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CS Game-A-Minute

Sep 28, 2008 at 12:06 PM
T-Jack
T-Jack
This Troper
"Man, if only I had an apple..."
Join Date: Jun 19, 2008
Location: Arcane Sanctuary
Posts: 1472
Age: 35
Inspired by RinkWorks.com sections Book-A-Minute and Movie-A-Minute, I've decided to write Cave Story ultra-condensed version. So, here it is:

Cave Story
By Pixel
Ultra-condensed by T-Jack

That guy: Where am I?

Sue: Find my brother.

Booster: Red Flowers!

(whole buncha characters die)

That guy: (kills Core)

Kazuma: Escape with me?

That guy: (kills Core again)

The Island: (falls down)

THE END​

I changed the format slightly for the sake of better readability. Also, I am aware that it may not be excellent the first time. So, what do you think?
 
Sep 28, 2008 at 2:35 PM
DimJim
DimJim
Senior Member
"I, Ikachan. The Life and Documentary of the OrigiNAL SQuiD."
Join Date: Mar 14, 2008
Location:
Posts: 189
More like:


Cave Story
By Pixel
Ultra-condensed by T-JackDimJim

boing
PEW PEW
BOINK
momomomomomomomo
PEW PEW
PEW PEW
PEW PEW
PEW PEW
momomomomomomomo

PEWPEWPEWPEWPEWPEW
OH NOES
IDIOT YOU WILL DIE >:(
SWOOOOOOOOOOOOSH
PEW PEW
BOOM
OKAY YOU DIE >:(
ZIP ZOP ZOOPITY BOP
*drop*
SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH
SHSHSHSHSHSHSH
CLICK
PEW PEW SH PEW PEW SH PEW SH PEW SH PEWSHPEWSHPEWSHPEWSH
momomomomomomomo
PEWPEWPEWPEWTHUNDERS
IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZAR BLAAAAGH
momomomomomomomo
THE END​
Heh.
 
Oct 14, 2008 at 9:59 PM
PunxsatownyPhil
PunxsatownyPhil
Senior Member
"Fly, Fly, Fly!"
Join Date: Oct 13, 2008
Location:
Posts: 148
Pronouns: he/him
No, it's


YOU MUST DIE! (Pulls AK-47 out of air)
And


IMA FIRIN MAH LAZOR!!! BWAAAAAAA (Shoops da whoop)
 
Oct 20, 2008 at 2:26 AM
BurnedKirby
BurnedKirby
Senior Member
"Master using it, and you can have this!"
Join Date: Oct 19, 2008
Location:
Posts: 75
Age: 33
Pronouns: he/him
DimJim said:
More like:


Cave Story
By Pixel
Ultra-condensed by T-JackDimJim

boing
PEW PEW
BOINK
momomomomomomomo
PEW PEW
PEW PEW
PEW PEW
PEW PEW
momomomomomomomo

PEWPEWPEWPEWPEWPEW
OH NOES
IDIOT YOU WILL DIE >:(
SWOOOOOOOOOOOOSH
PEW PEW
BOOM
OKAY YOU DIE >:(
ZIP ZOP ZOOPITY BOP
*drop*
SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH
SHSHSHSHSHSHSH
CLICK
PEW PEW SH PEW PEW SH PEW SH PEW SH PEWSHPEWSHPEWSHPEWSH
momomomomomomomo
PEWPEWPEWPEWTHUNDERS
IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZAR BLAAAAGH
momomomomomomomo
THE END​
Heh.
Click to expand...


Burst out laughing when I readthe first post and this. I'm so glad I wasn't eating when I read that lawl.

(4chan influences here too!?! They're taking over the Internet! Then... The world...)
 
Oct 20, 2008 at 2:54 AM
Simple
Simple
Junior Member
"Fresh from the Bakery"
Join Date: Oct 20, 2008
Location: In the bed you slept in as a child with your mothe
Posts: 19
Age: 34
Cave Story
By Pixel
Ultra-condensed by T-Jack DimJim Simple

Player: Huh? Where am I? And why am I playing as this little boy?

Player: WHAT? THIS LITTLE BOY IS ACTUALLY A ROBOT? OMGOZ!!!2211!!

Player: Did I just have sex with a rabbit??

Player: There is another robot and it's a female? WHY IS SHE SHOOTING AT ME??11??!! OMG NO, NO, NO!!!! SHE KILLED ME!!!

Player: STUPID, STUPID PUPPIES. FUCK THESE PUPPIES!

Player: FUCK YEAH, BLADE!!!!

Player: FUCK YEAH, SKYDRAGON. AND I BEAT THE GAME... O SHI--

Player: FUCK, CURLY DIED. *GOES ON TO BEAT THE GAME* YAY. OH FUCK I COULD HAVE SAVED CURLY.

Player: *GETS TO HELL* FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!!! *FINALLY BEATS BALLOS*

Player: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!

THE END​

I think it's more than one minute though. haha
 
Oct 20, 2008 at 9:34 AM
Metalogz
Metalogz
Luls
"Bleep, Bloop, Bleep, Bloop"
Join Date: Oct 6, 2007
Location: I dunnos
Posts: 1584
Em... no. It should be like this:


Cave Story
By Pixel
Ultra-condensed version by T-Jack Metalogz

Quote wakes up.
There is doctor.
Lotr ppl dies.

Path splits...

Escape with Kazuma

OR

Quote kills Doctor and minions.

Path splits...

Escape with Sue

OR

Quote kills Ballos.
Curly and Quote go off somewhere to makeout.​
Edit: Oooh! Colour codes! :(
 
Oct 20, 2008 at 10:04 AM
jcys810
jcys810
Justin-chan
"Heavy swords for sale. Suitable for most RPG Protagonists. Apply now!"
Join Date: Oct 15, 2007
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 1920
Age: 31
First Cave
- Wake up in shit hole
- Steal weapon from hobo who has no materials to create weapons
- Kill enemies

Mimiga Village
- Pick up some fish that you wear on your neck
- Chase Toroko (Who has the potential to destroy King, as you can see, her tackle pushes him over)
- Defeat loli and Balrog
- Become a grave robber
- Break into someone's house

Egg Corridor
- Walk until you see Sue and Igor having some hardcore sex
- Try to join them, Igor does a King Kong grab on Sue and flees
- Somehow phase through eggs and ransack the place
- Igor won't let you touch Doctor's eggs (he needs it for offspring)
- Rape Igor
- Try to rape Sue, she wakes up and befriends you (not knowing anything of the incident)

Mimiga Village
- Bitch got thrown in jail (She deserves it)
- Find faggot nerd who faps to cockroaches

Grasstown
- Find key and fork it over to a wimp (Who tries to be Santa Claus)
- He gives you the Shoryuken+Hadouken weapon
- Fuck a vain rabbit
- Get jellyfish juice
- I spy with my little eye, some faggot nerd fapping to cockroaches
- Save that faggot
- Fight frogs

Mimiga Village
- Learn more shit

Sand Zone
- Rape Curly cause she's hawt
- Go donate puppies to some old woman
- Fight Omega
- King got served
- Toroko experiences the horrors of puberty
- Defeat her and get the Blade

Labyrinth
- Kill some cockroaches
- Talk to Chaba for freebie/ripoff exchange
- Go fight Monster X
- You have died
- Own him after a million tries
- Old faggot falls from sky
- Defeat Balrog
===
can't be bothered to continue anymore D;
 
Oct 20, 2008 at 6:04 PM
innocent.bystander
innocent.bystander
I can has squidburger?
"Wacka-Wacka-Wacka-Wacka-Wacka-Wacka-Wacka-Wacka-BLEIUP"
Join Date: Sep 14, 2008
Location: Walrus World
Posts: 321
Simple said:
Cave Story

By Pixel
Ultra-condensed by T-Jack DimJim Simple

Player: Huh? Where am I? And why am I playing as this little boy?

Player: WHAT? THIS LITTLE BOY IS ACTUALLY A ROBOT? OMGOZ!!!2211!!

Player: Did I just have sex with a rabbit??

Player: There is another robot and it's a female? WHY IS SHE SHOOTING AT ME??11??!! OMG NO, NO, NO!!!! SHE KILLED ME!!!

Player: STUPID, STUPID PUPPIES. FUCK THESE PUPPIES!

Player: FUCK YEAH, BLADE!!!!

Player: FUCK YEAH, SKYDRAGON. AND I BEAT THE GAME... O SHI--

Player: FUCK, CURLY DIED. *GOES ON TO BEAT THE GAME* YAY. OH FUCK I COULD HAVE SAVED CURLY.

Player: *GETS TO HELL* FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!!! *FINALLY BEATS BALLOS*

Player: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!

THE END
​



I think it's more than one minute though. haha
Click to expand...
I can deduce a couple of things about Simple.
1. She's a girl.
2. She likes Cave Story.
3. She's perverted.
BlackWaltz0?
 
Oct 20, 2008 at 11:52 PM
Simple
Simple
Junior Member
"Fresh from the Bakery"
Join Date: Oct 20, 2008
Location: In the bed you slept in as a child with your mothe
Posts: 19
Age: 34
innocent.bystander said:
I can deduce a couple of things about Simple.
1. She's a girl.
2. She likes Cave Story.
3. She's perverted.
BlackWaltz0?
Click to expand...

Way to be wrong. lulz

1. I am a male. http://www.cavestory.org/forums/posts/17603/

2. Sure, I like CaveStory as much as anyone else who has played it.

3. He* And no.

Who is BlackWaltz0?
 
Oct 21, 2008 at 12:01 AM
andwhyisit
andwhyisit
Administrator
Forum Administrator
"Life begins and ends with Nu."
Join Date: Jul 15, 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 6242
Age: 39
Pronouns: he/him
innocent.bystander said:
...Oh, OK. Sorry *blush* I only saw the picture for about half a second. Sorry.
...And BlackWaltz0 wrote an interesting CS fanfiction.
Click to expand...
I swear every time I turn around that fanfic becomes even more popular.
 
Oct 21, 2008 at 12:12 AM
Simple
Simple
Junior Member
"Fresh from the Bakery"
Join Date: Oct 20, 2008
Location: In the bed you slept in as a child with your mothe
Posts: 19
Age: 34
innocent.bystander said:
...Oh, OK. Sorry *blush* I only saw the picture for about half a second. Sorry.
...And BlackWaltz0 wrote an interesting CS fanfiction.
Click to expand...

No problem. That happens every now and then because of my hair.

And, May I ascertained to why I reminded you of this BlackWaltz0?
 
Oct 21, 2008 at 11:42 PM
Simple
Simple
Junior Member
"Fresh from the Bakery"
Join Date: Oct 20, 2008
Location: In the bed you slept in as a child with your mothe
Posts: 19
Age: 34
innocent.bystander said:
it's almost shockingly similar.
Click to expand...

Ah. I didn't really have time to read what you posted so I missed whatever part it was.
 
Oct 22, 2008 at 2:54 AM
BurnedKirby
BurnedKirby
Senior Member
"Master using it, and you can have this!"
Join Date: Oct 19, 2008
Location:
Posts: 75
Age: 33
Pronouns: he/him
andwhyisit said:
I swear every time I turn around that fanfic becomes even more popular.
Click to expand...

Yeah, it certainly has for me.
(And darn you not-so-innocent.bystander, why'd you have to make me procrastinate on my work with this!! Oh well, it was a good read. Haven't read a good story like that in a long time.)
 
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