Why are so many amazing people dying? WHY?!?!? Billy Mays yelled at me so much, he made me feel like it was a sin to just sit on my couch instead of buying BAM!
You will be sorely missed, Billy Mays, and I hope Vince Offer doesn't usurp your throne of marketing.
I was really shocked when I saw this earlier, It was my dream to meet him someday. People don't understand that there's more to him than just that guy who yells at you on the tv and makes crappy puns, he was actually a really cool guy. RIP Billy. You will be missed.
His epitaph should be something like "Making old people turn down the volume from 2004-2009" or whenever his first commercial came out.
But I'm done making fun of his career now. I'm sure he was a cool guy. He said "Vince Offer, it's on" on public television.
At the gates of heaven, David Carradine was given a wish, he thought for a couple weeks, being a patient man, and finally decided that he would like to be entertained, after seeing how boring it was. So god killed Ed McMahon.
Ed McMahon, of course, got the same wish. Now being a spry old Comedian, It didn't take him long to know that only David Carradine for company was going to be dull. He wished for a beautiful, refined model. God, disapproving of Couples so different in age, decided an ex-model was acceptable. He killed Farrah Fawcett.
Farrah Fawcett, always trying to look good in the eye of the public, always loved children. When she arrived in heaven, she already knew what she would wish for, she asked god to make sure the children of the world, would be safe. God killed Michael Jackson.
Michael Jackson, arriving in Heaven, found that god had restored his appearance. He was once again, of colored skin. Unhappy that all the pain and surgery had been in vain, he decided he would get it back, but of course, plastic surgery did not exist in heaven. He wished for a large supply of bleach, so that he could be white once more. God again complied, in a way he had became so accustom. God killed Billie Mays.
Billie Mays got to heaven, and the first words out of his mouth were: "BILLIE MAYS HERE!". Now after he was told he would be given a wish, Billie thought hard and he wished for