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I made this poem in the style of Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening.

Dec 2, 2014 at 6:34 AM
Bionicobot
Bionicobot
beep boop
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I think it is pretty good. Probably isn't

The gate
Confusion envelops my mind.
Constantly in a mental bind.
My soul tries to ward off the fears,
But life’s like dirt, cold and unkind.

Everything’s not as it appears,
But even as the darkness nears,
I will attempt to make a stand.
I will not shed anymore tears.

While my courage may now be canned,
I won’t be constrained by a brand.
All the hate will only be hate,
My shell of pressure shall be banned.

Be warned to never hook the bait,
For I shall win the last debate.
Be wary, you opened the gate.
Be wary, you opened the gate.




End.
 
Dec 2, 2014 at 7:13 AM
alfasketer
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Nice one Bionicobot. Nice one.
 
Dec 2, 2014 at 12:13 PM
Bionicobot
Bionicobot
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Is that sarcasm or is it actually good? I can't tell...
 
Dec 2, 2014 at 9:10 PM
Bionicobot
Bionicobot
beep boop
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Turned it in for a grade. Got a 100, and it was a major grade! That's like 50% of my grade for that 6 weeks.
 
Dec 2, 2014 at 10:07 PM
janekhan
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Sounds like it would be followed by BANMEBANMEBANMEBANMEBANME.

That being said, I do think this is a pretty good poem.
 
Dec 2, 2014 at 10:20 PM
FortniteLover2
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That's a good poem.
 
Dec 2, 2014 at 10:58 PM
duncathan
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Been here way too long...
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This is a shitty poem. The rhyme scheme is simplistic, there's no meter at all to speak of, and it's "deep" enough to be incomprehensible. I don't have the slightest clue what it's even about. Sorry bud, but this poem just kinda sucks.
 
Dec 2, 2014 at 10:59 PM
janekhan
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Well, can't please everyone.
 
Dec 2, 2014 at 11:08 PM
Bionicobot
Bionicobot
beep boop
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Well, that's what I get for using my metaphors that nobody gets.
 
Dec 2, 2014 at 11:08 PM
janekhan
janekhan
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Well, they made sense to me.
 
Dec 2, 2014 at 11:12 PM
Noxid
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ThatPortalGuy said:
Well, can't please everyone.
Click to expand...
well, dunc speaks truth
I mean I don't plan to shit on it just because he's 12 and whatever at least he's not drinking drugs, but let's be real here for a second
 
Dec 2, 2014 at 11:16 PM
janekhan
janekhan
Off-screen redemption arc
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Well, I didn't really agree with him saying that the poem had no meter. Although the rhythm was off at times, I felt like for the most part it worked pretty well. It is sort of generic in that the subject seems to be bad-ass or epic or whatever but was never actually explained in the most minimal of ways... but hey, it wasn't shit, and that's more than 98% of the Internet is capable of.
 
Dec 2, 2014 at 11:34 PM
Thatnamelessguy
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tem go to colleg and make u prouds!!!
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Bionicobot said:
Turned it in for a grade. Got a 100, and it was a major grade! That's like 50% of my grade for that 6 weeks.
Click to expand...
Before I read this I was about to reply to this thread
"Did you really make a thread just so we can critique your English homework before you turn it in"
I guess that question doesn't need to be asked anymore.
 
Dec 2, 2014 at 11:42 PM
janekhan
janekhan
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I DON'T KNOW I JUST THOUGHT IT WORKED WELL
MOST OF THE TIME

shit i had caps lock on
 
Dec 2, 2014 at 11:51 PM
Bionicobot
Bionicobot
beep boop
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Ok, I guess I see what you mean now...
 
Dec 3, 2014 at 1:03 AM
Polar✪
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Did you really rhyme "Hate" with "Hate"?

Other then that it's not bad, I guess. Not really thread worthy though (but what do I know?).
 
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