maybe not.
    Polaris
    <span rel='lightbox'><img class='bbc_img' src='http://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/166214930/HuzzahNewYear.jpg' alt='Posted Image' /></span><div class='bbc_spoiler'>
    <span class='spoiler_title'>Spoiler</span> <input type='button' class='bbc_spoiler_show' value='Show' />
    <div class='bbc_spoiler_wrapper'><div class='bbc_spoiler_content' style="display:none;">Happy New Year! I know this might be early or late because time zones are a thing, but the sentiment stands. Let's all hope for 2014 to be a wonderful year! :3</div></div>
    </div>
    X-Calibar
    X-Calibar
    Happy New Year 2014! I'm hoping this will be a year to remember... for lots of good things ;D
    Lots of resolutions, changes and hopes going into this one. Btw, love the picture ;3
    curlybrace22702
    curlybrace22702
    Happy New year to you too!
    I don't think your time was off at all!
    It was posted at 12:00 am today!
    Polaris
    Polaris
    <blockquote class='ipsBlockquote' data-author="curlybrace22702"><p>Happy New year to you too!
    I don't think your time was off at all!
    It was posted at 12:00 am today!</p></blockquote>Thanks :3

    It wasn't, I somehow managed to post it on the minute even with the unreliable internet I had then. ^_^

    Mostly, what I meant is that people in different time zones will see it as posted at 1:00 or 9:00 or something. But I'm sure they understand~ <:

    <blockquote class='ipsBlockquote' data-author="X-Calibar"><p>Happy New Year 2014! I'm hoping this will be a year to remember... for lots of good things ;D
    Lots of resolutions, changes and hopes going into this one. Btw, love the picture ;3</p></blockquote>I'm sure it will be! <img src='http://www.cavestory.org/forums/public/style_emoticons/default/grin2.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':D' />

    And thank you! The picture is indeed super awesome. £:
    Polaris
    And yet...
    View previous comments…
    janekhan
    janekhan
    Polaris, you must be one of the most mature and intelligent persons I've ever had the honor of meeting. I mean, everything. What you say, how you say it, I can't imagine you ever doing something irrational or saying something stupid. And to think you're still 14 (15?). A teenager, like me. But not like me. I'm 13, and all I speak is illogic and rashness. Polaris, you've got to be one the greatest humans to ever exist. And I mean that.
    duncathan
    duncathan
    Do you remember what we talked about, Polaris?
    Polaris
    Polaris
    Mhm...it's one of the earliest things we've discussed on Skype, but it's still archived somehow. We discussed your friend and self-restraints. I wasn't lying about the fact that my closest friend is a help...and hey, I've even made some bits of progress, especially compared to last year. I just...take a step backwards some days, is all.
    Polaris
    The day after Christmas...
    Polaris
    Polaris
    Last year, I was left alone to do something. As I stood there, as my surroundings grew dark and quiet, and nothing but Moon Flow went through my head, I entered a horribly deep abyss of melancholy and depression that left me to a certain extent when they came back...but I'm sure I still didn't sleep well that night. I haven't listened to Moon Flow in months.

    One year later, I've learned so much and met so many people and changed in some ways for the better and in some ways for the worse. The day started well enough. I went about my business in peace. It seemed like a good day.

    Then I was told by someone that I trusted that I was so full of shit. And did the same thing I had to last year. Again. Namine's theme, backwards, played the entire time. But with the help of my ally and the outside-the-box philosophies I've learned, I pulled myself out. Upbeat Pepper Steak replaced the beautifully nightmarish, haunting melody.

    And later I entered nice social Skype interaction. These are good people. They like me, even with my (nameless something). Yet somehow, my mood fell again. Almost to fatal levels. And I broke down and left.

    Here I am, 2 in the morning, questioning everything I've done, everything I think I stand for, everything I *am*. I was only barely saved by my ally. I don't know how I'd be without her. I know I'll have a good life in the long run. I'm a good person at heart. I have the capability and the friends to recover from almost any emotional breakdown now. And these feelings will pass, like everything does, and I'll be able to breathe again. And yet, I still have so many doubts. I feel so unsatisfied with everything and unsure and regretful...

    The day after Christmas.

    I hate it.
    Polaris
    Polaris
    Man...Christmas Eve is tomorrow! I'm quite excited. We have a lovely tree and everything, and the place hasn't looked this good in years. ^_^
    Sue Sockymodo
    I'm gonna make you a thing
    Polaris
    So I've been wondering.
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