I have a story for you. It is called the Pirates of Boomba.
One day, a peaceful little ship was sailing in the big wide ocean, searching for ways to become a happy little ship. Every place this ship stopped along it's route, people told tales of the dreaded pirates of Boomba, not exactly why they were dreaded, but just that they were dreaded and should be avoided. After the ship left some random port one fateful day, it was attacked by said evil Pirates. These pirates boarded the boat, and said:
"Yarr! We be the dread Pirates of Boomba! And we give yerrrr three options! One! you can have Boomba, and we will let yerr free! Two! You can become crew of this here shippy! Three! We killl yerr and throo ya down inter Davy Bob's Lacker!"
The first occupant of the ship decided that out of these options, the unknown was best, and vouched for Boomba ("Boomba! Yarrr), at which point all the pirates raped him in the butt and set him free.
The next occupant of the ship, not wanting the same fate, decided to become a crew member: "Weel, ya can become a crewmemberrr here, matey, but t be initiated, we shall have to give yer Boomba!" And they all raped him in the butt and he became a member of the crew.
The last occupant of the no longer so jolly little ship decided that he would nobly fight out against these awful pirates and die for what he believed was right. The pirates, looking forlorn, sated sadly: "Alright, fine, death..." The final occupant took a sigh of relief, and just as he was about to commit seppuku, the Captains voice rang out again, filled with joy:
"BY BOOMBA!"
And so they raped him in the butt until he died.