Jul 11, 2010 at 12:41 AM
Join Date: Apr 19, 2009
Location:
Posts: 3788
Age: 17
It's not made perfectly clear in the game, but much is implied. We don't really know where the hell Balrog came from or why he stuck around for so long. The subject was touched upon in this thread, but the discussion was insufficient for me. I have a wild theory that I only deem worthy of posting because it's more interesting than "He is a robat who is also Misery's frand."
Jenka imprisoned Ballos on the Island, along with the Core, for being a crazy motherfucker. Before this, he was a good citizen that had everybody's best interest at heart. Misery, on the other hand, was the power-hungry sorceress type, who wanted to be as or more powerful than her uncle. Maybe it's like the Force, where evil can never be as powerful as good, or maybe she just wasn't talented enough, or maybe she was too distracted by her lover, Balrog.
Yes.
They were lovers.
Now, before you get the Internet Rule 34 Machine all warmed up, let me explain.
Waaay back then, Balrog was human. Maybe he had a less retarded name, too. Misery (who really did have that stupid name) and Balrog were deeply in love, and they were going to get married and everything. You see, for the most part, Misery was heartless and greedy, but she had an enormous soft spot for Balrog.
However, before they could get married, all this shit about her uncle exploding kind of put off the marriage plans. Poor Misery and Balrog. There was also the fact that Balrog was severely injured in the storm of magic Ballos unleashed, and would have died if Misery didn't intervene. She magically preserved his brain and put it in some kind of awesome steampunk robot. Unfortunately, it was a box-shaped steampunk robot (they weren't that advanced). Their love could never be the same again, but at least they had each other.
All this disappointment put Misery in the mood for taking over the kingdom that Ballos had so inconveniently destroyed, conveniently making it ripe for takeover, but she still wasn't a very good sorceress.
Now, Good Ballos would never have agreed to make something like the Demon Crown. However, after he went insane and got shoved in a floating ball of dirt, Misery saw an opportunity and took it. She flew up there on Balrog, did Hell in 5'43"6 (without the boss fight, that's not very good, but it was her first time), and convinced Crazy Ballos to make the Crown. It enslaved her and Balrog, who she had an extremely strong emotional connection to. This kind of makes sense. Use your imagination.
Misery and Balrog were cursed to do the Crown Bearer's bidding. The curse was particularly harsh on Misery because of her strong magic powers,bitchy personality and stupid name.
At least they had each other, right?
Lots can change in a couple thousand years. It's hard to stay in love that long, especially when you are engaged to a toaster. So this explains their relationship. They appear to be bitter rivals at first, but their understanding of each other goes much deeper than that, even if they broke up a really fucking long time ago.
MAN THAT WAS A LOT OF WORDS.
Now, you might think this is ridiculous:
Jenka imprisoned Ballos on the Island, along with the Core, for being a crazy motherfucker. Before this, he was a good citizen that had everybody's best interest at heart. Misery, on the other hand, was the power-hungry sorceress type, who wanted to be as or more powerful than her uncle. Maybe it's like the Force, where evil can never be as powerful as good, or maybe she just wasn't talented enough, or maybe she was too distracted by her lover, Balrog.
Yes.
They were lovers.
Now, before you get the Internet Rule 34 Machine all warmed up, let me explain.
Waaay back then, Balrog was human. Maybe he had a less retarded name, too. Misery (who really did have that stupid name) and Balrog were deeply in love, and they were going to get married and everything. You see, for the most part, Misery was heartless and greedy, but she had an enormous soft spot for Balrog.
However, before they could get married, all this shit about her uncle exploding kind of put off the marriage plans. Poor Misery and Balrog. There was also the fact that Balrog was severely injured in the storm of magic Ballos unleashed, and would have died if Misery didn't intervene. She magically preserved his brain and put it in some kind of awesome steampunk robot. Unfortunately, it was a box-shaped steampunk robot (they weren't that advanced). Their love could never be the same again, but at least they had each other.
All this disappointment put Misery in the mood for taking over the kingdom that Ballos had so inconveniently destroyed, conveniently making it ripe for takeover, but she still wasn't a very good sorceress.
Now, Good Ballos would never have agreed to make something like the Demon Crown. However, after he went insane and got shoved in a floating ball of dirt, Misery saw an opportunity and took it. She flew up there on Balrog, did Hell in 5'43"6 (without the boss fight, that's not very good, but it was her first time), and convinced Crazy Ballos to make the Crown. It enslaved her and Balrog, who she had an extremely strong emotional connection to. This kind of makes sense. Use your imagination.
Misery and Balrog were cursed to do the Crown Bearer's bidding. The curse was particularly harsh on Misery because of her strong magic powers,
At least they had each other, right?
Lots can change in a couple thousand years. It's hard to stay in love that long, especially when you are engaged to a toaster. So this explains their relationship. They appear to be bitter rivals at first, but their understanding of each other goes much deeper than that, even if they broke up a really fucking long time ago.
MAN THAT WAS A LOT OF WORDS.
Now, you might think this is ridiculous:
It's the best I could come up with. Deal with it, or improve it.Captain Fabulous said:She magically preserved his brain and put it in some kind of awesome steampunk robot.