Jun 28, 2009 at 5:09 PM
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Billy Mays, television salesman, dies.
- Thread starter supermario566
- Start date
Jun 28, 2009 at 6:12 PM
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Why are so many amazing people dying? WHY?!?!? Billy Mays yelled at me so much, he made me feel like it was a sin to just sit on my couch instead of buying BAM!
You will be sorely missed, Billy Mays, and I hope Vince Offer doesn't usurp your throne of marketing.
You will be sorely missed, Billy Mays, and I hope Vince Offer doesn't usurp your throne of marketing.
Jun 28, 2009 at 6:35 PM
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I was really shocked when I saw this earlier, It was my dream to meet him someday. People don't understand that there's more to him than just that guy who yells at you on the tv and makes crappy puns, he was actually a really cool guy. RIP Billy. You will be missed.
Jun 28, 2009 at 6:37 PM
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His epitaph should be something like "Making old people turn down the volume from 2004-2009" or whenever his first commercial came out.
But I'm done making fun of his career now. I'm sure he was a cool guy. He said "Vince Offer, it's on" on public television.
But I'm done making fun of his career now. I'm sure he was a cool guy. He said "Vince Offer, it's on" on public television.
Jun 29, 2009 at 1:23 AM
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Joke:
At the gates of heaven, David Carradine was given a wish, he thought for a couple weeks, being a patient man, and finally decided that he would like to be entertained, after seeing how boring it was. So god killed Ed McMahon.
Ed McMahon, of course, got the same wish. Now being a spry old Comedian, It didn't take him long to know that only David Carradine for company was going to be dull. He wished for a beautiful, refined model. God, disapproving of Couples so different in age, decided an ex-model was acceptable. He killed Farrah Fawcett.
Farrah Fawcett, always trying to look good in the eye of the public, always loved children. When she arrived in heaven, she already knew what she would wish for, she asked god to make sure the children of the world, would be safe. God killed Michael Jackson.
Michael Jackson, arriving in Heaven, found that god had restored his appearance. He was once again, of colored skin. Unhappy that all the pain and surgery had been in vain, he decided he would get it back, but of course, plastic surgery did not exist in heaven. He wished for a large supply of bleach, so that he could be white once more. God again complied, in a way he had became so accustom. God killed Billie Mays.
Billie Mays got to heaven, and the first words out of his mouth were: "BILLIE MAYS HERE!". Now after he was told he would be given a wish, Billie thought hard and he wished for
At the gates of heaven, David Carradine was given a wish, he thought for a couple weeks, being a patient man, and finally decided that he would like to be entertained, after seeing how boring it was. So god killed Ed McMahon.
Ed McMahon, of course, got the same wish. Now being a spry old Comedian, It didn't take him long to know that only David Carradine for company was going to be dull. He wished for a beautiful, refined model. God, disapproving of Couples so different in age, decided an ex-model was acceptable. He killed Farrah Fawcett.
Farrah Fawcett, always trying to look good in the eye of the public, always loved children. When she arrived in heaven, she already knew what she would wish for, she asked god to make sure the children of the world, would be safe. God killed Michael Jackson.
Michael Jackson, arriving in Heaven, found that god had restored his appearance. He was once again, of colored skin. Unhappy that all the pain and surgery had been in vain, he decided he would get it back, but of course, plastic surgery did not exist in heaven. He wished for a large supply of bleach, so that he could be white once more. God again complied, in a way he had became so accustom. God killed Billie Mays.
Billie Mays got to heaven, and the first words out of his mouth were: "BILLIE MAYS HERE!". Now after he was told he would be given a wish, Billie thought hard and he wished for
... to be continued?
Jun 29, 2009 at 1:39 AM
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A dumb redneck to sell his products to (please be George Bush, please).
Jun 29, 2009 at 1:57 AM
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I rather have the ShamWOW dude die next.
Jun 29, 2009 at 2:24 AM
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But he looks like the Scout from TF2. Have you not heard of ShamBONK?
Jun 29, 2009 at 2:29 AM
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Nope.
Jul 2, 2009 at 4:13 AM
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lol.whyme said:
Jul 7, 2009 at 5:32 AM
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Billy Mays quite obviously wished for Steve McNair to die, since he wanted someone to have a yelling match with in Heaven. RIP Steve McNair.
Jul 7, 2009 at 1:53 PM
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And that just brings up the question of what Steve McNair will wish for.
Jul 7, 2009 at 7:17 PM
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John Madden. I kind of don't want him to die, but it's kind of an obvious choice, and he is getting old. I give you my sad face in advance, John: 
Jul 8, 2009 at 12:21 PM
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And now I am going to post Billy's plan.
