After a while of thinking, I think it would be best if I put Project Ampersand on an indefinite hold.
I'm doing this because my current conditions make it difficult for progress to be made.
I'm not very good with TSC. I'm only passable at making maps. I have to rely on someone else to edit the source code. I have to rely on other people to create artwork/sprites because I can't draw, and the artists are never able to finish anything for the mod. And the only thing I'm actually really good at is music.
For so long, I really didn't want to put Project Ampersand on hold because I wanted people to have hope for it, and I didn't want it to end up like other abandoned/cancelled mods. Now I've realized that I should, given the conditions I stated.
While Project Ampersand is on hold, I will participate in modfests more often, and use the mods I make during those modfests as practice.
I will try to practice drawing, as well as maybe learning how to use a game engine like Unity or Godot or something. I'll also put more time into learning Japanese, but I don't know if that's really on topic.
I've been procrastinating for so long, and I have only three years left until I'm an adult. I need to become more skilled at these things, so I can be successful in doing the things I want to do, and to quell the pain of this mid life crisis.
Along side that, starting today, I will no longer be known as Extra Life. Starting today, I will now be known as...
Imagine making a Cave Story mod, but you can't make sprites without them looking like complete shit, having a sprite artist that's too busy to make sprites for your mod most of the time, then try to ask a discord server with some people who are also good at sprites if anyone can cover for the other one, only to be fucking ignored.
My birthday is later this month, and it'll be three years until I'm an adult.
I feel like I'm having an existential crisis.
I still suck at most things, and the only thing I'm good at is music, more specifically chiptune.
I'm going to have to force myself to get off my ass in order to have even a slight chance of being successful when I'm an adult.
But it's not like it's gonna change the fact that I'll probably be even more miserable by then because I'll have to deal with taxes, having a job that I most definitely won't enjoy just so I can get money , bills, not being homeless, and many other things that will leave me with little to no time to do anything I want to do.
It's only going to get worse from here on out, so I'll need to try to get better at shit with the little time I have left.