I would go back to when I was a shitkid and punk the hell out of everyone with my adult genius and martial prowess.
Like, beat up other kids and sass the shit out of adults.
This is something I think about from time to time and that's where my mind typically ends up. Having super adult powers in a setting where they're far beyond what anyone expects. Being the biggest fish in the smallest pond. It's a weird power fantasy I guess, but there was a lot about elementary school that sucked ass. Mostly the other kids. Now that I'm capable of it, I can't solve all my problems with violence and verbal abuse, so imagining my timid babby mind replaced with current mind is enjoyable.
By the way, I know I wouldn't be physically stronger than the other kids, but I would know how to fight better than them. Would most likely get my ass kicked by the larger ones though.
Now I feel pretty fucking weird for putting all this in writing.
In the proposed situation though, what's the time limit on this blast to the past? If it's self-imposed, I would just stay in my shitkid body until I got bored of it. However, the lack of a time frame in the OP makes me think that it's indefinite. I reset my life back a number of years, keeping all my memories, and must experience time at the usual rate after that. This makes the deal less fun.
Let's go back seven years, to what would be the beginning of high school if I were in some kind of dumbass school system that needed three schools. So, the second year of high school. I was still being a huge shit, just like everyone's past selves, but thankfully I had figured out that long hair makes me look retarded. I was socially inept, lonely, disliked school, and had no concept of the future. In a nutshell, nothing was different from today.
However, if my mind was suddenly 21 years old, things would change. I wouldn't be living my old life; I'd be living a new one. Suddenly I know how social interaction works, and it turns out that ninth-graders aren't complicated beings. In fact, they're pretty dumb. I'm preaching to the choir, here. Young minds are so easy manipulated that I could be the coolest kid in ninth grade by February. I'd have said January but it's hard to be 2cool4school during Christmas break. I don't really feel like being some petty king of the munchkins, though. If I wanted company, I'd need to make grade 12 friends, or teacher friends. Okay not teacher friends, it's inappropriate to hang out with them outside of class.
So now I'm so cool that I'm hanging with the seniors. They think I'm the shit because I'm the cleverest and wittiest ninth-grader ever. These dudes are old enough that I can have a real conversation with them, so my social needs are fulfilled. Now, I know there are some 14-year-olds reading this. Actually I don't, maybe they all skipped to the end. The point is, kids, I don't think you're worthless retards, but how much would you have to discuss with a young adult? Some stuff like video games and cars, sure, but I've
seen some shit, man. So I'm not trying to throw you under the bus here, but you have to recognize that we're on different wavelengths. I'd maintain relationships with some of my old friends, sure. At least one of them. But I'd basically be taking care of them, not experiencing puberty right along with them.
Aw jeez, I forgot about puberty. All those hormones are gonna make things more difficult. And my dick will be smaller
Alright so, I'm winning the popularity contest here. What about classes? Get the fuck out, why would you ask that. I know everything about all my classes already. English, Science, Math, Socials, Woodworking, Drama, Physical... edu... fuck.
At the very least, I now have the patience to deal with the nightmare that is PE, and the wisdom to call out my PE teacher on some of her bullshit. Man I hated that class. I hope it was first semester. I was probably in better shape back then, though.
Even with PE, I'm Wonderkid in all my classes. Straight A's, unless I can't stand doing worksheet after worksheet about repetitive garbage that's 7 years old to me. That probably won't be a problem in the program for gifted children I'd get enrolled in, though. A whole school for gifted kids. There goes the fantasy. Rats. Okay, I'd have to feign ignorance when it comes to homework. Let some of my grades fall to B's, just to keep suspicion low. Of course, that would still be a vast improvement over my previous grades.
At this point I'm kicking ass all over the school. All the boys and girls love me. Hopefully not too much. That's not a situation I want. 14-year-old me would be setting up dates left and right, good for him, but as a grown-ass dude? I can't bone anyone of any age without it being statutory. And fucking creepy.
Damn hormones, you ain't helping.
But here comes another huge advantage I've earned through life experience: patience. I can coast my way through school, having the time and will to improve myself in ways only Bill Murray in Groundhog Day could imagine. Or anyone who has watched that movie could imagine. I could be anything by the time I graduate. One thing I will definitely be, though, is legal. And the valedictorian. And just the coolest fucking guy still, having had three years of not being a little shit to practice being cool. I'll have post-secondary education offers, job offers, sex offers, ALL KINDS of offers.
Rewind though, not done.
School, the most important thing in most 14-year-olds lives, is under wraps. I am literally Success Kid. Figuratively Success Kid. But how's life at home? Probably difficult. Seven years of my relationship with my family has been erased, and they don't understand why I'm suddenly different. I might have to make up a reason, possibly go to therapy. Or. Tell the truth. And go to therapy.
No, I can't tell the truth. That would undermine everything. But the hardest part would be knowing things. Who my brother will marry, when my cat will die, what's wrong with my father's lymph nodes.
The thing that would make it all worth it, though. The best part. The one thing I would do without regret. Finding these forums again, fresh and old, rejoining the conversations we once had, befriending SkyeWelse early on, becoming a moderator, and BANNING THE FUCK OUT OF DUNC.