I apologize on behalf of my buddy JetHawk.
He can be a little... tactless at times, but you have to cut him some slack.
He and I have been here a while, and we have probably seen every theory about cave story ever at least once, it can be understandably tiring to a person to see a new thread, only to discover it is another Chaco sex thread.
No offense to you, or anyone for that matter, most of the ideas are plausible, and therefore suggested.
Perhaps you might want to skim the titles of the first page of theory threads before making a new one, making an almost identical thread would be a shame, eh?
Best of luck, and welcome to the forums!