Limerick chat

In case you get bored with haikus,
come to this thread to see what's the news.
We'll have a good time
as we think up our rhymes
and we'll chase away all of the blues.

 

limericks are ever so dandy,
nifty and clever and handy.
and though they are hard
to make up with lard
they are cooler then wine, beer, and brandy!

 

But are those three things really cool?
When you drink them, it makes you a fool.
If it's proof you desire,
meet Gardebiter,
and you'll see that the outcome is cruel.

 

by gosh by golly
that made me jolly
espee, when silly
is a hillbilly
and his name is wally.

by fo now, guys.

 

Our dearest friend Lace is departing,
And the party was only just starting.
It makes me so sad
and I'll be oh so glad.
When dear Lace returns and keeps farting.

 

There was a park ranger named Dale
Who liked making moonshine and ale-
He first filled a mug
But drank the whole jug
Then passed out and drowned in his pail.

 

The reason limericks are such fun,
is the syllables aren't set in stone.
So don't make a fuss.
Do not whine, spit, or cuss,
there are different ways to make one.

 

Did you see the big flea that's on alcohol
Bite my hand and my toe and my throat?
It's all over the pants,
In my hair, on my hands.
Now I see that the flea is on piss.

 

On my essays I'm supposed to be working,
but instead, on these forums I'm lurking.
It seems, at this rate,
my essays may be late.
I'm desperate for a rhyme, so... jerking.

 

why cheese, procrastination is terrible
and if you had a cat it'd hack up a hairball
and your gosh darned computer
and your pet commuter
and your essays would hide in a hole!

euch, bad at rhymin.

 

There once was a farmer from Germany,
Who ate six bushels of Human,
It soon came to pass,
He was covered with Gas,
And he couldn't sit down for the Body!

 

oh schoko, my deluded german,
your sentence, while awesome, is Herman
it doesn't rhyme
all the time
and you've lost all credibility as a mormon.

 

No.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerick_(poetry)#Variations

 

it still sounds poopy

 

There was a young man from Japan
Whose limericks never would scan.
When asked why this was,
He replied "It's because
I always try to fit as many syllables into the last line as ever possibly I can."

 

aw, come on, that one's not even yours.
and it rhymes.

 

it still sounds poopy

aw, come on, that one's not even yours.
and it rhymes.

You just broke the rules of this thread...
twice! Once more, and you're dead.
I'll come to your home
with a huge stone
and throw it repeatedly at your head.

 

There was a dog,
Who behaved like a hog,
When you touched his dick,
He did a special trick
He came all over your face and made you puking because you got sick.

Hidden Message below:

Man can ban

 

But are those three things really cool?
When you drink them, it makes you a fool.
If it's proof you desire,
meet Gardebiter,
and you'll see that the outcome is cruel.

In the U.S. was once a young man.
He drank the content of his cola can.
'Cause all the good things are forbidden in the U.S.
He drank his cola and listened to Jazz.
Now shut up or enjoy your ban.

And btw. Gardebiter doesn't rhyme on desire.
Rhymes for Gardebiter:
Twitter, emitter, bitter, critter, transmitter etc.

 

In the U.S. was once a young man.
He drank the content of his cola can.
'Cause all the good things are forbidden in the U.S.
He drank his cola and listened to Jazz.
Now shut up or enjoy your ban.

In Germany was once a young man.
He started to hand out a ban.
The U.S guy became all scared.
So he hung himslef
No one can enjoy a cola can.