Dear Doctor Fabulous

I was reading a newspaper this morning. Apparently it's supposed to be a more reputable source of information than The Daily Show, if you're into reading about boring things. I came across one of those advice columns, and I thought "This advice doesn't seem very professional at all. It's almost as if the columnist is just using common knowledge. What kind of idiot needs this advice?"

So I decided to open an advice column just for you, CSTSF. You can ask me questions, ridiculous or serious, and I will use my outstanding knowledge of everything to answer it appropriately.*
*Note that I am not an actual doctor and may not actually give a crap. I will still answer the question, though.

Also note that this isn't in the Games sub-forum, because that place is a shit-hole and I plan on putting some time and effort into this thread. But, if someone feels like they can answer a question, go ahead and post your response. Please put some thought into it, though.

 

Dear Doctor Fabulous,

Every time I walk by the small community college in my town, I lol.
Is this normal?

 

Dear Doctor Fabulous,

Every time I walk by the small community college in my town, I lol.
Is this normal?

Well Cultr1, if you attend a real college or university, then yes. That pathetic community college deserves nothing but your scorn and ridicule. If you aren't in school, perhaps you are just egotistical and condescending. Consider going to college or university.

Now, if by "lol" you mean that you actually say "loll" or "el-oh-el" out loud, do it quietly, or you might get beaten up by somebody cooler than you. If you end up going to college, make sure you go for a Physics or Chemistry degree, because all your classmates will be just as nerdy.

I hope that helps!

 

Thank you Doctor Fabulous~

 

Why are you such a douche? :eek:

 

Why are you asking me personal questions in an advice column?

 

Dear Doctor Fabulous,
How is babby formed? How girl get pragnant?

 

Dear Doctor Fabulous,
How is babby formed? How girl get pragnant?

They need to do way instain mother> who kill thier babbys. becuse these babby cant frigth back? it was on the news this mroing a mother in ar who had kill her three kids. they are taking the three babby back to new york too lady to rest my pary are with the father who lost his children ; i am truley sorry for your lots

 

I'm sorry for Yakkers's lots too, the way he treats them! *shudder*

 

Dear Doctor Fabulous,

WHY DON'T THE PRESIDENTS FIGHT THE WAR?

 

The Russians would win that one.

 

WHY DO THEY ALWAYS SEND THE POOR?

 

Dear Doctor Fabulous,

WHY DON'T THE PRESIDENTS FIGHT THE WAR?

KNEELING ROSES DISAPPEARING INTO MOSES'S DRY MOUTH
BREAKING INTO FORT KNOX STEALING sorry I will stop now.

Presidents do not physically fight in the war because they are supposed to be qualified to run the whole thing. Modern technology makes it very easy for the presidents to issue orders from Washington to anywhere else. Someone like the President of the United States going to the front line and murdering twelve Afghanis at a time with a machine gun would certainly be a morale booster, but not a very efficient use of resources. And suppose he was killed? Then the vice president has to take over, and vice presidents are appointed, not elected. Personally I think this is a bad thing, and as System of a Down points out, "WE DON'T LIVE IN A FASCIST NATION."

I don't really think you want Obama to go out and shoot up the Middle East, anyway. That would put his life in danger. "B.Y.O.B." was released in 2005, when we all wanted the President to go far away from here and maybe get shot.

The idea of a nation's leader fighting alongside his countrymen on the battlefield is a relic from feudalism, where everyone was more bad-ass and kings were easier to replace than a 40 watt lightbulb. Now, we have to elect a new leader, and American elections are just so fun, aren't they?

In conclusion, Rush is the only band you should get political ideas from.

 

Why does merlinoboy keep coming back here?

 

Why does merlinoboy keep coming back here?

It's possible that he thinks we want him to be here:

Merlinoboy - September 7, 2010 02:45 PM (GMT)Harsh. Now don't push me. I'm already in a multi-ban on a other forum, which name I ain' tellin', and still i'm missed by a few... So whatever...

(I implore you to read that thread. It's hilarious. They hate him in that forum, too.)

It's possible that Merlinoboy is so egocentric that he doesn't understand that we don't want to read anything he says. Some people have this issue, and may only be helped through therapy or blunt force trauma.

I'd say that Merlinoboy has definitely developed an unhealthy obsession with these forums, and he considers being able to post here a victory of sorts. This fascination may have become sexual, and maybe Merlinoboy stays up at night fantasizing about penetrating our beautiful, tight php while using the banhammer as—

Um, yeah, you get the point. Kid's probably fucked up. Doesn't have any social interaction IRL and his parents don't love him enough.

 

Dear Admiral Fabulous,

How do you obtain such good reasoning skillizzles?

 

By actually reading what I type.
*Glares at several forum members*

Seriously, there's no rush to finish typing your post. Make yourself sound smart.

 

¿qerido cappin, por qué escribo sin mayúsculas?

 

¿qerido cappin, por qué escribo sin mayúsculas?

Traductor de Google es eficiente en la matanza español.

Encaje, creo que la razón por la se no usan las mayúsculas se debe a que quieren ser diferentes y notables sin estropear su escritura. Es fácil acostumbrarse a la lectura, si uno sabe que lo estás haciendo a propósito. Y tal vez usted quiere vender más barato que su inteligencia, sólo para que pueda sorprender a la gente. Sus conocimientos de idiomas me han sorprendido.

Or maybe there's no reason and you're just fucking with us.

 

What is this thread's purpose?