Aim of life

Life for me.. is interesting. It's almost like a chest, surrounded by locks. Weird terminology, I know, but it's really confusing. For the most part, I'm really deadpan and serious. At other times, I act completely ridiculous, and I'm never serious with the words I even say. I've had a really, really tough life. Socially, and physically. I suppose I'm just one of those chosen bastards that gets his ass kicked at every event of his life. To me, I think that maybe I'm not charismatic enough, or maybe I'm just a boring, "average" human being that just gets placed into the background. I don't think I really have purpose for my life. I'm just a soft hearted and socially confused person.

Social interaction isn't so great for me. I'm really socially awkward, and it's hard for me to get truly comfortable with someone. It even happens to people that I've known for a long time, too. Sometimes I just ask really stupid and uneeded questions when they have already been answered just minutes to hours ago. Maybe it's some sort of anxiety? I know I'm very paranoid about the person who I'm talking to, so maybe I'm just hesitating? Hell, sometimes it takes me a while to think of the things I want to say. Back then, I would just say anything that would come to my mind, but now I'm just scared if the things I want to say would make the person do something that I would never like hearing/seeing. Multi-tasking also has been a big problem to me now, since I can't even focus on what the person is saying to me when I'm typing something to someone else. I just wish that I would be a little bit more charismatic and colorful with my social activities.

I really hope whatever I said was relevant enough for this thread. I want my life to be alot more lighter, and less.. blown out of proportion. I'm still very young, and yet.. I feel so rushed and it feels like I'm going through a mental cataclysm. Maybe this would have to do with a police incident that I was put through a few months back? I'm not so sure. I'll leave the rest up for my therapist, I just thought it would be fun to contribute something into the fray.

 

Not really :/ I'm afraid to die because when I die I'll be dead.

I don't want to die right now because being alive is fun, and I want to keep doing it. Does that make my goal in life to be alive?

If that is really the only reason you can come up with, then you're not really a long-term-goal kind of person, are you?

But, like I said, happiness is different for everyone.

 

You know, actually, when I think about it, I'm not really afraid to die. I may be afraid of certain things that cause death (i.e. I'd be pretty fucking scared if some angry dude came charging into the room I'm in right now holding a gun) but I don't really fear death itself. Why? I guess because it's inevitable, and it doesn't really make sense to fear something that you have no control of. From an evolutionary standpoint, fear has a purpose: to motivate you to get out of dangerous situations. That implies that the things we fear are (or at least should be, in theory) things that are undesirable, but that we have some chance of getting out of. Since we have no chance of escaping death, it doesn't really make sense to fear it; we must simply accept it.

I don't want to die right now because being alive is fun, and I want to keep doing it. Does that make my goal in life to be alive?

Well, if you like being alive because it's fun, then that would mean your goal in life is to have fun. However, as Fabulous implied, it's unlikely that that's truly the ONLY reason you like being alive, even if it is the only one you can think of off the top of your head.

Also, I'd just like to say how extremely happy I am that people are taking this thread seriously. It proves that communities (both online and IRL) don't have to be either places where people are all stupid all the time or places where everyone's a prude and no fun can be had. You can have both fun and seriousness; you don't have to sacrifice one for the other.

 

I don't really fear death itself. Why? I guess because it's inevitable, and it doesn't really make sense to fear something that you have no control of.

If you think about it like that, then no, death isn't scary. However, what I was talking about was the fear of the unknown and the fear of going before you're ready. Of course death is inevitable, but we all want to postpone it.

Also, I'd just like to say how extremely happy I am that people are taking this thread seriously. It proves that communities (both online and IRL) don't have to be either places where people are all stupid all the time or places where everyone's a prude and no fun can be had. You can have both fun and seriousness; you don't have to sacrifice one for the other.

 

Well I also want to be a good teacher (even if not as an actual profession, but in a wider sense) to teach others everything I know. I had enough of those talentless heartless "teachers" who hide their knowledge so that they seem better then pupils. I was always the best student of my generation so my feelings are not affected by bad marks. We need good, and honest people not books of 2800 or more pages remnant to the middle ages. Yes, education today is modern middle ages worldwide. Not to mention people who are always talking about "love" and they are elitist and exclusive in their hearts. Like the woman who was calling her horse "Mister" in front of everybody and gave her a beating when they were alone. Coldheartedness, family interests, rank, nobility, heritage. No sign of empathy. I`ll make the situation better as much as I can. When the first medical books were translated from latin to french it was an outrage at the French Scientific Academy since:
"Noo! Everybody, even the nasty poor are now free to learn now!" Monkeys in a suit...

 

After reading Ralren's post I can honestly say that I have many features he has. We could be ¼ brothers for all I care. Moving on...The human minds weren't designed to look as far to the future as society suggests. We were granted the gift of abstract thinking and looking to the future, but these skills are limited. We can only logically look forward to five, maybe ten years max and anything after that is just ambiguous, idealistic imagery. Fab had a great quote about death, but the thing is there might not be any deep meaning to death. We might just be scared of ceasing to exist like any other organism whether it's a mouse or an ape. Then again fear is a relative term. As for me, I'm scared of death because it will be the end of my development. I'm scared of stagnation more than I'm scared of death. And the my life is going, you could say I'm fucking terrified.

Also to sum up most of us are socially awkward men who have great ideas but not enough motivation to fulfill them as well as some great skills, whether they're writing or drawing.

 

I am scared of death in a different way. Sure, I don't want to cease existing and not be able to accomplish some things..but overall it's cause I'm curious. Death in of itself is a curiosity, of course...we don't know what lies beyond. Like in Hamlet, it could be worse for all we know...the afterlife is a mystery. We are scared of the unknown.

The unknown kinda fascinates me though. I am very curious of the world. I enjoy life's mysteries, seeing how things are progressing in the world, media, technology, scientific discoveries, whatever. I want to see how it keeps going as life progresses further and further..I want to see how it will all turn out...but death won't let me do that.

 

Oh yeah, seeing how the world turns out, I kinda forgot mentioning that.

 

These are only my most honest views. It`s just how I cope with all this, with life and how I think in general. As I said, I respect all differing opinions, so if you don`t like this, please ignore this post. At least you`ll find that I`m nuts or at least superstitious lol. That`s why all is under a spoiler tag

Spoiler

I don`t fear death at all for the following reason. I identify myself with everything that exists. When I say "I am" than I don`t think of "trickybilly", my flesh and mind alone. "There is more from a man than what`s between his hat and his shoes" . There is nature, you can call it world, or existence. No matter how many things are there the common to them as that they "exist". Therefore if you say "I am" the whole "existence" (or nature) is saying that. The universe becomes conscious of itself. I can look at a dog, a webcam, a pencil, a tree I can say "I am" that thing too. That`s why I`m trying to be benevolent and love everything in the world same as I love myself. I don`t hate and don`t want to hurt anything. Why would I hurt myself?. I help everyone to succeed, since there happiness is my happiness. This might be the explanation why we all feel good when helping others.

In fact - after learning once philosophies intensively for more like 7 years every day - I think this message -among others- was coded into all the worlds religions and philosophies:

1) Bible: When Moses was asking about the name of God he`s got as an answer "I am what I am" Mystics say say about the Bible: "De te fabula narratur" - This story is about you.
2) Hindu: Ther "Aum" world (popularly chanted in eastern meditations) means "I am" in the east. "I am" is there the name of God who is also everything that exists. That big "i am" is the same when you say to yourself "I am"
3) Egyptian religon: At the entrance of all Egyptian temples the word "I am" was written. The above is said to be the biggest secret in the Egyptian Mysteries (at least that`s how I`ve read). Btw. they worshipped cats and garlic only to show how there is divinity (I am, or everything) even in the most common things in life, even in a cat or garlic.
4) Bhagavad Gita: the whole text is about "I AM" (it is even capitalized like this)
5) Delphi: "Know thyself" - this might be not the best example, later it was corrected by mystics as "Know thy God". And by God those mystics have meant everything that exists
6) Plato , Aristotle, Socrates, Pythagoras and other Greek thinkers were on this opinion.
7) As little a peak I could get from legally published discourse on Rosicrucian tradition, their founder, Christian Rosencreuz shared similar views.
8) In many pagan religions the ancient name of god was simply "Being".


Besides I`m convinced you can avoid physical death but if you don`t you`ll be fine too.

Btw. I never ever feared death. If I can evade it (literarly or by afterlife) cool, if not than I don`t care either. I`m the kind of guy if someone would threaten me with a gun trying to intimidate me, I`m the kind of person who says "Just shoot. When I`ll be dead, so still won`t get what you want." Might even go as far as saying "I`ll count to 3 and if you won`t leave by that I`ll attack you. If you shoot you`ll go to jail. It`s in your best interest to leave. One, two,..."