The "No Shitposting" Game

Jul 31, 2014 at 12:54 AM
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This is a real simple game that's gaining traction everywhere on the intertubes[1]. The rules are simple:

1. Don't shitpost.
2. If you make a shitty post, you lose.
3. If you accuse someone's post of being shitty by writing a shitty post, you also lose.
4. No swearing.

So obviously the quality of posts is mostly subjective. It may take a while to come to a consensus on whether or not a post is shitty; that's fine, since meta-discussion seems like the only thing we can all get behind.

The penalty for losing is that everyone knows you're a shitposter. You can rejoin the game if you stop doing that, I guess. Kicking people out of the thread would rapidly turn it into a circlejerk, or at least a boring-ass conversation between three people.

Starter topic: Will Hollywood ever be capable of innovation again, or is it doomed to stagnate on sequels and spin-offs until the whole industry shifts focus? I find it really hard to be interested in films when my choices are Superhero Reboot 5 or some fuckin indie documentary filmed on an iPad.

P.S. You don't win the entire thread by saying this is a shitpost, nice try though.
 
Jul 31, 2014 at 1:04 AM
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Circumcision
 
Jul 31, 2014 at 1:07 AM
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Jul 31, 2014 at 1:16 AM
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The problem with the film industry is that it's powered by mass market appeal. If you can sell a superhero movie to 3 million socially retarded manchildren who'll go and bring their entire families twice just because it has "iron man" in the cast, why would you ever bother taking the risk to create something innovative and refreshing? Movies these days aren't created by artists, they're created by marketing teams.
The mainstream gaming industry suffers from exactly the same problem, only instead of selling to 30-somethings who are trying to desperately cling to familiar icons from their youth in an ever-changing world that they're rapidly losing touch with, they instead sell to attention-deprived teens and young adults that are crunked up on MONSTER N-R-G and pent-up sexual energy

Film is too hard to break into for anyone who's into it for the love of the craft. Either that or it's gonna be that ipad indie film that is 90% pretentious bullshit.
 
Jul 31, 2014 at 1:34 AM
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Noxid said:
The problem with the film industry is that it's powered by mass market appeal. If you can sell a superhero movie to 3 million socially retarded manchildren who'll go and bring their entire families twice just because it has "iron man" in the cast, why would you ever bother taking the risk to create something innovative and refreshing? Movies these days aren't created by artists, they're created by marketing teams.
The mainstream gaming industry suffers from exactly the same problem, only instead of selling to 30-somethings who are trying to desperately cling to familiar icons from their youth in an ever-changing world that they're rapidly losing touch with, they instead sell to attention-deprived teens and young adults that are crunked up on MONSTER N-R-G and pent-up sexual energy

Film is too hard to break into for anyone who's into it for the love of the craft. Either that or it's gonna be that ipad indie film that is 90% pretentious bullshit.
I totally agree, we lack so much good content nowadays.

Actually I just finished reading a decent fanfic that I read on one sitting for the last 2 hours.

It seems that the people that work for free do the best quality work anymore sadly...



Hmm, It looks like you need a constant internet connection to play Xbox one games, and you can only play in offline mode for up to half an hour before the system refuses to let you continue.
 
Jul 31, 2014 at 1:56 AM
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I'm pretty sure the Xbox one offline thing was changed, it was only like that before it was actually released.
 
Jul 31, 2014 at 2:18 AM
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I wonder if, given massive amounts of time, our current marketing/selling/whatever strategies will become less effective? It seems everyone does the same things and I wonder how that will work out in time. (Probably with dooooooom.)

I don't know much about marketing and such, so anything else I could say would be pulled out of thin air.

Also, is there some hidden clever point to Bobbyis' one word post that I'm missing? o.o
 
Jul 31, 2014 at 2:26 AM
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I was going to make the starter topic circumcision to guarantee discussion, but I wasn't really because jesus christ what an awful idea.

Anyway. People will pay to watch whatever they want to see. If a lot of people want to see Iron Man 12, there's not much anybody can do but make Iron Man 12. What I wonder about is all the people like me who want to watch movies that don't have obligatory fistfights, obligatory romance subplots, and/or obligatory Owen Wilsons. What are we supposed to do? Should I really just get Netflix and keep browsing until I find something I like? That's one way to avoid the issue, but it won't change anything. Netflix seems to be changing TV series, but not movies. Hollywood has so much inertia that, like, what the fuck can anyone do?
 
Jul 31, 2014 at 2:32 AM
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There are like, a hundred years of movies that are out there and I am pretty sure that you haven't seen ALL of the good ones. I'd recommend just pirating some classic 80s/90s films that you might've missed on account of not being born yet.
I don't know what you've actually seen but yknow, watch something like Uncle Buck or Escanaba In Da Moonlight. You know. The good stuff.

I generally think older movies are easier to watch than modern blockbusters just cuz they had to budget their exploding cars before CGI came around
 
Jul 31, 2014 at 3:33 AM
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Why take chances on a movie that may or may not make it when this other movie surely will. It's about the balance of risk and investment.

I think this applies more strongly to the western video game industry these days, oh, and television programming. There will come a time when TV will showcase nothing but procedural cop shows, soap operas, and reality tv. Call of Duty 172 will be a bestseller I'm sure. I've even heard how this is starting to happen to the book industry.

My point is that this isn't an isolated affair.

Regarding OTT blockbuster movies, these movies have slowly pushed our upper boundaries of what Human achievement should be capable of reaching to near inhuman levels. Then CGI comes in and only a massive spectacle can justify its inclusion. Personally that's what I love about the current James Bond films, less OTT BS.

Then we have big name actors... While we care not to admit it, there are people out there who remember a movie as "the movie that (actor's name) was in" rather than the movie title.
 
Jul 31, 2014 at 3:46 AM
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Noxid said:
Escanaba In Da Moonlight.
I can't tell if you bringing up this movie is the greatest blessing or greatest curse you've brought upon this forum.

It's hard for me not to shitpost because I really don't have anything useful to say more than half the time but uh let's try anyway. Movies generally disappoint me, so I rarely bother with them in the first place. Hell, I have no idea what's even out in theaters right now or what's considered "good". On the off chance I'm actually in a theater, I just cringe and facepalm at every preview I see because it's either:
-Dumb kids movie with overused jokes and generic_fart_sound.mp4
-Action movie with an obligatory split second make-out scene spliced into the "exciting" parts.
-Something involving Marvel superheroes
-Comedy film with Mcfarlane-grade humor featuring either Jonah Hill, Seth Rogan, or Funny Male Actor 2. Let's not forget to throw in fat funny actress whose entire schtick revolves around her being fat. Or a black person.

But I know there's no chance in changing Hollywood anytime soon, or at all. I just don't pay attention anymore so I'm not too fired up about the whole thing. When I do watch films, it's usually animated or something lesser known. Because I'm a pretentious weeaboo loser.

New topic: How much foreskin is TOO much foreskin?
 
Jul 31, 2014 at 3:53 AM
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Wild Desu said:
Funny Male Actor 2
I heard they let Adam Sandler out of his cage again

Is that guy ever going to stop playing the role of "adam sandler"? What's going to happen when he dies? Do they still need more time to perfect SandlerBot?
What would happen if Nicolas Cage and Adam Sandler co-starred in a quirky romantic comedy about an unlikely duo that has to steal the declaration of independence so they can pass the 5th grade?

Actually, with some tweaks that could probably be a reimagining of Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure.
 
Jul 31, 2014 at 4:06 AM
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Jul 31, 2014 at 4:33 AM
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Noxid said:
The problem with the film industry is that it's powered by mass market appeal. If you can sell a superhero movie to 3 million socially retarded manchildren who'll go and bring their entire families twice just because it has "iron man" in the cast, why would you ever bother taking the risk to create something innovative and refreshing? Movies these days aren't created by artists, they're created by marketing teams.
I've been looking at programming language design recently, and what I've noticed is that there are basically two classes of successful language: those which are made/commissioned by industry giants, and those which are made by scholars, people who are mostly interested in pushing the envelope and not so interested in what other people care about.

The first category, of course, gives you the gajillions of C++ lookalikes. Often these languages just take what works, and port it into a new environment. Ex: PHP, arguably the worst creation of mankind, is wildly successful because it was the first in its niche and is easy to pick up for those who know any mainstream language. Industry languages, if they become popular, do so immediately after they arise, or not at all.

The second category is made of such perennial cult favorites as Haskell and Lisp. No normal person is ever going to learn these languages, so they get all the neato features, and 50 years later somebody's using C++ and's like "man, I'd really love me some lambda expressions" and BLAMMO we get C#. Features creep from these languages into the more mainstream ones as people wise up, and the normalization of their features in turn causes the languages to become more popular.


The interesting thing here to me are the two adaption cycles:
group A: immediate popularity or none at all
group B: little-to no popularity, followed by a slow rise which could last who-knos-how-long. (lisp iirc is more than 70 years old)

This mirrors, at least superficially, two main classes of movie. The big budget films are either wildly popular or suck, and then they tend to burn out. Nobody gets transformers on DVD to watch over and over again. On the flipside, you have something like Donnie Darko, which sucked balls in the box office, but continues to be bought, rewatched, and discussed, 20 years postmortem.

The driving point there is that a marketer trained in the fine art of calculus might see that there really is a niche for movies made by artists. As far as return per investment goes, cult classics really, REALLY stomp the big budget films. It's not unimaginable that these things are being made, but they're just a wee bit harder to find.

***

I would also tend to disagree with the big budget = sux line of thought. Gladiator, LoTR, Pirates of the Caribbean, anything by PiXAR.. all those were made with huge-ass budgets, and I thought all were actually worth watching.
 
Jul 31, 2014 at 4:40 AM
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What the fu­ck d­id you just fu­cking say about me, you little bit­ch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fu­ck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fu­cking words. You think you can get away with saying that sh­it to me over the Internet? Think again, fu­cker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fu­cking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little sh­it. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fu­cking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you godd­amn idiot. I will s­hit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fu­cking dead, kiddo.
 
Jul 31, 2014 at 4:49 AM
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I have a question at the OP: why the hell would anyone want to film an entire documentary on their iPad? They were barely designed to function like a camera, and even if you were to use it like a camera or camcorder it would be awkward as hell to use it as well.

Also regarding Adam Sandler I hear that on the premiers of his movies he just goes in really really causal clothing, seeming like he just doesn't care.
 
Jul 31, 2014 at 4:51 AM
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ShinyElectricBlueTiger said:
why the hell would anyone want to film an entire documentary on their iPad?
This actually sounds like something we should ask to that Catfish guy.
 
Jul 31, 2014 at 4:52 AM
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Wild Desu said:
New topic: How much foreskin is TOO much foreskin?
WELL.
Foreskin is pretty great.
I have a lot more nerve endings than a snipped dude.
But if there's like a big puddle of foreskin, then that's probably going too far.

So the magic amount is:
Enough to cover the peen when flaccid, but to be a little bit revealing when erect?
 
Jul 31, 2014 at 5:19 AM
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Noxid said:
I heard they let Adam Sandler out of his cage again

Is that guy ever going to stop playing the role of "adam sandler"? What's going to happen when he dies? Do they still need more time to perfect SandlerBot?
What would happen if Nicolas Cage and Adam Sandler co-starred in a quirky romantic comedy about an unlikely duo that has to steal the declaration of independence so they can pass the 5th grade?

Actually, with some tweaks that could probably be a reimagining of Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure.
When I said funny actors, I mostly meant the current generation of young funny guys. Jonah Hill, James Franco, every guy that starred in Superbad and other such movies etc etc. Guys like Adam Sandler, Ben Stiller, and Rube Schneider are dying breeds of an old generation. RIP.

I would pitch that idea to hollywood though. I'd even watch it.

bigbadwoof said:
WELL.
Foreskin is pretty great.
I have a lot more nerve endings than a snipped dude.
But if there's like a big puddle of foreskin, then that's probably going too far.

So the magic amount is:
Enough to cover the peen when flaccid, but to be a little bit revealing when erect?
Yes. We don't want it to look like a sandworm
 
Jul 31, 2014 at 5:32 AM
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ZarroTsu said:
*Guitar Riff*
shit

Doors said:
epic meme
pos

TLincoln said:
This actually sounds like something we should ask to that Catfish guy.
tan

You all lose. You're fucking dead, kiddoes.


ShinyElectricBlueTiger said:
I have a question at the OP: why the hell would anyone want to film an entire documentary on their iPad? They were barely designed to function like a camera, and even if you were to use it like a camera or camcorder it would be awkward as hell to use it as well.
It was an iPhone.

ShinyElectricBlueTiger said:
Also regarding Adam Sandler I hear that on the premiers of his movies he just goes in really really causal clothing, seeming like he just doesn't care.
Think about it from his perspective though. You're Adam Fucking Sandler and you're a Big Goddamn Deal still. You've been in a million of these stupid summer comedy flicks, so maybe the first screening of each and every one doesn't feel special anymore. You decide to stop kidding yourself and everyone around you, and just wear whatever. I won't hold it against him for not wearing a tuxedo to Blended or whatever, because who honestly gives a shit.

Like, how many movies would you have to star in before it stopped being a big deal? Sandler's getting old, and he's been an actor since before I could use a toilet. Heck, acting used to be exciting for me, but now I don't care. Just do a good job, get it over with, and have some beers with the rest of the cast.

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or cream soda or whatever



P.S. We are not talking about foreskin. Stop it. I swear to Christ I will turn this thread around.
 
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