The Well - Captain Fabulous

vampire sex would suck because she would be room temperature.

That's *cold* of you, man.

Okay, no more vampire questions.

If you were forced to watch only films from one trilogy listed below for six months, which would you pick?

Indiana Jones (Crystal Skull isn't a REAL IJ film)
Back to the Future.
Star Wars 1-3 (The New Ones)
Star Wars 3-6 (The Old Ones)
Lord of the Rings.

 

I spent a long time thinking about how to put that one, glad you got the gist of it (:
Okay, here's some tougher ones, I think.
1. Would you rather have a spouse who loves you unconditionally, but forgets everything that happened the previous day every time she wakes up (this condition would appear after a few months of marriage, so you're still in the groove of almost newly-weds), or a spouse who is also compatible with you, but refuses to get intimate?
2. What is the nicest thing someone has ever done for you? What is the nicest thing you've ever done for someone? Please don't try and downplay that second one, everyone always does.
3. If I were to buy you the gift of your choice right now, for any price, what would it be?
4. If you could change one facet of your persona, what would it be? Looks, personality traits, I don't care, just have a good reason.
And walk me through your thought process dammit, if I wanted only answers I would've given this as a Scantron.

1. I don't think I could deal with my spouse being reset every day, and after a while it would be just as hard for her when things start changing, like the house she lives in or the dog we own. It would be impossible for me to be on the same level as her if she can't remember the months or years we've had together. Actually, could you just watch 50 First Dates instead of me showing my work?

2. It's unfortunate I don't keep a catalogue of my entire life, because when I get asked questions about it I can only remember whatever pops into my head, which may not be the best answer. But here's something. It's another story about a girl, more recent than the other one:
I'd been in love with her for a while. She wasn't sure how she felt about me, but she wasn't really in a position to return my love. I don't really need to get into that, but when this took place, she had gone through a pretty bad breakup two months before. I had a feeling she was ready to move on, but again, I was terrified of doing something that would drive her away from me. But, I wanted to be with her so badly, I had to say something... unfortunately it came out in the form of a terrible line about sexual attraction.
After that, I confessed I was still in love with her, but everything I did seemed to scare her away even more, until she just left. I saw her briefly the next day but she hardly said a word to me. She was distraught and didn't want to talk.
The next day, at least I think it was the next day, I run into a good friend of hers. Well, more like he found me. I sorta know the guy, we had talked quite a bit I suppose. He didn't seem very happy with me at all. After being angry and accusing me of a lot of things I didn't understand, and me alternating between defensive and offensive, he told me how this girl was feeling and that I was a terrible person. I did a pretty poor job of explaining myself, since I was a nervous wreck after being shut out by the girl when she was in distress.
He could have just told me to stay away from her and then left. Instead he got me to explain myself (took a while) and made me apologize to her. His conversation gave me the clarity I needed, so if he hadn't tried to help me through that, I might never have had a real conversation with this girl again. She still means a lot to me, but that is a different story.
That is the best thing anyone has done for me, even though he was angry at me and was doing it to defend his friend.

The nicest thing I ever did for someone? That's a hard thing to keep track of. I think I'm a very... neutral person. Not terribly proud of that. I... I think I might not be good at doing good things. Jesus, I need to start saving people's lives, or at least helping old ladies cross the street. I mean, I'm not a jerk, I just don't go out of my way... shit guys.

3. 88-key keyboard with MIDI compatibility and all of those sweet ass-fucking functions. Right now I have a tiny 37-key thing that's about 10 years old and is more of a children's toy than a musical instrument.
Of course, the gift of love is priceless.

4. I can change my persona. That is not a flight of fancy, that is something entirely within my power. I just said I want to start committing more random acts of kindness, so I will.

if you give any advice to yourself when you were, say, 14, what would it be?
what is the most meaningful thing you've ever made or done (to you personally)?
what is the thing you hate most about your life right now?

A new update of iTunes (10.6.1) is available. Would you like to download it now?

1. That is tricky because it has to be advice I'd follow. I'd like to say "Schoolwork is important, fuckin' do it" but I knew that and I didn't do it. I think I'd give myself advice on how to not give a flying fuck about people, so that I could get a head start on being a jaded bastard. I think that's what helped me get over my shyness and introversion, so being less lonely in 9th grade would have helped my social life a lot after that, I think.

2. I haven't had a lot of big, life-changing, meaningful events. It's been small increments. I don't think I can answer this question, and that is kind of sad.

3. I am an incredibly lazy and unmotivated person who finds great challenge in accomplishing the simplest of tasks. So basically, I hate how much I disappoint myself.

4. Already did, bitch.




Ambient Malice: Star Wars. Original trilogy. Didn't have to think for a second.

 

what is one of your favourite dreams that you can remember?
what is your favourite instrument?
what is the longest amount of time you've gone without sleeping?
what is your favourite thing to do when you're procrastinating, and why?
what is your favourite type of alcohol?

 

1. What would you name your first born child?
2. You have to paint your walls one color. What color would that be, and why? You could hook my up with some Hexidecimal if you were feeling really snazzy.
3. What's the worst injury you've sustained? You could take the emotional route and depress me, but I was thinking more physical; those are generally more fun to tell.
4. You can eliminate one law from the books. It would be Canada exclusive, and could never be re-instilled in any form. What law and why?

 

what is one of your favourite dreams that you can remember?
what is your favourite instrument?
what is the longest amount of time you've gone without sleeping?
what is your favourite thing to do when you're procrastinating, and why?
what is your favourite type of alcohol?

1. Kinda tricky to remember. I want to cheap out and say the one where I had really hot sex, but that's kinda boring for you, isn't it? How about the one where I was mothafuckin' Pikachu and my bro Squirtle and I were running around solving crimes and beating up zombies?
I was ten.

2. To play, the keyboard. It's the only one I can play, and I can barely play it. My all-around favourite is the electric guitar, because they're just so darn cool.

3. 31 hours, for a cast party. It was in this huge playground thing that we rented for the night. It's a big complex of tubes and arcade games for kids and i was 18 and it was so fun.

4. Forums, IRC, Reddit, Armor Games, e621, Reddit again. If I'm not saturating my brain with dopamine, I might feel like getting something done.

5. The kind in permanent markers because it smells sooooo good. I don't drink, sorry.

1. What would you name your first born child?
2. You have to paint your walls one color. What color would that be, and why? You could hook my up with some Hexidecimal if you were feeling really snazzy.
3. What's the worst injury you've sustained? You could take the emotional route and depress me, but I was thinking more physical; those are generally more fun to tell.
4. You can eliminate one law from the books. It would be Canada exclusive, and could never be re-instilled in any form. What law and why?

Hi again cultr, I love you too.
1. It would depend a lot on my wife's opinions, wouldn't it? I think Zach is a good name. Or I could be a dick and name him Samuel (you have to know my last name to understand why that makes me a dick).

2. This colour, because purple's fucking awesome and relaxing and chill.

3. I kind of like not injuring myself. It's a passion of mine. It doesn't make me a pussy, it makes me smart. I go skiing and fly off jumps and race through the trees between runs, but not if I could fuck myself up. The worst thing I've ever done was fall off my bike when I was 5 and cut my head open on a rock. Then the cut got infected and it looked ugly and leaked pus for about a week. So bad-ass.

4. The one that makes pot illegal. I've never used it, and although I'd consider it if pot were legal, I don't want to legalize it so I can smoke it. Gang violence is a severe problem where I live.

 

1. A man rolls a die. If 1, 2, 3, or 4 come up and you've earned $1000. If you get a 5 or 6, you're killed on the spot. Completely painless, just ceases immediately. You roll successfully the first time. The man then informs you that you can have it rolled again, this time for $1,000,000. Would you risk it?
2. Would you rather be given an average sized house for free, or a luxurious house normally priced at $1 million for only $400,000?
3. Would you rather have functional wings or functional gills and webbed appendages? Neither would be questioned by anybody; assume they won't hinder you in scenarios that would be easy without them.

 

if you could get one of the older members who sort of stopped being active start posting here again who would it be?

 

1. Maybe someone who knows game theory could correct me, but it seems that if the stakes are death, it doesn't make a difference if it's one cent or $1,000,000. If you live, then you get money and you're on your way. Obviously a million bucks would be better than a penny. If you die, then you are dead. The money didn't matter. So I would not risk either roll. There's more to life than money anyway.

2. Average-sized house for free. My house is worth quite a bit less than $400,000, and I get by just fine. I really don't need a mortgage and interest and all that shit if it's so easily avoidable.

3. WD asked me if I'd rather live in the sky or unda da sea, and I said the sky because it's awesomer. So I like the sky, that's a pro for getting wings. You know what would be great with the ladies? Wings. Not gills. And you know what is a much better form of transportation than walking? Flying. I think wings might be even cooler than rocket boots, considering there's a much lower risk of death. I was never very partial to water, and again, it gets dark down there. And and and, remember that scene when Harry Potter grew gills? He wasn't looking too sexy then, was he?
tl;dr wings are pretty fucking awesome and everyone knows it.



sexplosive: The Joker because he seemed cool and I never got to talk to him

 

If the chance arose, would you accept a job as an astronaut?

 

Alright so if I could tackle my motivation issues, yes, and I'd work hard to prepare myself for the job. You have to have like five Ph.D's and be RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPED, so I think there's no way it could happen, but it's space. I'd push myself harder than I ever have before if it meant going into space. Sometimes I think the idea of being in outer "motherfucking" space is underappreciated.

 

I was delayed while Opera's servers shat themselves or something... But I'm back online. Anyway, an important question, Fab:

Which do you prefer: Showering or bathing?

 

If you could have sex with one global celebrity, who would it be?
And yes, you can grow a vagina if you wish.

 

Do you have any religious beliefs? If so, what are they?
What do you value?

Favorite play/musical?
If you were forced to have sex with another forum member, who would it be?
How tall is this well?

 

1. If you're going through a door and someone's behind you, what's the maximum distance they could be behind you where you'd still hold the door for them?

2. Say you're in love with someone, to the extent that you believe she is your one true soulmate, but, due to circumstances mostly outside of your control, the chances of you being with her are very slim, but not quite zero. Do you think "It's worthwhile to pursue her anyway, despite the slim odds" or "It's not worth pursuing her, I can just settle for someone else" or "It's not worth pursuing her, I just won't have a relationship because nobody else could compare to her" or something else entirely?

3. What is the best way to respond to a loud fart in public? Consider both the situation where you are the farter and the one where someone near you is.

4. Suppose you own a device which you can seal yourself in for any period of time as often as you want, and which continuously activates the pleasure center in your brain. How often and for how long would you use this device? Assume no physical harm other than aging (and possibly death if you age too much - this device doesn't make you immortal) can befall you while you're sealed in this device.

5. How many dead babies does it take to give you a boner?

6. What is your opinion on the relationship between composer and performer in music? To what extent do you approve of performers "interpreting" and taking liberties with what the composer has written?

7. Do you see the pattern in this set of questions?


Also, I love how we're all just blatantly disregarding this:

Personal questions, obviously, but nothing too personal. For instance, you might want to ask about their favourite colour, but not, say, their sex life.

 

1. Say you could extend your lifespan by any amount of years. If you pick zero, you will die at the age of 70. If you chose more than zero, your body would remain that of a healthy 70 year old for as long as you chose. Do you extend your life? If so, for how long?
2. Favorite season?
3. You can add or subtract one feature/problem in the human body and mind. Why do you change?
4. What's a book you would recommend to basically anyone who you get along with?
5. Favorite genre of movie?
6. Is it better to have a long relationship that ends tragically, but is perfect until its end, or a short relationship with few deep emotions at all?
7. If you owned a castle, what would be on your coat of arms? This should say something about you, not just be like "flaming snakes because they're cool."

 

dude save some good ones for other people

 

1. Do you have a "most embarrassing moment"?

2. If you had wings, what kind would you want? ie feathers vs webbed

3. Your ship crashes onto a deserted island. There is not a single sign of life. Then one day you go to the shore and come across 2 sister mermaids. One of them has a fish tail and a human's upper half, while the other is the opposite with a fish head and human legs. You haven't fapped in ages and have to fulfill your disgusting manly needs. Which one would you have sex with? Also, no 3-somes allowed.

4. Typical question: If you could go back in the past and change one decision you made, what would it be? Also I'd appreciate it if you didn't say "NONE, I HAVE NO REGRETS. HURUGHAGN", despite it being true. I'd like an answer, even if it's really insignificant like "That one time when I went to the restaurant I would have chosen soup instead of salada".

Note how I said "decision". And with that in mind, if you could go back in the past and change the circumstances of a situation, or eliminate something that happened to you or stood in your way, what would it be?

5. If you could put yourself into one of your favorite video games, which would it be?

6. Would you rather be: deaf, blind, armless, legless, or have half of your body covered in disfiguring, severe burns?

 

Don't you mean deaf and mute, dasu?

 

Deaf from birth implies mute.
Also Noxid, I will probably reuse or rehash some of the more basic questions for other people, since they'll give different answers hopefully D:

 

Do you think that authorial intent is important?
Why not?

Would you rather be Achilles, Odysseus or Diomedes? (or I guess Paris/Aeneas/Hector) if you pick Diomedes or Aeneas, do it again without picking them, but note you chose them first.
What about Hermaphroditus or Priapus?

Do you think that fate is a fundamentally disturbing idea?
Are you afraid of losing your mind?

Talk about any existential crises you may have had.
If you were to be a tragic hero, in what way would you like to die (or otherwise be tragic)?