May 30, 2010 at 5:26 PM
Join Date: Apr 5, 2008
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go fist a white whore.
-
Hey everyone happy Christmas Eve we're aware of what's happened with the source code so to keep this simple absolutely don't post it on the site or use it to make mods with (it's not particularly preferable toward this end anyway) and tread lightly in general until we see how this settles, thanks to all and have a great holiday season -DT
Terrible Joke/Pun Thread
- Thread starter Mr. Fist
- Start date
May 30, 2010 at 8:41 PM
Join Date: Feb 13, 2010
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Schokobecher said:
what the fuck?
May 31, 2010 at 4:57 AM
Cold Agony of Resolute Vacuum
"Heavy swords for sale. Suitable for most RPG Protagonists. Apply now!"
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What do you call 1 politician on the moon? A problem.
What do you call 10 politicians on the moon? A problem.
What do you call 100 politicians on the moon? A problem.
What do you call all the politicians on the moon? Problem solved.
What do you call 10 politicians on the moon? A problem.
What do you call 100 politicians on the moon? A problem.
What do you call all the politicians on the moon? Problem solved.
May 31, 2010 at 3:29 PM
Join Date: Feb 13, 2010
Location: undead parish
Posts: 625
Starfish are all alchoholics-
That's why beaches are covered in cans and you never see a starfish standing up.
That's why beaches are covered in cans and you never see a starfish standing up.
Jun 1, 2010 at 9:40 PM
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DragonBoots said:
Replace the word politician with Mexican and you have another good joke.
(by the way, I'm not racist. I have mexicans in my family.)
Jun 2, 2010 at 2:06 AM
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"This is the greatest handgun ever made! You have to ask yourself, do I feel lucky?"
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ragnaroq said:
You have singlehandedly PWNED Bill Gates. Nice work, good sir.
Jun 3, 2010 at 1:57 AM
Cold Agony of Resolute Vacuum
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Really? I hear there's a pill for that.Drunken Applesauce said:
Not quite.cultr1 said:
Also, Holocaust jokes aren't funny, Anne Frankly, I won't stand for them.
Jun 3, 2010 at 4:34 AM
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"This is the greatest handgun ever made! You have to ask yourself, do I feel lucky?"
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ragnaroq said:
Nice one!
So the doc says "rectum? nearly killed him!"
Jun 3, 2010 at 8:22 PM
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And in the stock market today, helium was up, feathers were down. Paper was stationary.
James Bond once slept right through an earthquake.
He was shaken; not stirred.
The best way to make an apple crumble: torture it for 10 minutes.
James Bond once slept right through an earthquake.
He was shaken; not stirred.
The best way to make an apple crumble: torture it for 10 minutes.
Jun 4, 2010 at 1:33 AM
graters gonna grate
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This one time I was playing rummy with some people, and someone put down a group of fours, and I'm like "Use the fours, Luke" and there was just this big silence.
...
It might have actually been funny if the person's name had been Luke (which it wasn't).
Or maybe not...
...
It might have actually been funny if the person's name had been Luke (which it wasn't).
Or maybe not...
Jun 5, 2010 at 4:33 PM
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Hey I just thought this one up
Why did the blonde increase her desktop resolution?
Why did the blonde increase her desktop resolution?
To make her files smaller
Jun 6, 2010 at 12:19 AM
Sherlock Holmes and Watson go camping, and the set up their tent under the stars. After an hour or so of silence, Holmes tries to strike up a conversation.
"Watson, look up at the sky. What do you see?" he asks.
"I see stars, sir," the young man asks.
"What can you deduce, Watson?"
"Well, there are millions of stars," he starts, "and if even a tiny percentage of them can support life on orbiting planets, and only a small percentage of those actually have planets, then on some planet, somewhre in the galaxy, someone may be looking at Earth from their planet, and so maybe we are not alo-" Watson is interrupted by the Great Detective.
"Watson, you idiot, somebody stole our tent!"
"Watson, look up at the sky. What do you see?" he asks.
"I see stars, sir," the young man asks.
"What can you deduce, Watson?"
"Well, there are millions of stars," he starts, "and if even a tiny percentage of them can support life on orbiting planets, and only a small percentage of those actually have planets, then on some planet, somewhre in the galaxy, someone may be looking at Earth from their planet, and so maybe we are not alo-" Watson is interrupted by the Great Detective.
"Watson, you idiot, somebody stole our tent!"
Jun 6, 2010 at 2:25 AM
Cold Agony of Resolute Vacuum
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A rabbi, a priest and an athiest decide to go on a fishing trip.
While out on the lake, the rabbi realized he forgot his lunch, and in a decidedly miraculous manner, walks across the lake to the shore, picks up his lunch and returns.
After a little while the priest runs out of bait and so, much as the rabbi, walks across the lake and returns a little while later.
This caught the attention of the athiest, who was now getting a little thristy. He steps off the boat and ends up in the water, wetter than a fish.
While the athiest hauled himself back into the boat, the priest turns to the rabbi and says: "Guess we should've told him about the stepping stones, eh?"
The rabbi replies: "What stepping stones?"
While out on the lake, the rabbi realized he forgot his lunch, and in a decidedly miraculous manner, walks across the lake to the shore, picks up his lunch and returns.
After a little while the priest runs out of bait and so, much as the rabbi, walks across the lake and returns a little while later.
This caught the attention of the athiest, who was now getting a little thristy. He steps off the boat and ends up in the water, wetter than a fish.
While the athiest hauled himself back into the boat, the priest turns to the rabbi and says: "Guess we should've told him about the stepping stones, eh?"
The rabbi replies: "What stepping stones?"
Jun 6, 2010 at 10:01 PM
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Two blondes are walking in a forest when they come upon a set of tracks. One of them says they're deer tracks, and the other believes they are certainly bear tracks. The two argue about it until the train comes along and hits them both.
Jul 13, 2010 at 6:14 PM
graters gonna grate
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A couple is getting married and while the priest is up there talking about "serving together in the name of Jesus" and all that jazz, the groom notices this insanely hot chick sitting in the front row, and he mutters an obnoxious, sexist comment under his breath. His wife-to-be, profoundly fed up with hearing him say this kind of crap, snaps and kicks him as hard as she can in the balls. As he stands there, clutching his genitals in agony, she screams at him "YOU BETTER STOP THAT SHIT RIGHT NOW OR THAT'S WHAT YOU'LL HAVE TO DEAL WITH FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!!!". He replies, "I'm sorry honey, but I just can't change my ways! It's who I am!" The priest, upon seeing these antics, decided to make a slight modification to his speech, and says "Speak now or forever hold your penis."