bad cookies

Mar 1, 2014 at 11:02 PM
Professional Whatever
"Life begins and ends with Nu."
Join Date: Jan 13, 2011
Location: Lasagna
Posts: 4489
Not mocking any other threads or anything, but this sounds fun
Maybe someone can make bad cookies from recipes and sacrifice their well-being for us anonymous forum members
Here goes:

MALCOOKIE

Ingredients
1 cup softened butter
1 cup salt
1 cup sugar
2 tablespoons vanilla extract
2 eggs
3 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
2 teaspoons hot water
1 semisweet chocolate chip
1 teaspoon vinegar

Directions
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
2. Stir in the butter, vinegar, sugar and salt until smooth. Pour in eggs (with shells) one at a time, then stir in the vanilla extract. Dissolve baking soda in hot water. Add to batter. Stir in flour and chocolate chip. Drop by large spoonfuls onto ungreased pans.
3. Bake for 10 minutes, or until edges are a golden black.

I totally did not steal this recipe from a recipe site
 
Mar 1, 2014 at 11:44 PM
daughter of chivalry
"Bleep, Bloop, Bleep, Bloop"
Join Date: Jun 12, 2009
Location: Edge of the universe
Posts: 1608
Mar 2, 2014 at 3:15 AM
Administrator
Forum Administrator
"Life begins and ends with Nu."
Join Date: Jul 15, 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 6191
Age: 36
Just to fix Doors' recipe, because he's clearly doing it wrong:

Ingredients
1 cup softened butter
2 cups salt
2 eggs
3 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
2 tablespoons vinegar

Directions
1. Preheat oven to 210 degrees C.
2. Stir in the butter, vinegar, and salt until smooth. Pour in eggs one at a time. Stir in baking soda and flour. Drop by large spoonfuls onto ungreased pans.
3. Bake for 10 minutes, or until edges are a golden black.
 
Mar 2, 2014 at 3:56 AM
daughter of chivalry
"Bleep, Bloop, Bleep, Bloop"
Join Date: Jun 12, 2009
Location: Edge of the universe
Posts: 1608
2 cups of salt is definitely still a good idea though. Pinches are for wusses
 
Mar 2, 2014 at 4:06 AM
In my body, in my head
Forum Moderator
"Life begins and ends with Nu."
Join Date: Aug 28, 2009
Location: The Purple Zone
Posts: 6000
okay I ain't trying this shit y'all a bunch of bustas
 
Mar 2, 2014 at 4:17 AM
Its dark in here
"Deaths: 4000"
Join Date: Nov 21, 2013
Location: farther
Posts: 922
Age: 25
I would make them (try them I'm not sure...) but I usually have enough cookie supplies to make cookies twice a month.

and is it salted butter or unsalted butter?
 
Mar 2, 2014 at 5:03 AM
The TideWalker
Modding Community Discord Founder
"That dog!"
Join Date: Apr 5, 2013
Location: In my mind and of my body.
Posts: 1637
Age: 24
Goerge Bobicles said:
and is it salted butter or unsalted butter?
I'm sure that there's plenty of salt in those cookies already.

as in really sure.

I'll prolly make them tomorrow or the day after and post my results. (testing both doors and andy's recipe)
 
Mar 2, 2014 at 5:59 AM
Best Cow
"Life begins and ends with Nu."
Join Date: Jun 27, 2013
Location:
Posts: 2635
Age: 27
Goerge Bobicles said:
I would make them (try them I'm not sure...) but I usually have enough cookie supplies to make cookies twice a month.

and is it salted butter or unsalted butter?
Salted. Gotta have plenty of salt to get the gout put in those cookies.
 
Mar 2, 2014 at 2:17 PM
Administrator
Forum Administrator
"Life begins and ends with Nu."
Join Date: Jul 15, 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 6191
Age: 36
The more salt the merrier!
 
Mar 2, 2014 at 7:31 PM
Forever 12
"Big Joe Tire and Battery Restaurant! Opening Soon! Eat at Big Joes!"
Join Date: May 24, 2013
Location:
Posts: 540
My Crap-tastic Cookie recipe!

Ingredients:
10 Eggs(with shells)
1/4 tsp Milk
1/4 of a chocolate chip
9 Cups of flour
1/4 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp sugar
1 Homework Math Sheet
1 Copy of Action 52 (NES preferably)
1 Copy of Bubsy the Bobcat (1st game GENESIS preferably)
1 Copy of Awesome Possum Genesis
1 Copy of Sonic 06 (PS3 preferably)
9000 Cups of Salt
1 Cup of Urine (Human, Bears Gryll it!)

Steps:

1: Pour ingredients into an Bike Helmet.
2: Get an blender.
3: Mix it all up.
4: Put it on a cookie sheet.
5: Poop on it for good luck.
6: Put it in the oven.
7: Bake for 10 hours, or until golden black/ end of eternity.
8: Barf!
9: Eat your own barf (it came out of you in the first place, put it back there!)
10: Don't enjoy!
 
Mar 2, 2014 at 9:24 PM
Amaya
Discord Group Moderator
"What're YOU lookin' at?"
Join Date: Jan 18, 2013
Location: Somewhere quiet with many birds
Posts: 1120
Age: 22
The description of your cookie alone is yucky. √.√

Anyway, I don't appreciate abuse of the innocent cookie, so I have nothing to contribute to this thread.
 
Mar 2, 2014 at 10:57 PM
Administrator
Forum Administrator
"Life begins and ends with Nu."
Join Date: Jul 15, 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 6191
Age: 36
Parkraft123 said:
My Crap-tastic Cookie recipe!

Ingredients:
10 Eggs(with shells)
1/4 tsp Milk
1/4 of a chocolate chip
9 Cups of flour
1/4 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp sugar
1 Homework Math Sheet
1 Copy of Action 52 (NES preferably)
1 Copy of Bubsy the Bobcat (1st game GENESIS preferably)
1 Copy of Awesome Possum Genesis
1 Copy of Sonic 06 (PS3 preferably)
9000 Cups of Salt
1 Cup of Urine (Human, Bears Gryll it!)

Steps:

1: Pour ingredients into an Bike Helmet.
2: Get an blender.
3: Mix it all up.
4: Put it on a cookie sheet.
5: Poop on it for good luck.
6: Put it in the oven.
7: Bake for 10 hours, or until golden black/ end of eternity.
8: Barf!
9: Eat your own barf (it came out of you in the first place, put it back there!)
10: Don't enjoy!
You don't even have enough fluids (eggs, milk and urine) to even do anything with that much salt let alone the flour. You would end up with a pile of unmixed raw ingredients on a tray. If you did have enough fluids then with so little egg and flour compared to the salt the balls would not hold together, the result would be random assorted crap in a salt brick, not cookies. Given the exercise is not to purposefully fail at making cookies, but rather to make bad cookies, this is an absolute failure.
 
Mar 2, 2014 at 11:34 PM
Professional Whatever
"Life begins and ends with Nu."
Join Date: Jan 13, 2011
Location: Lasagna
Posts: 4489
relax andy
not everyone can be a master of making bad cookies
it's just for fun, it's not a competition or anything
 
Mar 2, 2014 at 11:48 PM
Forever 12
"Big Joe Tire and Battery Restaurant! Opening Soon! Eat at Big Joes!"
Join Date: May 24, 2013
Location:
Posts: 540
its still a bad cookie, isn't it?
 
Mar 3, 2014 at 12:02 AM
The TideWalker
Modding Community Discord Founder
"That dog!"
Join Date: Apr 5, 2013
Location: In my mind and of my body.
Posts: 1637
Age: 24
Parkraft123 said:
its still a bad cookie, isn't it?
It's not even a cookie at that point or even attempting to resemble one.
 
Mar 3, 2014 at 12:25 AM
Forever 12
"Big Joe Tire and Battery Restaurant! Opening Soon! Eat at Big Joes!"
Join Date: May 24, 2013
Location:
Posts: 540
ITS BAD THATS ALL THAT MATTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Mar 3, 2014 at 3:54 AM
Its dark in here
"Deaths: 4000"
Join Date: Nov 21, 2013
Location: farther
Posts: 922
Age: 25
my bad cookie recipe

1/2 cup white sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
2 sticks of margarine
3 egg whites (toss the yokes, or eat them if you want.)
1/2 cup salt
1/4 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp yeast
1 tbs almond extract
0-2 cup of pulverized zinfandel grapes
1 1/2 cup carb free flour

preheat oven to 355 degrees C

combine sugars and margarine till kind of smooth

add whites, almond extract and mix hard

stir in baking soda, yeast, flour, and grapes

bake 13 cookies for 24 minutes or until the edges are the shade of this dog's fur
p180712-0-blackgoldenretriever.jpg


if they taste burnt at all, put them back in the oven until they are the shade of this cat's fur
p180712-1-fd9bd1bcc80e3d63c00b0193da2f796dbp.jpg
 
Mar 3, 2014 at 6:20 AM
Perpetually out of it
"Big Joe Tire and Battery Restaurant! Opening Soon! Eat at Big Joes!"
Join Date: Oct 6, 2013
Location: Absent
Posts: 492
Age: 21
Parkraft123 said:
ITS BAD THATS ALL THAT MATTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So with that logic in mind, JPEG, Kristen Stewart's acting, and Sonic 06 all count as 'bad cookies'.





Magnificent.
 
Top