Spelunky: I HATE WORLD 3.

You arrive in World 1, and get shot by an arrow trap. You grab lots of monies and get out. You find yourself in World 2. After going through the Black Market and dice rolling for the Jetpack and Ankh, you find an altar, along with a damsel directly under it that you have to bomb to get to but no one cares about her. You stun a man-eating plant. As you run for the altar, you fall in water, get out, the plant wakes up and EATS YOUR ANKH. You run to the exit before the ghost catches you. You get to World 3 with the Kapala, 5 health and jetpack. You see an altar, but a UFO stops over it and destroys it, making your favor decrease and SPIDERS. You try to jump on the saucer, and it suddenly rises up, making you get hurt. You finally jump on it and it explodes. You jump on a yeti and it for some reason wants to throw you and THE GAME CRUSHES YOU IN A WALL.
Worst freaking runthrough ever.

Okay, this thread actually has a point. I don't know if this is done before, but post your hilarious or saddening spelunking stories for everyone to laugh at. I know you all have at least one, and I have tons.
So get at it.

 

Don't you know that the best way to win is to rob the black market?

It's a bit tricky, but with a shotgun and supplies from previously robbed shops it isn't too hard.

 

I suppose it could be done, if you pick them off one at a time.
I've never done it before, so I don't know if they all come running when you do start the robbing.

Oh, I have another story:

Grab the Jetpack. Find shotgun in Ash grave. Reach World 3, sacrifice yetis. Grab the Kapala. Get high bombs and health and climbing gloves and fun crap from altar. Get to World 4 and get scepter. Get more health and run from ghost. Get to last level where you gather stuff from top (then promptly fall from high heights). Rain bombs upon golden statue. Jetpack down and bomb further. Get surrounded by statue, wall and bombs, and get caught in bomb explosion. That was sad, I actually thought I was going to cry.

 

You can also throw a pot at one of them (a classic way to rob a shop without getting future shopkeepers mad at you.)

And everything on the screen will become free. It has to do with how the code is set up. Once a shopkeeper gets mad at you, his stuff loses its buyability attribute. In the black market this happens to everybody's stuff that is on the screen.

Keep away from the one angry shopkeeper, and/or steal his shotgun while he's down, and you should be set.

I have chronic kleptomania in that game.

Have you ever seen the LP of spelunky, "Iowa jack"?
Probably the worst death ever

Spoiler

He died right in front of the city of gold

 

Have you ever seen the LP of spelunky, "Iowa jack"?
Probably the worst death ever

Spoiler

He died right in front of the city of gold

*shivers*

I enjoyed this game a lot, had a great playthrough starting from level 1; rich, rich, rich!
Made it to the final level with maybe 1 life left? First time playing the last set of levels...

Final boss, I killed him, ran to the door and....

...
...
...

Some random barbarian guy falls from off screen near the top and MANAGES TO LAND ON ME RIGHT AT THE DOOR

...that was my last adventure...

 

I name this one ~Kali's Giving the Finger.~
You head out of the black market sporting a jetpack, ankh, around 20 bombs, and 5 health.
Kali's altar appears on the level, with tons of potential sacrifices. You whip a caveman, and he lands on and gets eaten by a man-eater. You whip the man-eater and book it to the altar, when the man-eater wakes up and eats your ankh (yes, this has happened to me twice - I like my kapala!). You whip the man-eater and sacrifice it, and get nothing. You grab a caveman and get him to the altar, where he wakes up and charges at you, hurting you. You jump on him and he dies (a spike trap must've hit him), so you sacrifice him. After you rescue the damsel, drop her, and have her eaten by a man-eater, you grab the man-eater and sacrifice him. You get the SPRING SHOES. Whoop-de-freaking-doo, I have a JETPACK you know. You go over to the right side of the altar to find some monies, and you see a bombfrog and accidentally jump on it while it's over the altar. Spiders fall, altar fail, F-. After all that, you try to reach the exit but the Ghost comes and insta-'s you.
THE END.

 

So the damsel ate herself how?
Also I love spelunky but am simply horrible at it.

 

So the damsel ate herself how?

I must be really asleep, I'll fix that.
Edit: fix'd.

 

I have died so very many times to my kleptomania.

Common Death 1: Throw a pot at a shopkeeper, steal his shotgun, the moron gets himself killed on spikes and I die to an angry shopkeeper in the next couple of levels
Common Death 2: I get the shopkeeper's shotgun, and he bashes me to death on a wall while I'm trying to sac him on the alter
Common death 3: While robbing the black market I run out of time and get killed by a ghost.

I don't have any really awful stories, Though I have died on the final boss after full runthroughs multiple times.

I like the Kapala, but I always get myself killed while trying to fill it with blood. Kinda counterproductive
I guess you could say my greatest enemy in spelunky is myself.

 

So I got the climbing gloves, cape, and like 25 bombs. I get to World 3 and sac some yetis for the spike shoes or something. Next level I fall down and grab on to the wall on the right side of the map. I do some platforming to the door on the other side, but somehow I end up hanging on the left wall under the platform with the door. I can't climb up the left side because the platform is attached to it. I don't have sticky bombs so I can't blow up the platform (would prolly blow me apart anyway). I try to jump off the wall and float to the other side, which was stupid. I died. After that I realized I could have used ropes to get up.

Story #2:
Start off level on top of psychic presence area, and altar to the right. Rain bombs upon alien and grab the jetpack. Sac yetis like there's no tomorrow, then try to get to the exit and die from FALL DAMAGE.

Also a common death: yeti throws both you and damsel into the abyss. Not fun.

 

First playthrough after the tutorial:

Went right and collect loots. Went down. Opened chest.
WHAT THE FU- BOOOOOOM!
-insert facemelter here-

 

I remember, the levelgen hated me, and I spawned on Level 1 with a Giant Spider no more than five blocks to the right.
I cannot tell you how many times i've fallen to my death, been bitten by snakes, or blown myself up. There's no way to count that high.
I've yet to make it out of area 1 legitimately more than twice.

 

Here's my list of extended stats, if anyone's interested.

Spoiler

+---------------------------+
|  SPELUNKY EXTENDED STATS  |
+---------------------------+
CRATES OPENED:	  1502
CHESTS OPENED:	  778
IDOLS GRABBED:	  605
IDOLS CONVERTED:    399
DAMSELS GRABBED:    846
KISSES BOUGHT:	  11
DAMSELS BOUGHT:	 8
DAMSELS SAVED:	  716
DAMSELS KILLED:	 146
ITEMS BOUGHT:	   559
ITEMS STOLEN:	   1427
DICE GAMES PLAYED:  870
DICE GAMES WON:	 513
DICE GAMES LOST:    352
LEVEL	    DEATHS
------------+------------
1		  | 428
2		  | 163
3		  | 113
4		  | 62
5		  | 65
6		  | 55
7		  | 22
8		  | 27
9		  | 16
10		 | 4
11		 | 8
12		 | 5
13		 | 19
14		 | 7
15		 | 8
16		 | 7
------------+------------
TOTAL	  | 1009
ENEMY	    DEATHS
------------+------------
???	    | 0
SNAKE	  | 38
SPIDER	 | 38
G. SPIDER  | 30
CAVEMAN    | 12
SKELETON   | 8
???	    | 0
???	    | 0
FROG	   | 22
FIRE FROG  | 4
MANTRAP    | 15
PIRANHA    | 3
???	    | 0
???	    | 0
???	    | 0
???	    | 0
UFO	    | 7
???	    | 0
???	    | 0
SHOPKEEPER | 148
TOMB LORD  | 4
???	    | 0
OLMEC	  | 4
GHOST	  | 17
MISC		 DEATHS
------------+------------
ROCK	   | 12
???	    | 0
CRUSHED    | 34
LONG FALL  | 73
SPIKES	 | 217
???	    | 0
ARROW TRAP | 93
SPEAR TRAP | 34
SMASH TRAP | 9
???	    | 0
PIT	    | 13
LAVA	   | 3
ENEMY	    KILLS
------------+------------
BAT	    | 2824
SNAKE	  | 4688
SPIDER	 | 2316
G. SPIDER  | 170
CAVEMAN    | 654
SKELETON   | 256
ZOMBIE	 | 127
VAMPIRE    | 10
FROG	   | 993
MONKEY	 | 266
FIRE FROG  | 219
MANTRAP    | 167
PIRANHA    | 120
MEGAMOUTH  | 3
YETI	   | 386
YETI KING  | 14
ALIEN	  | 12
UFO	    | 222
ALIEN BOSS | 6
HAWKMAN    | 364
SHOPKEEPER | 613
TOMB LORD  | 62
OLMEC	  | 23
------------+------------
TOTAL	  | 14515

As you can see I died in the first area the most, but that's just statistics (since you have to play through that area every time). Also if I ever made a silly mistake that cost me a hit point or something I would normally just kill myself.

 

one time, i grabbed the golden idol in world one, it made a boulder, and that rolled into a shop, which made the shopkeep mad, and not only that the rock trapped me in a tunnel with the angry shopkeep, and i had no bombs.

 

I'm new, but I don't have to tell anyone who played Spelunky this. The game is inspired by numerous others, INCLUDING CAVE STORY. As well as NetHack. And La-Mulana. The PC version is easy, but Spelunky, it can be for those with skill. My worst death? Getting hit by a stone I threw... twice. My fastest one? I accidentally pressed the bomb button, and blew myself to smithereens. My first win? After more than 1000 deaths (I think it was 1234, but I'm not certain) and it gets easier too.

Say, GIRakaCHEEZER, if you make it to Level 5 a few times, you may be able to pay the Tunnel Man into making a shortcut to Level 5. I think it costs 100 000 gold in total, but it increases by that same amount when you finally get the Tunnel Man between levels 8 and 9. Lastly, levels 12 and 13 should have him too, but only if the previous two shortcuts exist (and it costs 300 000 gold in total). In a previous version, it was possible to make a custom level, and play through it, only to complete it and CONTINUE to level 2, but I think that was one without the shortcuts between levels 12 and 13.

Another story: Once I made it to the Gold City, but before I could enter, my cat pressed the ESC button whilst walking to her food bowl, and in the process, also pressed the F10 button. Simba is, however, too cute for me to be angry at, so I'm never angry at her, even IF she scratches my right hand in such a way that I can't use it for a day or two (preventing me from using the mouse). Oh, and I like Levels 9 to 12, since I prefer coldness to heat.

 

Say, GIRakaCHEEZER, if you make it to Level 5 a few times, you may be able to pay the Tunnel Man into making a shortcut to Level 5. I think it costs 100 000 gold in total, but it increases by that same amount when you finally get the Tunnel Man between levels 8 and 9. Lastly, levels 12 and 13 should have him too, but only if the previous two shortcuts exist (and it costs 300 000 gold in total). In a previous version, it was possible to make a custom level, and play through it, only to complete it and CONTINUE to level 2, but I think that was one without the shortcuts between levels 12 and 13.

I know about the shortcut tunnels (I bought them all) but there's no real point in using them since you need the money from the first few levels (and they're easy) and there are things that you need from the first levels if you are planning to go to the city of gold.

 

Yeah, well, if you're lucky, you can start from Level 5, get a shotgun from a crate, kill a shopkeeper if he has something you need (I always kill those poor old guys... I'm evil, but I'm neutral-lawful? NetHack hates me, I guess), kill those exploding frogs that reveal the exit to the Black Market, survive the army of shopkeepers and steal the Ankh (I manage to do this AND reach the exit in one piece, but usually I rarely make it to Level 15). And reach level with Moai head, suicide near it to be revived inside, and all that, to get the Hedjet, attaining the scepter by killing the Mummy (where's Indiana Jones or those other people from The Mummy movies?) and reaching Level 14 alive, get into the city of gold, annihilate that golden statue thing, REACH THE EXIT AFTER BLOWING AN ANGRY SHOPKEEPER TO SMITHEREENS, REACH THE BOSS, BEAT HIM, and get a high score (maybe, if you didn't get higher once).

I managed to do that JUST ONCE. Of course, anything IS possible, and it's hard to win (see my first post in this topic), and with the funny way of losing by the paws of my cat? If I have offended you, GIRakaCHEEZER, I apologize. Suiciding? If I count the times I did that, then it would equal 1000 or more, thus I stopped doing it unless I was too stuck to continue. If ANYONE has complaints about anything I say, please, say so. Honesty NEVER hurts... Well, honesty DOES hurt in some cases...

Oh, and seeing as some people add their "Spelunky Stories" here, I'll add another one.

I was in Level 1. I walked all the way to the bottom, jumping on every snake I could find, and found a crate holding that knife-thing. I continued to level 2. I took the golden idol, and threw it down a snake pit. I ran to the highest hill I could find, but it caused me to land ON the boulder. It took me to a arms dealer, who tried to kill me when I broke his store with the boulder... but he got crushed. I stole his shotgun, running to the exit, only to run into a ghost, who I luckily evaded in the nick of time. At the end of Level 4, I had 1 health, 4 bombs and 2 ropes. Money was 4000.

Level 5, accidentally threw a bomb, but it hit a vamp, so I got a cape. I ran to the exit, shooting the shopkeeper out of range, and left. Levels 6 and 7, just shot stuff and killed shopkeepers, and accidentally sacrificed the damsel. I then went like, "oops, I guess that's the idol's curse" and jumped off a cliff, ready to kill myself, but I accidentally pressed the jump key again, so I landed safely. I continued to Level 8, but it turned out that two shopkeepers near the exit was hard. Beat them, I did... only to get grabbed by a yeti and thrown into a UFO, that exploded and sent me into an explosive (but free) funeral.