I'm well aware that English isn't your primary language, though I'll still try to point out any errors I find.
The pre-title screen cutscene asks me to "Press Z to continue," yet I can also just wait until it automatically transfers to the title screen.
The first map you start in, "start place", should be capitalized to "Start Place"
"have opened." should probably be something like "Turned it on."
Your text cuts off here due to too many characters on one line. That "T" should be on the second line with "ieBa"
This should probably be "You do not have an account number."
Oh, and don't forget about the <CLR command.
Sure, why not? By the way, this should probably be: Do you want to read "How to Die"?
i don't know what i was expecting, honestly
Not sure if "myna" being in lowercase was intentional, but pronouns like names are usually capitalized. Ex. Myna.
After I died and reloaded my save, the computer was turned off. However, I can still try to log in using Myna's account number.
This should be: Do you want to log in with Myna's account number?
and this should be: Logged in...
Not exactly sure what you meant by "look TieBa"
You set the text on this sign to instant display, but some of it is cut off since it spills out over three lines.
It's a shame that I can't read Chinese...
such foreign
very doge
wow
I know this jump is possible, which is why I can't stop trying to make it.
okay, made it
now what's up here
Why must you do this to me?
local man can't stop getting bodied
Finally got the key, though who is Santa?
It is usually not a good idea to let the player stand so close to the edge of the map. They can easily walk off the map and fall out of the mod.
Oops, I was so absorbed in grabbing that key that I forgot to correct spelling/grammar errors. This should be: If you are a good guy,
Don't dig up graves.
This should be: WARNING: Grave Zone up ahead!!!
It doesn't feel very good...
This should be: How does it feel to be trapped in the black room?
Not sure what you mean by "you find fifth Easter Eggs"
Kind of, yeah. I wish you used traps that weren't just falling presses, though...
I do like how you clearly indicated where the traps would be excluding that final room.
Case in point.
That wasn't nice...
help
This should be: Health increased by 3 points.
"here" should be on the second line
This should be: Got the Booster 2.0!
It would have been nice if you equipped it automatically.
oh sweet, finally found them all