Sep 9, 2011 at 5:46 AM
Join Date: Apr 19, 2009
Location:
Posts: 3785
Age: 18
Pronouns: he/him
Class wasn't stimulating enough so I found a way to entertain myself.
That was written just to entertain myself, but now I've started writing more.
That started as a realistic scenario, but I have never done any stupid stuff like that.
I didn't have time to CAPITALIZE shit, and it was throwing off my groove anyway.
I'll be writing more of these and posting them on the forums if you guys want to read them. You might notice that they don't cover terribly interesting situations; that's because I don't have time to write them during terribly interesting situations. It's more fun to make these while I'm experiencing them, but I'll have to move on to non-computer-having situations eventually.
You find yourself in a lecture theatre. Obvious exits are NORTH and SOUTH. A PROFESSOR is lecturing about WORLD HISTORY. You have in your inventory a LAPTOP.
>take notes
You attempt to take NOTES but find yourself making a parody of a text adventure. Your PROFESSOR says that you should have a TEXTBOOK and a CLICKER.
>get textbook
Your TEXTBOOK is at home, along with your CLICKER. Good job. Oh well, it’s only the first day.
>make text adventure parody
Nice try, meta-smartass.
>go NORTH
Class isn’t over. It would be very rude to exit in the middle of class, and also very counter-productive.
>browse Facebook
Even if you had a Facebook account, that would still be rude and counterproductive.
>help
Sit there and listen to the PROFESSOR, dumbass.
>sit there and listen to the professor
Your PROFESSOR tells you about BLACKBOARD, an online system for submitting and grading ASSIGNMENTS.
>go blackboard
You log onto BLACKBOARD as your PROFESSOR shows you how. There are several assignments on it.
>look assignments
They look awfully familiar, because you already took this class once, fucknuts. Jesus, how do you fail a first-year course? Anyway, one of the things is a discussion response.
>do homework
Before class is even over? Sure, let’s get a head start. The discussion question is:
“How would you define history? What do you think being a historian involves?”
>agree with previous response
Not only is that an awful idea, no one else has posted. Class isn’t even over. You’ll be the trailblazer.
>log off
As you log off BLACKBOARD, you wonder how obvious it is that you are not taking NOTES. Your PROFESSOR is only going over the SYLLABUS. Which is in your INVERTORY. Maybe I should have mentioned that.
>read syllabus
It looks a lot like every SYLLABUS you’ve ever seen, and even more like the one you had for this course last time.
>stop making smartass text adventure
Good luck finding something else to do.
>talk syllabus
That’s a retarded command and you know it. -15 points just for that.
Your score is -15.
>read the screen of person next to you
You’d like to, but they’re taking notes in size 1 font. There’s no way you’ll read that without being extremely obvious.
>wear glasses
You don’t have your GLASSES because they make you look like a doof.
>doof isn’t a word
I don’t understand the command “doof”.
>listen to PROFESSOR
Well there’s an original thought. She’s talking about PLAGARISM, telling an anecdote about some student of hers. No one is laughing except that CHUBBY LOUDMOUTH.
It’s not a very funny story, is probably why.
>talk chubby loudmouth
Dude, you’re in the middle of class. That’s even worse than browsing Facebook. You must really be bored. Luckily for you, class is now over.
>exit NORTH
Thank you for playing HISTORY 190. Your score was -15.
>take notes
You attempt to take NOTES but find yourself making a parody of a text adventure. Your PROFESSOR says that you should have a TEXTBOOK and a CLICKER.
>get textbook
Your TEXTBOOK is at home, along with your CLICKER. Good job. Oh well, it’s only the first day.
>make text adventure parody
Nice try, meta-smartass.
>go NORTH
Class isn’t over. It would be very rude to exit in the middle of class, and also very counter-productive.
>browse Facebook
Even if you had a Facebook account, that would still be rude and counterproductive.
>help
Sit there and listen to the PROFESSOR, dumbass.
>sit there and listen to the professor
Your PROFESSOR tells you about BLACKBOARD, an online system for submitting and grading ASSIGNMENTS.
>go blackboard
You log onto BLACKBOARD as your PROFESSOR shows you how. There are several assignments on it.
>look assignments
They look awfully familiar, because you already took this class once, fucknuts. Jesus, how do you fail a first-year course? Anyway, one of the things is a discussion response.
>do homework
Before class is even over? Sure, let’s get a head start. The discussion question is:
“How would you define history? What do you think being a historian involves?”
>agree with previous response
Not only is that an awful idea, no one else has posted. Class isn’t even over. You’ll be the trailblazer.
>log off
As you log off BLACKBOARD, you wonder how obvious it is that you are not taking NOTES. Your PROFESSOR is only going over the SYLLABUS. Which is in your INVERTORY. Maybe I should have mentioned that.
>read syllabus
It looks a lot like every SYLLABUS you’ve ever seen, and even more like the one you had for this course last time.
>stop making smartass text adventure
Good luck finding something else to do.
>talk syllabus
That’s a retarded command and you know it. -15 points just for that.
Your score is -15.
>read the screen of person next to you
You’d like to, but they’re taking notes in size 1 font. There’s no way you’ll read that without being extremely obvious.
>wear glasses
You don’t have your GLASSES because they make you look like a doof.
>doof isn’t a word
I don’t understand the command “doof”.
>listen to PROFESSOR
Well there’s an original thought. She’s talking about PLAGARISM, telling an anecdote about some student of hers. No one is laughing except that CHUBBY LOUDMOUTH.
It’s not a very funny story, is probably why.
>talk chubby loudmouth
Dude, you’re in the middle of class. That’s even worse than browsing Facebook. You must really be bored. Luckily for you, class is now over.
>exit NORTH
Thank you for playing HISTORY 190. Your score was -15.
WELCOME TO
:-=MIDNIGHT=-:
It's that time of day again: night. The time creeps steadily towards 12:00, ignoring your unwillingness to sleep. You are abed in your BED, LAPTOP on your lap, skyping on SKYPE. You are wearing PAJAMA PANTS and HOUSECOAT. The only obvious exit is UP.
Wat do.
>look
You glance up from your screen to survey your familiar surroundings. A LAMP, resting on your nightstand, casts a low, warm light around your BEDROOM. The walls are purple, a decision you do not and probably never will regret making, because purple is awesome. To the EAST, your CLOSET door stands ajar, revealing your DRESSER and SWEET HAT COLLECTION. To the left of the CLOSET is your bedroom door, closed.
>look hat collection
There are only two HATS sitting on the shelf. One of them is not even sweet. There are a few more sweet hats scattered around the house, but your sweet hat collection is definitely lacking in sweet hats.
Anyway, one of them is that sweet hat you got in Germany. The other is just a red baseball cap.
>go up
You get up out of bed. You quickly sit back down due to low blood pressure. Would you like to give that another try?
>yeah sure
You now stand in the middle of your room, on a carpet of dirty clothes. Remember when I said you were lazy? Anyway, you have put your laptop down on the bed instead of casting it to the floor by standing.
>get hat
You don your GERMAN HAT. It probably has a real name, but you'll be damned if you've ever heard it.
>go east
You walk into a wall.
>go door
You walk into a DOOR.
>open door, smartass
You quietly open your door. Your PARENTS are in bed by now and you don't want to disturb them.
Oh ha ha did I say "quietly"? The doorknob clicks loudly as it is turned, and when you pull it the door grinds against the doorframe. You finish opening the door and the hinges groan.
>shit
Not here, the BATHROOM is literally two feet away. God, you're lazy.
>not what i meant
That's what I interpreted it as.
>look
You are facing out your door and into the darkened HALLWAY.
>look hallway
It's fucking dark, numbnuts. You can hardly make anything out.
>turn on light
You reach across the HALLWAY and flip the HOLY MOTHER OF CHRIST IT BURNS
>turn off light
You turn the LIGHT back off. Any night vision you had is now gone. You know where to go from memory, though. The HALLWAY stretches away NORTH. Exits are PARENTS' ROOM, BATHROOM and KITCHEN. There is also another CLOSET.
>go closet
You squeeze yourself into the CLOSET. All the RANDOM SHIT and COATS in there make quite a bit of noise. That was a stupid idea. Now you've woken up your parents. How inconsiderate. You are a terrible son.
>go hallway
You are now back in the dark hallway.
>go kitchen
You tiptoe into the KITCHEN, making a fuckload of noise on account of the squeaky floor. It's still fairly dark in here, but there is some streetlight filtering through the curtains. The CUPBOARDS and FRIDGE are filled with DELICIOUS NOMZ.
>acquire delicious nomz
You pick up a bag of pretzels. The crinkling lets your PARENTS know of your unhealthy eating habits. I guess they haven't taught you better.
>guilt
Disregard guilt, acquire salty awesomeness.
>go hallway
You are now back in the dark HALLWAY.
>go bedroom
You squeak back into your BEDROOM, grinding the door shut and clicking the doorknob.
>go down
On what? Loner.
>fuck off
The command "fuck" can't be used in this context.
>eat a dick
You try but simply aren't flexible enough. You never have been and never will be.
>go into bed
You slip into BED still fully clothed, clutching the bad of pretzels. Your LAPTOP is still on the BED.
>sleep
You cannot possibly SLEEP. You are wearing a GERMAN HAT and holding a BAG OF PRETZELS. Besides, the goal of this game is to PROCRASTINATE SLEEPING.
>eat pretzels
You start eating the PRETZELS. You are now feeling rather GERMAN.
>weiter essen brezeln
Du bist wirklich in die TASCHE jetzt graben. Sie sagen voraus, dass sie essen werden diese für eine weile.
>be english
You revert back to the only language you can speak. Your mouth begins to feel quite dry because of all these PRETZELS.
>drink water
You have no water to drink. You do not sleep in the BATHROOM or the KITCHEN.
>sleep in bathroom
That's pretty much the worst idea ever. Do you want to wake up when someone has to poop? Do you want to sleep in a place that smells like poop afterward? The BATHTUB is too small to lie in anyway.
>go door
Walk into your door again. Your PARENTS definitely heard it this time. You sure do excel at disturbing their sleep.
>OPEN DOOR
You open your DOOR noisily again.
>can't you do it quiety?
That's as quiet as it gets. Stop asking questions, just issue commands.
>go hallway
You are now back in the dark HALLWAY.
>open bathroom door
Wow, you're getting good at opening doors! You open the BATHROOM DOOR. It's just as dark in there as it is out here.
>go bathroom
You feel your way into the BATHROOM, managing not to hit anything. It's still dark.
>close door
Privacy is always important. You close the BATHROOM DOOR.
>sleep in bathroom
What? No. That's stupid. I already told you how stupid that is. That's an awful, awful idea.
>sleep in bathtub
You don't even have any PILLOWS and you're still wearing your stupid HAT.
>remove hat
You remove your hat and put it down where the COUNTER should be. Luckily for you, the COUNTER is still there.
>drink water
You grope your way over to the TOILET, lift up the lid and...
>drink from the sink, also fuck you
Maybe you should be more specific. You turn on the cold tap and dip your head down to collect vital WATER into your mouth. However, the way is blocked by something soft.
>look soft thing
It's dark. You can't. Why do you think you're a cat or something?
>feel soft thing
You don't just want to turn on the light? Okay. You examine the object and discover that it is your HAT. You accidentally put it in the SINK, then poured WATER on it.
>you son of a bitch
You had a random enCOUNTER and lost. Deal with it.
>that's not funny
Yes it is.
>take hat
You retrieve your soggy headgear from the SINK. It drips on the floor and makes you hate yourself for being STUPID.
>not really
It sure does. You wonder if your HAT will be permanently damaged.
>drink water
You might as well get what you came here for. You return to the TOILET and lap up some WATER.
>motherfucker
What would your PARENTS think?
>spit out water
Nope, you drank it. You wonder exactly how many days ago you cleaned the bowl.
>open door
You open the BATHROOM DOOR. It's quieter than yours.
>go hallway
You are now back in the dark HALLWAY.
>go bedroom
Here we are again.
>place hat on heating vent
I didn't even tell you about a HEATING VENT. Aren't you just the cleverest little thing. Anyway, you put your HAT on it in hopes of drying it off faster. Unfortunately, it is still early SEPTEMBER and it's too warm for the furance to activate.
>oh well. eat a pretzel
You find yourself giving surprisingly few fucks about the hat. You munch on a single PRETZEL as you stare at the damage you've done to it. Half of it is all wet. The half with the feather in it.
>take pillow
You pick up your PILLOW and tuck it under one arm. Your other hand is still carrying the BAG.
>disregard bag, acquire blanket
You set the BAG OF PRETZELS down on the floor because you're such a tidy person. You take your DUVET BLANKET and roll it up into a manageable ball.
>turn off lamp
You switch off your LAMP. Everything is once again pitch black, but you don't really need to see to get around.
>go hallway
You trip over the bag of pretzels on your way out the door. Good going there.
>go bathroom.
You enter the... hold on, what the fuck, god damn it. No. Don't.
>close door
You close the DOOR, but that's a pretty fucking terrible idea because what are you going to do in a bathroom with a pillow and a blanket I mean really.
>sleep in bathtub
Alright, fine sleep in the fucking bathtub for whatever retarded reason you want to. It's not very comfortable because it's a fucking bathtub, but the thick blanket protects you from the worst of it. When your mother finds you like that in the morning, she sets you up with a therapist, you weird sack of shit.
And you wrecked your hat forever, too.
Game over, your score was "what the actual fuck is wrong with you."
:-=MIDNIGHT=-:
It's that time of day again: night. The time creeps steadily towards 12:00, ignoring your unwillingness to sleep. You are abed in your BED, LAPTOP on your lap, skyping on SKYPE. You are wearing PAJAMA PANTS and HOUSECOAT. The only obvious exit is UP.
Wat do.
>look
You glance up from your screen to survey your familiar surroundings. A LAMP, resting on your nightstand, casts a low, warm light around your BEDROOM. The walls are purple, a decision you do not and probably never will regret making, because purple is awesome. To the EAST, your CLOSET door stands ajar, revealing your DRESSER and SWEET HAT COLLECTION. To the left of the CLOSET is your bedroom door, closed.
>look hat collection
There are only two HATS sitting on the shelf. One of them is not even sweet. There are a few more sweet hats scattered around the house, but your sweet hat collection is definitely lacking in sweet hats.
Anyway, one of them is that sweet hat you got in Germany. The other is just a red baseball cap.
>go up
You get up out of bed. You quickly sit back down due to low blood pressure. Would you like to give that another try?
>yeah sure
You now stand in the middle of your room, on a carpet of dirty clothes. Remember when I said you were lazy? Anyway, you have put your laptop down on the bed instead of casting it to the floor by standing.
>get hat
You don your GERMAN HAT. It probably has a real name, but you'll be damned if you've ever heard it.
>go east
You walk into a wall.
>go door
You walk into a DOOR.
>open door, smartass
You quietly open your door. Your PARENTS are in bed by now and you don't want to disturb them.
Oh ha ha did I say "quietly"? The doorknob clicks loudly as it is turned, and when you pull it the door grinds against the doorframe. You finish opening the door and the hinges groan.
>shit
Not here, the BATHROOM is literally two feet away. God, you're lazy.
>not what i meant
That's what I interpreted it as.
>look
You are facing out your door and into the darkened HALLWAY.
>look hallway
It's fucking dark, numbnuts. You can hardly make anything out.
>turn on light
You reach across the HALLWAY and flip the HOLY MOTHER OF CHRIST IT BURNS
>turn off light
You turn the LIGHT back off. Any night vision you had is now gone. You know where to go from memory, though. The HALLWAY stretches away NORTH. Exits are PARENTS' ROOM, BATHROOM and KITCHEN. There is also another CLOSET.
>go closet
You squeeze yourself into the CLOSET. All the RANDOM SHIT and COATS in there make quite a bit of noise. That was a stupid idea. Now you've woken up your parents. How inconsiderate. You are a terrible son.
>go hallway
You are now back in the dark hallway.
>go kitchen
You tiptoe into the KITCHEN, making a fuckload of noise on account of the squeaky floor. It's still fairly dark in here, but there is some streetlight filtering through the curtains. The CUPBOARDS and FRIDGE are filled with DELICIOUS NOMZ.
>acquire delicious nomz
You pick up a bag of pretzels. The crinkling lets your PARENTS know of your unhealthy eating habits. I guess they haven't taught you better.
>guilt
Disregard guilt, acquire salty awesomeness.
>go hallway
You are now back in the dark HALLWAY.
>go bedroom
You squeak back into your BEDROOM, grinding the door shut and clicking the doorknob.
>go down
On what? Loner.
>fuck off
The command "fuck" can't be used in this context.
>eat a dick
You try but simply aren't flexible enough. You never have been and never will be.
>go into bed
You slip into BED still fully clothed, clutching the bad of pretzels. Your LAPTOP is still on the BED.
>sleep
You cannot possibly SLEEP. You are wearing a GERMAN HAT and holding a BAG OF PRETZELS. Besides, the goal of this game is to PROCRASTINATE SLEEPING.
>eat pretzels
You start eating the PRETZELS. You are now feeling rather GERMAN.
>weiter essen brezeln
Du bist wirklich in die TASCHE jetzt graben. Sie sagen voraus, dass sie essen werden diese für eine weile.
>be english
You revert back to the only language you can speak. Your mouth begins to feel quite dry because of all these PRETZELS.
>drink water
You have no water to drink. You do not sleep in the BATHROOM or the KITCHEN.
>sleep in bathroom
That's pretty much the worst idea ever. Do you want to wake up when someone has to poop? Do you want to sleep in a place that smells like poop afterward? The BATHTUB is too small to lie in anyway.
>go door
Walk into your door again. Your PARENTS definitely heard it this time. You sure do excel at disturbing their sleep.
>OPEN DOOR
You open your DOOR noisily again.
>can't you do it quiety?
That's as quiet as it gets. Stop asking questions, just issue commands.
>go hallway
You are now back in the dark HALLWAY.
>open bathroom door
Wow, you're getting good at opening doors! You open the BATHROOM DOOR. It's just as dark in there as it is out here.
>go bathroom
You feel your way into the BATHROOM, managing not to hit anything. It's still dark.
>close door
Privacy is always important. You close the BATHROOM DOOR.
>sleep in bathroom
What? No. That's stupid. I already told you how stupid that is. That's an awful, awful idea.
>sleep in bathtub
You don't even have any PILLOWS and you're still wearing your stupid HAT.
>remove hat
You remove your hat and put it down where the COUNTER should be. Luckily for you, the COUNTER is still there.
>drink water
You grope your way over to the TOILET, lift up the lid and...
>drink from the sink, also fuck you
Maybe you should be more specific. You turn on the cold tap and dip your head down to collect vital WATER into your mouth. However, the way is blocked by something soft.
>look soft thing
It's dark. You can't. Why do you think you're a cat or something?
>feel soft thing
You don't just want to turn on the light? Okay. You examine the object and discover that it is your HAT. You accidentally put it in the SINK, then poured WATER on it.
>you son of a bitch
You had a random enCOUNTER and lost. Deal with it.
>that's not funny
Yes it is.
>take hat
You retrieve your soggy headgear from the SINK. It drips on the floor and makes you hate yourself for being STUPID.
>not really
It sure does. You wonder if your HAT will be permanently damaged.
>drink water
You might as well get what you came here for. You return to the TOILET and lap up some WATER.
>motherfucker
What would your PARENTS think?
>spit out water
Nope, you drank it. You wonder exactly how many days ago you cleaned the bowl.
>open door
You open the BATHROOM DOOR. It's quieter than yours.
>go hallway
You are now back in the dark HALLWAY.
>go bedroom
Here we are again.
>place hat on heating vent
I didn't even tell you about a HEATING VENT. Aren't you just the cleverest little thing. Anyway, you put your HAT on it in hopes of drying it off faster. Unfortunately, it is still early SEPTEMBER and it's too warm for the furance to activate.
>oh well. eat a pretzel
You find yourself giving surprisingly few fucks about the hat. You munch on a single PRETZEL as you stare at the damage you've done to it. Half of it is all wet. The half with the feather in it.
>take pillow
You pick up your PILLOW and tuck it under one arm. Your other hand is still carrying the BAG.
>disregard bag, acquire blanket
You set the BAG OF PRETZELS down on the floor because you're such a tidy person. You take your DUVET BLANKET and roll it up into a manageable ball.
>turn off lamp
You switch off your LAMP. Everything is once again pitch black, but you don't really need to see to get around.
>go hallway
You trip over the bag of pretzels on your way out the door. Good going there.
>go bathroom.
You enter the... hold on, what the fuck, god damn it. No. Don't.
>close door
You close the DOOR, but that's a pretty fucking terrible idea because what are you going to do in a bathroom with a pillow and a blanket I mean really.
>sleep in bathtub
Alright, fine sleep in the fucking bathtub for whatever retarded reason you want to. It's not very comfortable because it's a fucking bathtub, but the thick blanket protects you from the worst of it. When your mother finds you like that in the morning, she sets you up with a therapist, you weird sack of shit.
And you wrecked your hat forever, too.
Game over, your score was "what the actual fuck is wrong with you."
¯\_Sitting In Class_/¯
_/ Anthropology 101 \_
An adventure in not giving a shit
You find yourself in the same classroom as before. However, it is different this time. There are different students, and a different professor. It is ANTH 101. You are once again completely bored by the professor’s introduction to the class. You have decided to make... A TEXT ADVENTURE.
Your are on your laptop. IRC and Skype are active. What will you do?
>ignore professor
But he’s talking about anthropology. It’s a subject you have some interest in. That’s why you’re taking this course!
>listen to professor
He’s been talking about different anthropological subjects. Right now, it’s values and polygamy. You will definitely not be tested on whatever he’s saying.
>ignore professor
Yeah alright. You resume typing.
>be self-conscious
Uh oh, this isn’t note-taking material. There’s no way you could be taking notes. You’re not fooling anyone.
>ignore self-consciousness
You decide to screw whatever your classmates think. However. Your professor can still see you typing. He’s much more important than your classmates.
>look professor
Good idea. Your professor is a casually dressed man with short white hair and a goatee. He looks like a high school teacher somehow. Must be the lack of a tie. At any rate, he doesn’t look like he’ll get mad at you for not paying attention. At this point in time, he is talking about your syllabus and how you should pay attention to it.
>look syllabus
It’s pretty standard, albeit with some interesting design decisions. It has two required texts listed. Good thing you have them in your bag!
>look bag
It’s a black satchel with Velcro and plastic clips. Because of the Velcro, you don’t want to open it without good reason.
>listen to professor
He has introduced another speaker who will talk about the Learning Skills Center, a boring place for dummies that you have certainly never set foot in.
>listen to speaker
She’s droning on about stuff you learned last year.
>look speaker
No, she’s not hot.
>ignore speaker
You are rubber and her words are also rubber. It’s like a ballpit over here.
>check IRC
Active users are Noxid, CptFabulous and WildDesu. WildDesu is talking about her cat, as usual.
>make cat rape joke
You don’t think that would fly, so you just write “>make cat rape joke.” WildDesu interprets this as a Pokemon move. Close enough.
>stop ignoring self-consciousness
Oh god what if someone behind you saw that, now they probably think you’re some kind of zoophile.
>ignore self-consciousness
No, it could have been a cute girl back there. What if it’s a cute girl? You have to confirm.
>turn around
You can’t just turn around! Could you possibly do anything more awkward?
>ignore self-consciousness
Too late for that man, you have to find some way to find out if a cute girl thinks you’re a zoophile.
>use powers of reasoning
This university has 60% female attendance, and everyone knows that the ladies love Anthropology. The chances of a female reading your screen are good. Also, anyone behind you would pretty much be sitting at the back of class. People who sit at the back of class are not the best students. You try to think how this could correlate with attractiveness, but to know avail.
You are now fairly sure the cute girl behind you is completely disgusted with you.
>use powers of reasoning
Okay, you don’t know who’s behind you. Think of something!
>look reflection
Reflection? Where?
>computer screen
You try to use your computer screen as a mirror to see behind you, but it’s too brightly lit. Seeing anything past your huge nose is impossible.
>fn+F6
You turn the backlight off. Now you can see a dark, slightly green mirror image of the row behind you. Your head blocks your view of the person directly behind you, which means you’re safe from them. To your left is two men. To your right... two women! You study their reflections closely, but can’t quite make out their facial features.
>listen to girls
Brilliant! They’re having a quiet conversation. Maybe they sound ugly or something. It’s worth a shot!
“...my girlfriend was—” Well, that’s one down. And the other one probably can’t read your screen at such an extreme angle. She should be listening to the professor, anyway.
>listen to professor
He’s started talking again. Something about class being over.
Oh.
>put laptop in bag
You close your laptop and slide it into your satchel. Everyone else is already standing up and leaving because they were paying attention.
>stand up and leave
You meld with the crowd as it oozes out the doors.
You won. Your score was 0 fucks given about class.
_/ Anthropology 101 \_
An adventure in not giving a shit
You find yourself in the same classroom as before. However, it is different this time. There are different students, and a different professor. It is ANTH 101. You are once again completely bored by the professor’s introduction to the class. You have decided to make... A TEXT ADVENTURE.
Your are on your laptop. IRC and Skype are active. What will you do?
>ignore professor
But he’s talking about anthropology. It’s a subject you have some interest in. That’s why you’re taking this course!
>listen to professor
He’s been talking about different anthropological subjects. Right now, it’s values and polygamy. You will definitely not be tested on whatever he’s saying.
>ignore professor
Yeah alright. You resume typing.
>be self-conscious
Uh oh, this isn’t note-taking material. There’s no way you could be taking notes. You’re not fooling anyone.
>ignore self-consciousness
You decide to screw whatever your classmates think. However. Your professor can still see you typing. He’s much more important than your classmates.
>look professor
Good idea. Your professor is a casually dressed man with short white hair and a goatee. He looks like a high school teacher somehow. Must be the lack of a tie. At any rate, he doesn’t look like he’ll get mad at you for not paying attention. At this point in time, he is talking about your syllabus and how you should pay attention to it.
>look syllabus
It’s pretty standard, albeit with some interesting design decisions. It has two required texts listed. Good thing you have them in your bag!
>look bag
It’s a black satchel with Velcro and plastic clips. Because of the Velcro, you don’t want to open it without good reason.
>listen to professor
He has introduced another speaker who will talk about the Learning Skills Center, a boring place for dummies that you have certainly never set foot in.
>listen to speaker
She’s droning on about stuff you learned last year.
>look speaker
No, she’s not hot.
>ignore speaker
You are rubber and her words are also rubber. It’s like a ballpit over here.
>check IRC
Active users are Noxid, CptFabulous and WildDesu. WildDesu is talking about her cat, as usual.
>make cat rape joke
You don’t think that would fly, so you just write “>make cat rape joke.” WildDesu interprets this as a Pokemon move. Close enough.
>stop ignoring self-consciousness
Oh god what if someone behind you saw that, now they probably think you’re some kind of zoophile.
>ignore self-consciousness
No, it could have been a cute girl back there. What if it’s a cute girl? You have to confirm.
>turn around
You can’t just turn around! Could you possibly do anything more awkward?
>ignore self-consciousness
Too late for that man, you have to find some way to find out if a cute girl thinks you’re a zoophile.
>use powers of reasoning
This university has 60% female attendance, and everyone knows that the ladies love Anthropology. The chances of a female reading your screen are good. Also, anyone behind you would pretty much be sitting at the back of class. People who sit at the back of class are not the best students. You try to think how this could correlate with attractiveness, but to know avail.
You are now fairly sure the cute girl behind you is completely disgusted with you.
>use powers of reasoning
Okay, you don’t know who’s behind you. Think of something!
>look reflection
Reflection? Where?
>computer screen
You try to use your computer screen as a mirror to see behind you, but it’s too brightly lit. Seeing anything past your huge nose is impossible.
>fn+F6
You turn the backlight off. Now you can see a dark, slightly green mirror image of the row behind you. Your head blocks your view of the person directly behind you, which means you’re safe from them. To your left is two men. To your right... two women! You study their reflections closely, but can’t quite make out their facial features.
>listen to girls
Brilliant! They’re having a quiet conversation. Maybe they sound ugly or something. It’s worth a shot!
“...my girlfriend was—” Well, that’s one down. And the other one probably can’t read your screen at such an extreme angle. She should be listening to the professor, anyway.
>listen to professor
He’s started talking again. Something about class being over.
Oh.
>put laptop in bag
You close your laptop and slide it into your satchel. Everyone else is already standing up and leaving because they were paying attention.
>stand up and leave
You meld with the crowd as it oozes out the doors.
You won. Your score was 0 fucks given about class.
I'll be writing more of these and posting them on the forums if you guys want to read them. You might notice that they don't cover terribly interesting situations; that's because I don't have time to write them during terribly interesting situations. It's more fun to make these while I'm experiencing them, but I'll have to move on to non-computer-having situations eventually.
