^, *, V!

^ fails at grammar (at least this time, maybe not in general)
* has FEWER than 9000 posts (but over 9000 internets)
V has fewer than 9000 internets (but over 9000 billion dollars)

 

^ One of the greatest composers EVAR!!! (Piano wise)
* has over 9000 billion dollars and is doing your mum!
V Will recieve a free cookie!

 

^ won't have his 9000 billion dollars anymore after doing my mum.
* took the "free cookie" by force
V will have to suffer through watching me savor the heavenly deliciousness of the aforementioned cookie.

 

^ Will have nothing after he eats the cookie.
* Is the local cookie-giver.
V Shall not get a cookie. Unless s/he makes me laugh out loud.

 

^'s cookie is rejected by *
* fuckin' loves cornbread
V will get no cornbread because * ate it all

 

^: Can have his cornbread.
*: heard u like cornbread, so i put a cornbread in your cornbread so you can nom while you nom
v: Will attempt to kill me for citing a shitty meme.

 

^ can has cornbread.
* will kill you twice for shitting a citey meme twice.
v is whatever the singular of sheeple is.

 

^ Isn't anymore
* Responded to ^'s comment about * with "What?"
V Probably is

 

^: Got hit by a forum assassin mid-sentance, but fell onto the submit button.
*: Got in shit for starting an essay on racism and politics with "I have a dream..."
v: Is sexually excited by the concept of a blimp-borne nuclear silo.

 

^ just got me on a new fetish, congrats...
* is joking
V thought I was serious

 

^Thought i Thought That he Thought That i THought He Was Serious
*Has A Secret Ultimate Form!
V His Worst Rival

 

^ Thought that I thought that he thought that I thought that he thought that I was serious
* Merely thought that ^ thought that I was serious.
V Thinks that I think that ^ thinks that V thinks that I need to shut the fuck up.

 

^ is right
* thinks that ^ is wrong
v thinks that * is wrong about thinking that V thinks that ^ is wrong about * being right about shutting the heck up.

 

^ self-contradictory
* did not shut the fuck/heck up
V did not expect * to shut the fuck/heck up

 

^: Got c-c-c-c-combo breaker'd.
*: Is uploading warez. O:
v: Wants said warez, but can't has them because they're for strictly-legal personal back-up purposes.

 

^ Is dumb enough to think I want said warez
* Is dumb enough to think I want said warez
V Is dumb enough to think I want said warez

 

^ Is dumb enough to want said warez.
* Has a USSR flag on his table.
V Haets pizza.

 

^ Lives in Soviet Russia.
* Luv pepperoni
v In Soviet Russia, pizza haet u!

 

^: In Soviet Canada, hate pizzas you!
*: Is uploading moar warez for his reasons.
v: Will try to guess where said warez are.

 

^ Is uploading warez to his SkyDrive.
* Thinks System Shock II is too friggin hard.
v Either hasn't played it or will contradict me.