Balrog's long lost brother a cave story fan fiction

Here is my fan fiction so far.
I decided to re-write it.
One day Balrog was in a shack just minding his own business then suddenly he heard a loud crashing noise then Puu broke through the wall and yelled Yahoo!
Balrog was startled
Balrog:AAAH!
Puu:Um... do I know you?, you look very familiar
Puu: Are you here to kill me?
Balrog:You also look very familiar
Puu Gasped Puu:I remember now!
Balrog:You remember what?
Puu:You're Balrog I 'm your brother
Balrog: Wait... WHAT!
Puu:Yeah it's true we used to hang out a lot many years ago!
Balrog:You actually look very similar too a ghost that Quote and Curly were talking about
Puu:A ghost?
Balrog:The ghost was also named Puu, a coincidence I think not!
Puu:It has got to be a coincidence!
End of chapter 1

 

I can't actually read what you have because you posted in a text color that matches my background

 

I can't actually read what you have because you posted in a text color that matches my background[/QUOTE Can you just change the backround?

 

Here is my fan fiction so far.

One day Balrog was just minding his own business until puu showed up
Balrog says: Puu is that you? Puu says: yes it's me my brother! Balrog says: I missed you so much!
Curly comes in she says: what is going on here... um Balrog who is that? he looks just like you.
Balrog says: this is my long lost brother puu!. Curly says: I never knew you had a brother.
that's the fan fiction so far.​

Keep your font on the default! That way everyone can view it, as different themes have trouble seeing certain colors.

 

Never mess with the automatic font color, it'll appear as black to you, anyway.
EDIT: Oops, ninja'd!

 

You can all stop complaining about the font color now!

 

if it wasn't us it'd be someone else ;p

 

WELL ANYWAY let's move on

your fanfiction seems promising, I like the foundation of it. now the only problem I have is that bland, which even then that's because it's the beginning.

wish you the best.

 

Well i'm curious now.

 

Here is my fan fiction so far.

One day Balrog was just minding his own business until puu showed up

Balrog says: Puu is that you?

Puu says: yes it's me my brother!

Balrog says: I missed you so much!

Curly comes in she says: what is going on here... um Balrog who is that?

he looks just like you.

Balrog says: this is my long lost brother puu!.

Curly says: I never knew you had a brother.

that's the fan fiction so far.

Don’t mind me i’m just gonna rewrite you’re entire fanfic.
*cough* *cough*

Spoiler

Hey there I’m Quote, I’m a robot that was send to an Island during a war but unlike the other robot,
I wasn’t send to fight the guy that once again took the demon crown and exterminate the countless of Mimigas that eaten these flowers called red flowers.
No, well except the Mimiga part, I was sent to destroy this crown and this crown is the demon crown,
A crown that was made by a guy called Ballos but it’s better I don’t go into detail to not confused anyone.
After all I’m not here to write about this, I’m here to write about something that happen about one week ago.
So, um where to start...Well let’s go with the beginnings.
After the Island tragedy, Me, Curly and Balrog start to live in a little land with a view of the Island from our Windows.
We’ve manage to make a little house for Me and Curly, Balrog got his own house because of Him always breaking through the celling.
We’ve started eating, except flowers, because they contain too much water for us.
We’ve just eated some dead body of animals, Curly say it’ called "meat", well it taste good anyway.
One week ago.
While I were searching for some wood, I fell on something.
Something pretty blocky and look a lot like Balrog when i rethink about it.
It went pretty much like that.
Me:*Sigh*Everytime it’s Balrog turn, he’s always occupied.
And he always have a very good reason to not do it.
...Maybe, he can’t pick them up...
...WOah!!
Fall on the block

Uuh!?
Puu:Mmh, what th-
HEY PERSISTENT ROBOT DUDE, GET OFF ME SO I CAN FINISH WITH YOU!!!
Me:WAIT, I’M NOT WHO YOU THINK I AM !
Puu:SHUT UP YOU GENOCIDER, YOU’RE HIDING TECHNICS(don’t know how to wrote this)
DON’T W-WORK WITH ME!
Me:Wait!
*Pue inhale*
*Pue try something but fail.*
Pue:...Just you wait !
And then he flied away.
I should have asked if he could take stuff...
Did I already meeted him?
Well, he already meeted me anyway.
After that I decided to go back to the camp just in time to found out he was Balrog brother!
(I’m gonna stop now, thanks for the reading, gimme a shitload of like on fanfiction and bye.)

 

I re-wrote my fan fiction go to the first post on this thread to read it