There are three reasons you might be working today :
1) To collect gold coins
2) To eat magic mushrooms and flowers
3) For the princess
IF not any of those it's probably because a giant lizard commanded it
@Chime
Your condition is almost certainly what is known as "hairy tongue"; the term is often preceded by a qualifier that describes its color, as in "white hairy tongue" or "black hairy tongue" The color is mostly irrelevant, because the condition is fundamentally caused by the same phenomenon, regardless of the color: an overgrowth of the filiform papillae (the numerous tiny bumps) on the dorsal surface of the tongue. Strictly speaking, it is not a disorder per se; its presence simply indicates that the normal exfoliation of keratin (the predominant structural protein of the tongue surface) is not keeping pace with the growth of new keratin. The condition is trivial, albeit cosmetically unappealing.
Treatment is limited to encouraging the dislodgment of the tongue's surface epithelium, usually by frequent brushing of the tongue surface, while avoiding mouthwashes or other products that may stimulate surface tissue growth (hydrogen peroxide and other oxygenating products are particular offenders).
Although candida albicans (yeast) is sometimes associated with hairy tongue, it is not the primary causative factor-- hence the failure of anti-fungal medication to improve matters. However, if fungal infection is found to be present (by exfoliative cytology with PAS staining), it too should be treated. Oral fungal infections are particularly common in cases where the immune system is suppressed (for example, in cases of diabetes, HIV infection, or immunosuppressive therapy for autoimmune disease or organ transplants).
Aside from addressing the primary cause of hairy tongue, attention should be given to eliminating factors that can make the problem esthetically worse by staining. In this regard, chlorhexidine gluconate rinses ("Peridex") is exactly the wrong thing to prescribe due to its propensity to cause dark staining. Certain coloring agents in toothpaste, mouthwash, chewing gum, and candy are also obvious sources of staining.
Sucralfate is not a bad idea if "GERD" (gastroesophageal reflux disease) is suspected, because GERD is sometimes associated with oral malodor and unhygienic oral condition.
Or maybe it was something you ate.
Question :
What compels you to answer this dumb question?