Jokes, Jokes, and more Jokes

I'm telling it as it is. lol.

Fial: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0mP3FqUUAAw&feature=related

 

Another one:

THE NEW PASSWORD

A woman was helping her husband set up his new computer, and at the appropriate time in the process, told him he would now need to enter a password.
Something he would use to log-on.
Her husband was in a rather devilish mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention.
So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in:

P...

E...

N...

I...

S...

His wife fell out of her chair laughing when the computer replied

***PASSWORD INVALID...........NOT LONG ENOUGH***

 

Sexual references, much?

 

Moar fials.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Esr_okP5Qmo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4j3w1QfV35I
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZqAGJZEYe8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7e9AMM_Z-Vk

 

Sexual references, much?

I just post what is emailed to me. *shrug*

 

Now you people stop posting one-liners or I will close this thread and warn everyone -_-"

 

Now you people stop posting one-liners or I will close this thread and warn everyone -_-"

But it follows the flow of convo! D:

THE NEW PASSWORD 

A woman was helping her husband set up his new computer, and at the appropriate time in the process, told him he would now need to enter a password.
Something he would use to log-on. 
Her husband was in a rather devilish mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention.
So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in:

P...

E...

N...

I...

S...

His wife fell out of her chair laughing when the computer replied

***PASSWORD INVALID...........NOT LONG ENOUGH***

Old joke is old ._. It was even in the papers.

 

I'll serve ya :


Breakfast
Lunch
Dinner

 

But it follows the flow of convo! D:

I don't care since it gets out of control.
Posting one-liners like insane was never allowed.

 

Roughly PG-13

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's enjoying it, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them. Then he grabs some sliced limes and eats them. Then he jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, he somehow swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey did?"
The guy says, "No, what?"
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the guy. "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. Sorry. I'll pay for everything."
The man finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate and leaves.
Two weeks later, he's in the bar again, and his pet monkey is with him.. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out and eats it. The bartender is disgusted.
"Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.
"No, what?" replies the guy.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his ass, pulled it out, and ate it!" says the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the guy. "He still eats everything in sight but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures everything first."

There was a long, long line of spirits at the gate waiting to get into heaven. Not all these spirits could fit into heaven, so the ones who died the worst death would be allowed in.
The first man in line started telling his story, "Well, Peter, you see, I knew that my wife was cheating on me so I decided to come home early from work one day to catch them in action. I got home and searched all over but I couldn't find him. Then when I walked out onto the balcony, there he was dangling off the darn thing by his fingertips. So I ran and got a hammer then started beating him with it and he fell. Well, the fall didn't kill him, because he landed in a bush so I picked up the refrigerator and threw it on him. Although that killed him, the strain gave me a heart attack, and here I am."
The next man came up and started his story. "St. Peter, I always work out on my balcony on the 14th floor of my apartment building. I was on my bike one day and I fell off when it flipped. I sailed over the rail and I thought "Please God spare my life" and he did. I caught on to a balcony below me. I was even happier when a man discovered me hanging there. But all of a sudden he started beating my hands with a hammer so I fell again. But the dear Lord saved me again when I landed in a bush. But I'm here now because the guy threw his refrigerator on top of me."
It was now the third guy's turn to start his story. "Well, Peter, just picture this. I'm hiding butt naked in this married chick's refrigerator....."

 

Decided to delete the jokebot's posts since it would have been annoying to maintain, so I posted them here and deleted HellogsCorn's posts.

A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can.The bartender says, “Dang, why are you drinking so fast?”The guy says, “You would be drinking fast if you had what I had.”The bartender says, “What do you have?”The guy says, “75 cents.”

Chair Man of the Board spacer Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office.When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap.Without hesitating, he dictated, "...and in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."

3 womans jokeThree women are about to be executed. One''s a brunette, one''s a redhead, and one''s a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim!" Suddenly the brunette yells, "EARTHQUAKE!!!" Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes. The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She say no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim!" Suddenly the redhead yells, "TORNADO!!!" Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes. By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim!" And the blonde yells, "FIRE!!!"

 

wauuu - joke

Great Ways to Annoy People in the Computer Lab Assign a musical note to every key (ie. the Delete key is A Flat, the B key is F sharp, etc.). Whenever you hit a key, hum its note loudly. Write an entire paper this way. Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to a different monitor than the one it's set up with. Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously.____________More Jokes about: teenagers-my horaire de train sncf

 

https://andwhyisit.bugsiteguardian.com/cstsf/broken7/funny.jpg Lol i found this in my photobucket, i forgot i made it, its pretty fail but oh well

its supposed to be when curly quote and balrog are on their way to find a new home

 

I didn't know Quote could bleed D:

 

No, but he can bleeds.

 

I didn't know Quote could bleed D:

Lol once again i said it was fail......unless his creator MADE HIS OIL BLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUD RED MWHJAWHAWHHAHAAHAHWHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

Lol once again i said it was fail......unless his creator MADE HIS OIL BLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUD RED MWHJAWHAWHHAHAAHAHWHAHAHAHAHAHA

Crude oil :3 To make him cheap.

 

Quote needs some red colored vegetable oil.

 

SO I HERD U LIEK COSPLAY

 

LMAO @ the Gundam dude in the second picture.